New Member
Ok...this one is for ME.

As I've posted before, I am NOT normally an anxious person. I am seriously not. But, my goodness, there is WAY too much going on with M and he is WAY to unpredictable that I am totally worked up. Yesterday, I spent an HOUR and TWENTY MINUTES sitting by the window waiting for the van for Extended Day Program to come pick up M not knowing how he was going to react when it pulled up...was he going to get in the van, was he going to go into another 4 hr rage and destroy my house, was I going to have to call 911, was he just going to calmly refuse to get on the van and go to his room to "take space"???? So, I wait for the hour and twenty minutes with my heart pounding out of my chest, my stomach naseuous, a lump in my throat, my body shaking, choking back tears, and just feeling like a complete and utter mess. And the worst part? Due to a miscommunication between me and the Program Cooridantor, the van NEVER CAME!

Anyway, today my anxiety is already through the roof because I have to try to get M to the Dr, which he has already let me know he is going to refuse to go to...and then today the Program van is definately coming and I have to again go through the waiting game and anticipate M's reaction when the van shows up. And then first thing tomorrow morning I have to figure out how to get M to our in-take PPT at the new school that he doesn't yet know about!!!!

Seriously, I feel like I'm going to...I don't know what...vomit, cry, breakdown...something. And my psychologist appointment isn't for FOUR WEEKS!!!!!

So...are there any natural techniques I can use to calm myself down or even some OTC medications I can take? I don't think I've ever felt like this in my entire life. It's overwhelming.


Me..I just cry. Going to therapist doesn't do anything. He only says how are are some new drugs to try. 3 weeks, bye.
I know I am getting really depressed because the few thinks I loved to do, I just don't have energy to do. Would just rather sit in bed and not get up.
If you find the answers you are looking for, please share them. You would be doing many a great service as I am sure many of us are looking for the same answer.
Good luck. Take a walk. I use to walk a lot, hours. Use to love it and it really use to help. But, I am so depressed now, I just don't seem to have the energy, even though I know it works.


Active Member
If you can find a psychologist who specialises in cognitive behaviour therapy, give that a try. Crikey, just get a book out of the library, for starters. Deep breathing, counting your breaths, relaxation exercises, meditation/visualisation/relaxation - there are a lot of things, but they take practice. Maybe a starting point - keep a diary and make lists of things that need to be done. Then you won't forget to organise the van next time! It IS less stressful, too, to know you've got it planned and you're not trying to hold all the information in your head. It's like trying to do your shopping without a list - you buy stuff you really don't need, and you forget a few important items in your efforts to remember.

It's less stressful to shop with a list. It's less stressful to live with your day mapped out in writing. It leaves more of your mind free to think outside the square and to control a panic.


I have times where I feel that my heart is going to beat right out of my chest. Truly, these things help (make sure you don't fall asleep if you need to be awake doing something!)

Lavender oil. I have some in a mister. Spray it on whatever surface you are near.

Darken the room, close your eyes.

If you can get your hands on one of those relaxation CDs, great. Otherwise, it is fairly easy to do it yourself in your own mind. Start with "thinking" your toes to relax. Then your feet. Ankles. With each body part, wiggle or stretch it a bit, then imagine it becoming completely relaxed. Do this to the top of your head. You are willing your body to relax.

Any type of soothing music (or better yet, the sound of a beach) in the background helps.

Any soft, comfortable fabric touching your body. Your preferece: cotton, silk, satin.

I have horrible insomnia. This puts me to sleep in 10 minutes. And at times when I have these horrible heart thumping episodes, it brings me back to earth.

Hope this helps. Hugs and prayers.



New Member
Thanks ladies.

Marg- I didn't forget to arrange the van. What happened was Tuesday when M found out he was starting Program on Wednesday, he went into his four hour rage of destroying my house, endangering his brother, and I contemplated calling 911. In the midst of this, I called the Program to give them the heads up that I was doubtful that he was going to be succesful in getting ON THE VAN on Wednesday and I wanted to find out by what time I needed to call them on Wednesday to CANCEL the van if things were a disaster at home. The Program Coordinator misinterpreted this as I was going to call either way and she was not going to send the van until she heard from me, but she did not say that nor did she clarify that this was her plan before hanging up with me. So, I sat by the window for an hour and twenty mintutes freaking out waiting for the van, under the impression that because he was suppose to start that day and I had not called to cancel that the van WAS coming. Now his new start day is today and I get to sit by the window all over again and wait for the van and see how M reacts. YAY! After I struggle to get him to the Dr just a couple hours before. YAY! to a hot shower and some candle light. That should be relaxing. M looks like after a fairly "high" morning he's going to hunker down and maybe take a nap on the couch. Interesting.


Active Member
Oh....I have been where you are SO many time. It is really not a good place to be at all, and my empathy is overflowing for you at the moment. So sorry!

My son is now 16, and I have been going through what you are experiencing since he 4. I have tried every anti-anxiety technique, and the truth of the matter is, there are only a couple of things that work for me. The problem is that what you are experiencing is not just mental, it also becomes a physical problem. The brain begins to misfire in a loop, and it becomes not just a mental, mind over matter thing, but also a matter of stoping that physcial loop. For me, and it sounds like you, it is nothing short of torture. Ugh!!!

So, the 2 things that work for me combine both the physical and the is kjs mentioned. A hard walk or a jog literally releases that anxiety out of my body. The other thing is Xanax. I rarely take it, and I don't like the addictive potential, but when I get like you, it is the only that stops the cycle. My primary doctor prescribed it for me, so maybe you could call him and ask for an appointment? It might be better than waiting 4 weeks for your other appointment.

Good Luck! And I am so sorry you are going through this.


Mom? What's a difficult child?
Zoloft!!! LOL
Seriously it was what helped me with my anxiety and insomnia... I still get down I also think the Topamax helps a bit with my mood.. I try to garden a bit, do the same think a BBK. Come here, I have just recently discovered that I love birds.. who knew??? I have started feeding them and getting more feeders slowly and putting them around. I also feed the squirrels. The girls enjoy it also, but now we have a family of starlings, chickadees, swallows right outside our windows! We can see them while we eat.
3 ducks have also moved into our yard!!! This is along with all of the multitued of all the ones that come and go... I am finding it very relaxing to watch them, oh and the hummingbirds!!! SO cute.

I also only do what I can!!! If my anxiety is too high and I just can't go to the store... then we eat cereal!!! This is usually in combo with the kids being out of control!!! I try to cut myself some slack... Monday I put the girls in front of the TV and put my headphones on and mowed the lawn!!! It was very relaxing... It is the only way I can do it, the sound is too much for them.

Try to go easy on yourself... if talking helps go for it. We are here.
Yes, Totoro!

I feed the squirrels and the birds right off my balcony. I am not even in an urban area. We don't even have "cool" birds, just stupid robins. But I feed them.

Yeah, something about connecting with nature on any level possible. Even these ugly cicadas...creepy as they are, I am fascinated by them.

If my foot was not so messed up, I'd walk too. Right to the nearest lake, river or pond. Water calms me instantly.

Now I want to go swimming. :bath:
Hi Allison and all,

One quick technique that usually brings me some instant relief is to take a long,full inhale through my nose, hold it (my breath) for 20 seconds, then blow out fairly forcefully through the mouth.It feels great!

Also, with relaxation breathing, you can keep the inhale shorter than the exhale, ie. inhale for four counts, exhale for six counts. The longer exhalation promotes relaxation.This could be done for about a minute -- or as long as you care to treat your body to some delicious breathing!

I also take Xanax when necessary to break the cycle. But the breath holding works great for me.

Good luck
You're not alone


Active Member
Nomad, surely you meant "FOOT massage"? Although I'm really curious about the concept of a food massage, it could be relaxing if someone else was doing the laundry...

BBK, I also like the communing with nature idea. Gardening is good. I remember once when I lived in a flat and was extremely poor, I stuck a sprouting onion in a glass of water, put it on the kitchen windowsill and occasionally would 'harvest' a short length or sprout to use on a tomato sandwich. That was as far as I could get into gardening back then! Alternatively for a housebound dirt-free gardener - try growing sprouts for salad. You can do it in a jar with muslin over the open end, held on with a :censored2: band. First day - soak the seeds. Then rinse and drain, twice a day. To drain, leave the jar either on its side or upside down on the draining board. You probably should wrap something opaque round the jar to keep light out of it, or the sprouts may taste bitter.
Or you can get one of those terracotta chia pets and grow alfalfa sprouts on it.

A really good visualisation plus meditation on a regular basis can be good insurance against anxiety attacks. When you're practised at the visualisation and can snap back into it quickly, it can really help. The best visualisations are ones of a place you've really been, or have a photo of. If you can reinforce that visualisation with smell it's even better. I used to combine the visualisation with taking my pain medications, so just as the pain medications were beginning to take effect, the visualisation and meditation was really involved. it meant I built up a conditioned response and in an emergency I could use the visualisation as a substitute for pain relief, or an assist. A good visualisation should include sight, sound, smell, temperature - everything you can draw in to make it as real as possible. It helps to have a few you can use, depending on the time of year. For example, my most useful visualisation is a rainforest three hours drive north of Sydney. it's shady, it's near the sea so I can hear surf and seagulls in the distance and scrub turkeys scratching at their nest mounds nearby. There is a stream flowing through with a large, mossy strangler fig with roots among the brown river pebbles. Vines everywhere. Shady, cool, fragrant. But in winter, sometimes I need something warmer, something I can't use in the height of summer - the memory of lying in the sun on our beach. The slight sting of sun on my back; the sound of seagulls, the surf pounding rhythmically; the smell of salt and seaweed, the memory of cool water on my skin and the stretchy feel of salt drying on my back; the warmth of sun like butter melting through my body. Very effective.

Undoubtedly you have some favourite places you can use as part of an effective visualisation - a mountaintop at sunrise, maybe, no habitation for as far as the eye can see. If you are nervous of wildlife, then in your visualisation put a force-field around your location. You can put in whatever you want so the end result can be a bit surreal, but it can be very effective.

Sorry about the mix-up over the van. These things happen.



Active Member
Allison, if your anxiety is sky high and you are waiting for an appointment for yourself with a specialist, you might want to see your primary care physician. Frequently for adults they will prescribe anti-anxiety medications to bridge the gap for appointments such as this.

Hang in there--

timer lady

Queen of Hearts

been there done that with that level of anxiety. Seriously sweetie, I've given up on all the natural relaxation techniques until I got a true handle on my level of stress/anxiety.

My family doctor prescribed ativan for me to be taken 3x daily. I'm down to once a day & am now utilizing deep breathing & bio feedback types of exercises.

But first it took the medications to "break", if you will, the level of anxiety I was experiencing. Doctor added in lunesta to help with sleep situations. I only take the lunesta as needed now. It took me a good 3 months to get my anxiety down to a manageable level.


Well-Known Member
I just want to thank you for posting this. I have been experiencing such a high level of anxiety lately. It is really getting to me. Affecting my life really. I made an appointment for next week, but meantime I will try some of these techniuques.

Thank you!


Hi sweetie. I know what you are going through. Just a suggestion, my regular family doctor put me on anti anxiety medications. What started happening to me was that I felt like my heart was racing a million beats a minute, then I would get light headed. He sent me to the cardiologist they did every test imaginable and nothing. I even experienced it when they had me all hooked up and I said, "see its happening right now" but nothing showed up on my tests. So they ruled it anxiety attacks. My family doctor put me on busbar and I have to take amitriptolyn at night so that I can sleep thru the night. I was waking up 2x's at night just because my anxiety levels were so high. I have also bought a sketch pad and a set of pencils and began drawing. (I have never been one to draw..I do good stick people lol). But it amazed me the calming effect it has on me, even lowers my blood pressure. Now difficult child wants his own set of paper and pencils..hmmm. I will open a Southern living magazine and sketch a picture that I see in there and it actually looks half way decent.
Sometimes I think how sad is it that I have to be on medications because of difficult child's problems?? But, it is a necessary part of life I guess.
I hope you find something that helps.

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
Oh, by the way, besides medications I took up piano; I also made sure that I got out weekly for golf during the summer. I made it a priority.

Additionally, I put limits on appointments - other than psychiatrist, I scheduled appointments in the first 2 weeks of the month. The rest of the month I have off.

Just wanted to share that with you.