P
PassedExhausted
Guest
Hi!
I'm a new member. I stumbled upon this site while once again rechecking to see if I'm crazy. My son is 12 and he's been extremely difficult since he was a toddler. He's had Occupational Therapist (OT), ST, Resource help...he's always been about 2 years behind his peers. When he was three, his preschool teacher (who was also my daughter's preschool teacher) sat me down and told me that we had some issues. She called in an outside agency that tests children and they felt he may have Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). That was a group of five people in on the testing and they spent over an hour and a half with my son. The follow-up person who came out to "concrete" that finding, spent exactly 25 minutes with my son and insisted that there was nothing wrong with him. At that time, I didn't wan't him labeled....and even though I knew something was "off" I accepted all the therapy the district was willing to give....and let it go. It's never really gotten better. My son crumbles in rages....he's had them since he was two...they last for hours....I've literally spent entire evenings (6 hours sometimes) having to restrain my son. He hurts people....a lot and viciously. He attacked three people at school...his principal twice and two staff people once. When the Principal told me that she was going to call the police if he didn't calm down....I yanked him out of school to homeschool....this didn't go well. He had his first bout of severe depression about a year ago....where he matter-of-factly spoke about thoughts of suicide, he's tried to throw himself out of moving vehicles. He attacks everyone in the house. The first psychologist I brought him to thought it could be bipolar, since he was already diagnosis'd as ADHD...and a tentative ODD...she felt that bipolar was the umbrella. At the time all of this behavior was happening at home. She assured me that it was usually the case with bipolar kids to have one place where they feel free to let loose, while maintaining at other places. I researched this and found it to be true. I did stop seeing this psychologist because I thought she centered too much on how I can change myself to help my son. Now, don't get me wrong, I get the changing your approach thing and the picking your battles thing...but I went through months of reward charts and rewards, journals.....none of which my GFC cared about for very long (classic ADHD). We didn't seek help again until he was depressed last year...this psychologist also felt strongly that we were dealing with Borderline (BPD). He recommened getting my son back into school but at a controlled environment where there were counselors and support staff and nurses...as well as psychologists and psychiatrists on site to take over his medications. I fought to get him into this program.....and he shows nothing there....the normal....back talk and disrespect, some depression...but nothing like the kids around him (full blown crises a few times weekly). This is an 8:1:1 environment with support staff and counselors constantly coming in and out of the room. Things have not been happy, happy since he started school again. I've needed to have the police out for my son three full times. He has turned ME in for abuse....for an incident while he was restrained (or trying to be) and pulling my hair out with one of his hands...he's needed to be transported to the psychiatric center and it took two big officers to get him there. He is twelve and needs constant supervision...he can't go to the playground with his friends or down the road to the store....because he invites trouble. The smallest slight....gets him riled enough to want to kill someone. The only place that he can maintain is at school. And now the psychiatrist tells me that he can't understand why my son's behavior is not manifesting itself at school as it is at home...and it must be my family dynamic. I didn't speak long enough that he had to inquire whether or not I was still on the line. I was infuriated that once again my son's problem....somehow means that it must be something I or someone in my family are doing. I resent the implication that I need therapy or my family needs to go to therapy because of my son's illness. And if this is what this pyschiatrist does on a daily basis (as he is the program's psychiatrist) why doesn't he KNOW that bipolar kids typically hold it together in one place while letting loose in a grand way in another. Why is he making me feel that the above is a false statement. I did pull myself together to point out that it was actually ONLY at school that he seems not be acting out, since he can't be out of my sight for literally 10 minutes without either trying to harm someone or pushing someone else into wanting to harm him. I asked him whether it was really that strange that he's only been at this school for 6 months and there are literally between 3 and 5 people around constantly to supervise what's going on in a group of only 8-14 kids. He then told me...."Well if he truly only behaves when the authorities are standing over him....". At that point I stopped him and reminded him that he didn't care when the actual authorities were at my house....calling them filthy, vile names, and being disrespectful...then need to be dragged by two to the psychiatric center. He actually chuckled and said, "yes I heard about that and we may be looking at ODD." ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!! I'm truly at the end of my rope. I don't even know if I want to fight to keep him in my home. I feel like I'm crazy. For the longest time I never let anyone know about the abuse we all suffered at the hands of my son....but if you follow through and call the authorities (it took me 8 full years to do that)....they penalize you...by all the time and inconvenience that you need to go through because you have a mentally ill child. I do know that our whole life centers around my difficult child's moods and rages. Trying Geodon now....yeah the dr's answer to my dilemma from above was to increase that by 20mg....like that was what I looking for. I feel like I got a "shut up" increase.
Thanks for being my captive audience.
MK
I'm a new member. I stumbled upon this site while once again rechecking to see if I'm crazy. My son is 12 and he's been extremely difficult since he was a toddler. He's had Occupational Therapist (OT), ST, Resource help...he's always been about 2 years behind his peers. When he was three, his preschool teacher (who was also my daughter's preschool teacher) sat me down and told me that we had some issues. She called in an outside agency that tests children and they felt he may have Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). That was a group of five people in on the testing and they spent over an hour and a half with my son. The follow-up person who came out to "concrete" that finding, spent exactly 25 minutes with my son and insisted that there was nothing wrong with him. At that time, I didn't wan't him labeled....and even though I knew something was "off" I accepted all the therapy the district was willing to give....and let it go. It's never really gotten better. My son crumbles in rages....he's had them since he was two...they last for hours....I've literally spent entire evenings (6 hours sometimes) having to restrain my son. He hurts people....a lot and viciously. He attacked three people at school...his principal twice and two staff people once. When the Principal told me that she was going to call the police if he didn't calm down....I yanked him out of school to homeschool....this didn't go well. He had his first bout of severe depression about a year ago....where he matter-of-factly spoke about thoughts of suicide, he's tried to throw himself out of moving vehicles. He attacks everyone in the house. The first psychologist I brought him to thought it could be bipolar, since he was already diagnosis'd as ADHD...and a tentative ODD...she felt that bipolar was the umbrella. At the time all of this behavior was happening at home. She assured me that it was usually the case with bipolar kids to have one place where they feel free to let loose, while maintaining at other places. I researched this and found it to be true. I did stop seeing this psychologist because I thought she centered too much on how I can change myself to help my son. Now, don't get me wrong, I get the changing your approach thing and the picking your battles thing...but I went through months of reward charts and rewards, journals.....none of which my GFC cared about for very long (classic ADHD). We didn't seek help again until he was depressed last year...this psychologist also felt strongly that we were dealing with Borderline (BPD). He recommened getting my son back into school but at a controlled environment where there were counselors and support staff and nurses...as well as psychologists and psychiatrists on site to take over his medications. I fought to get him into this program.....and he shows nothing there....the normal....back talk and disrespect, some depression...but nothing like the kids around him (full blown crises a few times weekly). This is an 8:1:1 environment with support staff and counselors constantly coming in and out of the room. Things have not been happy, happy since he started school again. I've needed to have the police out for my son three full times. He has turned ME in for abuse....for an incident while he was restrained (or trying to be) and pulling my hair out with one of his hands...he's needed to be transported to the psychiatric center and it took two big officers to get him there. He is twelve and needs constant supervision...he can't go to the playground with his friends or down the road to the store....because he invites trouble. The smallest slight....gets him riled enough to want to kill someone. The only place that he can maintain is at school. And now the psychiatrist tells me that he can't understand why my son's behavior is not manifesting itself at school as it is at home...and it must be my family dynamic. I didn't speak long enough that he had to inquire whether or not I was still on the line. I was infuriated that once again my son's problem....somehow means that it must be something I or someone in my family are doing. I resent the implication that I need therapy or my family needs to go to therapy because of my son's illness. And if this is what this pyschiatrist does on a daily basis (as he is the program's psychiatrist) why doesn't he KNOW that bipolar kids typically hold it together in one place while letting loose in a grand way in another. Why is he making me feel that the above is a false statement. I did pull myself together to point out that it was actually ONLY at school that he seems not be acting out, since he can't be out of my sight for literally 10 minutes without either trying to harm someone or pushing someone else into wanting to harm him. I asked him whether it was really that strange that he's only been at this school for 6 months and there are literally between 3 and 5 people around constantly to supervise what's going on in a group of only 8-14 kids. He then told me...."Well if he truly only behaves when the authorities are standing over him....". At that point I stopped him and reminded him that he didn't care when the actual authorities were at my house....calling them filthy, vile names, and being disrespectful...then need to be dragged by two to the psychiatric center. He actually chuckled and said, "yes I heard about that and we may be looking at ODD." ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!! I'm truly at the end of my rope. I don't even know if I want to fight to keep him in my home. I feel like I'm crazy. For the longest time I never let anyone know about the abuse we all suffered at the hands of my son....but if you follow through and call the authorities (it took me 8 full years to do that)....they penalize you...by all the time and inconvenience that you need to go through because you have a mentally ill child. I do know that our whole life centers around my difficult child's moods and rages. Trying Geodon now....yeah the dr's answer to my dilemma from above was to increase that by 20mg....like that was what I looking for. I feel like I got a "shut up" increase.
Thanks for being my captive audience.
MK