I thought it would be cathartic for myself to update on the latest with our son, Josh, and I feel I owe it to those of you who have given feedback, encouragement, and prayers. Our son is basically homeless. At the moment however, my sister and her husband, who live in the Denver area, are allowing him to stay at their house, at least temporarily. This came about, about a week and a half ago, when he and I were texting and I told him he should contact my sister and ask if he could stay there. My sister and I have not been close, and he had recently messaged her to complain to her about how we were accusing him of "being crazy" and that she should tell us he's not crazy. My sister forwarded his message and commented on how sad the situation is (little does she know). I figured if she was so sympathetic to him, maybe she would let him stay at their home. At first, I told him to contact her, but he kept begging me to contact her, so I finally relented. Long story short, she and her husband met him in a public place to meet him and make sure he was safe to have in their home, and agreed to let him come there. I spoke with her last week after he had been there a few days, and she said he was being very respectful and that he "is a good kid." She and I talked about practical ways to help him, etc. One of the issues he has right now is that he lost his drivers license at some point and now has only an ID card from our previous state. Getting a new drivers license in Colorado is a big rigamarole. So I hatched a plan to help him. To begin with, I sent him about $100 in cash, mailing it first class, so that he could have some money for food/toiletries, etc. and also so that he could use the envelope as one of his proof of address verfications that are required. Now that he is at her house, he has a physical address he can use to begin the process of climbing out of this pit he has fallen into. Without a drivers license, you can do nothing. My sister had talked about taking him shopping for clothing, so I sent her a check for $200 to cover what he might need right away. When I returned from the post office, I texted Josh to let him know what I had mailed him and what I mailed my sister. So I'm thinking that any moment I'm going to get a text along the lines of "Okay, thanks Mom." Wrong. Instead, I get a text from him, full of profanity, telling me off and saying that "he doesn't need that sh*t; doesn't need to get a drivers license right now, and that the $200 I sent means nothing to him. I think there were also a few other choice phrases and statements he used, as well. Over the weekend, both my husband and I received abusive, profane texts full of namecalling, etc. so I blocked him for the weekend. My husband has blocked him already, but on his phone the text messages go into a "spam" folder, so he still gets them but has to go in to the spam folder to see them. Yesterday, I texted him to make sure he would be at my sister's house last night, as she and her husband had been out of town over the weekend and he had had to find another place to stay while they were gone. His response was, "F**k off, B**ch." Wow. That hurt. He has called me a whore, a bi**h, an "old, ugly woman." He has called my husband a "faggot," a "bast**d. He gets on a "jag" and can literally send dozens of texts, one right after another. I am grieving the sweet boy who is gone forever and I will always grieve that boy. I am grieving the loss of our dreams for him and his life. This person...he is not the same person at all. He is someone who is evil and selfish. Someone I don't want to even know. So even though I am hurting and grieving, his words to me kind of stiffened my spine a little bit and I am feeling a little more detached than I've ever been. The truth of the matter is he is not a good person; it seems he does not care for us in any way whatsoever so why am I letting him hold me hostage emotionally, worrying about his wellbeing, sending money that I have worked hard to earn? The thing that confuses me and trips me up sometimes is my husband has a niece who is Bipolar. She spent years being homeless, living in abandoned houses, prostituting herself, etc. until she was finally diagnosed and got on medication. She has told us that she used to talk this way to her parents too, and she blames it on her illness. So I wonder--is his behavior just a manifestation of his mental illness, and the Josh I once knew is still there somewhere, or is this who he really is? I don't know what will happen, but I do know that his words to me yesterday just kind of clicked within me, and I feel a little stronger, a little more able to detach than before. I know I will not respond perfectly but I am moving a lot closer to moving on with my life. I have moved closer to being able to stop thinking of him as "my little boy," rather than the adult man he is.