any Ideas???

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by please_help, Nov 28, 2007.

  1. please_help

    please_help New Member

    I am new to this site but I need help for myself and my son..... Here is just 1 night with my son.... I was going to walmart to get pull ups and it was 8 pm my son was suppose to be in bed but refused so I allowed him to watch t.v (not that he really watches it) I told my son he could not go with me because it was late and he has school in the morning, Well he did not like my response so he threw himself down on the ground was hitting himself and throwing things now I have learned not to pay much attention to him or it gets worse well he decided to bite himself hard enough to draw blood, I did not notice until the blood was seeping through his shirt, I said to my son you are bleeding let me clean you up he tells me no it does hurt I will do it again I walked away.... He destroyed my house, broke my blinds broke the dresser was throwing things around, finally I went outside (big mistake) he tried coming out I told him its too dark He says If you dont let me out I will just break my arm now..... My son carries on for at least 2 hours, I am clueless on how to begin to handle these outbursts..... He can go weeks being the sweetest most loving child and then just change like he is not the boy I raised. I have a 7 year old daughter who is very well behaved even helps me to not set of my son, She gives into him very easily because if she does not he will hit her. Every time my son does something wrong he does not see it that way he says they were mean to him. Now I am a single mom I am home during the week but work weekends, I have some emotional problems such as depression and bi-polar, His father also has some anger issues never diagnosed with anything and my daughter has depression. I need some help I feel as though I am failing as a parent the doctors dont help because he is so young but it is an ongoing issue since he was 2, Any advice will help PLEASE!!!
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    How old is he? What doctors have evaluated him? There's help to be had for him, but you've got to go to the right place for it.

    My sympathies go out to you -- that's a very scary and out-of-control situation you've got on your hands.
  3. please_help

    please_help New Member

    He is 5 and has these problems since he was 2, Yes young I know. I have had the pediatrician evaluate him, the school, the harbors, and a psychiatrist, He seems to fool them all I just dont know how he does it. I use to tell people about the way he was and they all looked at me as though I was the crazy one, Until last night 2 other people saw his behavior and were in a complete shock mode, I brought him to the harbors because he was hurting himself and charging at me, The harbors said the could not take him because of his age but then again no one will
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    What is the harbors?

    I'd call the pediatrician and the psychiatrist back and tell them the specifics of what happened last night and that you have witnesses. If they still don't want to listen, I'd start looking for new doctors. Hopefully others here will chime in and offer their experiences, too.

    It's important to document the details of his outbursts -- dates, times, circumstances before, during and after, etc. That can really help support your reports to the doctors and help them figure out what the pattern is.

    Does the psychiatrist know about your own mental health history?
  5. please_help

    please_help New Member

    Well the harbors is a behavioral institution they do like out patient car as well as emergency care, Most people go there for a 72 hour evaluation... I have documented everything for the past year and it is just because he is so young I guess they do not want to mis diagnose... And yes they all know about my problems and the medication that I am on. Thank you very much for your input
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I know it's not very practical, but I would load him in the car and take him to the ER. Especially when he's bleeding. I would limit my responses to his queries as to where he is going to things like "somewhere that you can calm down." Maybe your difficult child is different, but with M, if I had told him I was taking him to the ER to have him evaluated for admittance, he would have done a 180 and turned it into a situation where I looked out of control for overreacting to a small tantrum. It would be hard to dispute with his own bleeding bite marks on him, though.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911

    HI there -

    The behaviors your child is exhibiting are considered criteria to have him evaluated at the local hospital ER. "Danger to self or others" usually gets him an overnight stay, a meeting with a mental health worker, and gives the doctor on staff a chance to evaluate his medications.

    I have a masters degree in plaster patching due to my sons outbursts. What I have learned over the years however is I didn't do myself or my son any justice by trying to KEEP him at home. When their behavior is that out of control there is something else wrong that NEEDS to be addressed in a more controlled environment than we as parents can possibly give.

    If he does this again - put him in the car and don't take NO for an answer at the hospital. Put a file together of ALL the placements, school findings, medications, dates, times, lengths of rages, damage done - and keep updating it. It will be the MOST valuable tool and help you will ever give your son. My file is 2 file boxes full and a portable 18 lb. plastic file box. It's all in chronological order, and there in order for the asking to ANY health care professional. I will always offer copies but NEVER EVER originals.

    You're wise to let him go to a point - but when he starts destroying and breaking multiple things - enough is enough. Time to go. Better to do it now while you can almost handle him than to wait. My sons first admission into the state psychiatric. hospital was at age 7. He chased a neighbor kid down the street with a metal scythe. Enough was enough. Throwing his bed out the window, breaking his closet and bedroom doors, destroying his toys, ruining his walls, busting stuff, - pretty typical behavior that if any of us did this - we'd get hauled off for help - it shouldn't be any different with our kids.

    BE the warrior Mom - and find yourself and him a good therapist. This is going to take a long time with help to control.

  8. please_help

    please_help New Member

    Well Star I did a little research on this CD and have made another dr appointment so I can discuss it with him..... I thank you very much for your advice I do hope I can get somewhere with this....