Defying or otherwise, I feel no "contempt" for your difficult child nephew, nor any difficult child on the board, in the news, etc. I may feel "contempt" for some actions of persons, but that does not automatically breed "contempt" FOR the person, OF the person.
There is a big difference from deciding to detach from a person who is a difficult child, has a mental health issue, or addictions, that isn't helping themselves and is too chaotic to continue to be involved with, vs writing the person as a whole off with "Contempt" and some pretty drastic words to characterize them.
I think that perhaps this forum isn't the place for you if you cannot see that while we have often posted appreciation for your attempts to help your sis and difficult child nephew, we also cannot prescribe to the "contempt" theory nor to some of the harsh terms, the finality of the way in which you speak of difficult child's.
This board has members who didn't walk into a life for 2 years to try to help, it is chalk full of parents who have their own children struggling with some pretty major issues. We've seen it ALL here, up to and including the difficult children that thrive and overcome, to the difficult children who may never see the light of day but from behind prison bars. We have many of us had to detach from difficult children and not involve ourselves in their lives. One thing never heard here before in all of my 12 years as a member, is such blatant loathing and writing off of a person simply because that person has not been "reached" and assistance offered did not impact change in a difficult child.
With respect, I would personally like to state my own opinion (I speak only for myself) that I find it very uninviting to read posts where there is blatant loathing, contempt and characterization of "unreachable" from a poster regarding a difficult child. Again speaking only for myself, I find it harmful to the community to have posts so blatantly scathing and hateful sounding. It is bound to get peoples hackles raised as it seems to be offensive to not only me but to other members, to read posts that are inflammatory in part.
I have seen much growth and learning in your posts over time. I have also been given good food for thought from many of your posts. I believe everyone can contribute in a forum such as this and add to the dynamic, the thoughts of members, the growth process we are all going through. I also think that in participating in such a closely formed collective membership with many very long term members, it is vital that one considers what they've typed before they've posted.
I do not mean to cause offense and I truly hope I haven't. I just feel that as a long term member, perhaps by speaking how I'm feeling with some posts might be helpful so that all members might think about why they are here, what they hope to gain and what they hope to offer. Approach is everything.