another ltr from prison

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Teriobe, Mar 25, 2017.

  1. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    So i am trying soo hard to not write about motivation, or what he should do or need to do. He refuses to go into general population in prison, cause he doesnt want to deal with the bs of politics of the yard like last time he was in. So he is in a cell. Which he feels better in, except when your in protective custody your not aloud visits or to have a prison job. And doesnt last the whole time, you get moved to another yard and if he dont like it because of anxiety of it all, sleeping with one eye open, trying to fit in blah blah, he will again and again and be bounced all over the state. So i am trying hard not to say anything about his plan to just read and workout. There is nothing in his plan to better himself. Oh and you cant go to any meetings when your in there, no NA no AA no church. So i was proud of the letter i wrote, nothing about what he should do or needs to do, or any motivational talk. It took half an hour to write, but its hard to change. I am trying to plant seeds. Example. He asked if i ever had bad anxiety. I said yes. i went to psycologist and got help. I didnt say you need to go to prison psycologist. I just wrote what i did. ?
     
  2. Catmom

    Catmom Member

    So far so good. It is hard for the parent(um, me) to stay out of my son's business and not ask questions that will shift us back into the whole enabling cycle. My son just waits for me to step in and take over solving his problems and sometimes I slip up and take on the role again. I think you did well in just saying what you did etc. Keep things neutral for now if you have to....
     
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Teriobe

    I am kind of doing the same thing with my son. I am so tired of "counseling" him to do what is right, make the right decisions etc. He just had a relapse but says he's now back on track etc.

    I told him that I need a break for ME. I cannot keep getting sucked into this negativity. He has my love and support but I just can't be there for him right now. Me being close is NOT the key to his success. If it was, we wouldn't be doing this right now.

    As parents we do have the right to focus on ourselves too. I'm sick of suffering because of his bad choices.
     
  4. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    I know, its so unfair to us. We are suppose to be enjoying our later years. Instead we have to deal with this crap and listen to others talk about their successful kids, while mine keeps repeating and going to prison. I even unfriended someone on fb cause all her posts are about her and her 4 adult kids. Traveling with them, dinners, parties , family vacations. And my family is broke. I will never have that. Even if son straightens out. Soo much resentment. And hubbys had it. Dont want to ever see him. My dreams are gone.
     
  5. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    And god forbid we need a break, then something always happens or we feel guilty. Thats why i just want to go live in the woods alone