There is roughly 5 weeks of school left. My difficult child is failing his sophmore year almost completely. Presently, his only passing grade is in metals. He's even failing strength and fitness and auto and he loves these classes. I am at a total loss as to how to help. I have offered to get him a tutor, I have suggested he drop one class so that he could more study halls (presently he gets one 70 minute study hall a week). He refuses everything. He tells me that he doesn't need help but he fails to help himself. I was starting to feel like I was running out of time. difficult child is 16.5. My goal since middle school as been to get him to graduate high school. Anything after that was a bonus. I have fought long and hard to reach this goal. I've used a combination of rewards, punishments, natural consequences. In the past, I usually got some positive result even if it was only temporary. Now I get nothing. I know a big part of the problem is poor attendance. He's had several minor physical health issues this year; as well as, his usual "mental health days". He is forever playing catch up and its getting harder and harder for him to do. In middle school he had a guided study hall every day. It's probably the only reason he passed. He really does seem to care about his grades. It's a sensitive topic for him that often results in frustration and tears when its brought up. But he does not seem to be doing much about it. At the start of the new quarter, we talked. I asked him what would motivate him to bring up his grades. Imagine my surprise when he told me I should be more strict?! After years of everyone, (dex, easy child, difficult child)telling me I was too strict. He told me not to back down. "You don't have to be a complete jerk" he says to me. "I probably will be but don't back down. I think that might help me" Well he missed the first 6 days of the new quarter because of a tonsillectomy. The following week was spring break (I originally scheduled the surgery during break but dr. cancelled). I collected as much homework as the teachers would give me. It was an annoying task that required 4 trips to pick up work for 5 classes, twice the work was not where it was supposed to be and had to be hunted down. All of these trips were before work or on my lunch break because the office is closed by the time I get off of work. I digress. The next step is to get all of this work done and he did get everything done that he knew how to do. But then I find out he only handed in the work for one class and not the others. GRRRR. Do your kids do this? I was so irritated. I came down on difficult child one morning. Told him I was sick of arguing about this issue. I was taking away his computer privileges and XBox until he was back on track. I used a stern voice which to difficult child equates to yelling. He ends up in tears, crying really hard, "I'm sorry I'm not the son you wanted" (insert knife in my heart-I felt terrible.)I stay with him until he calms down but he still refused to go to school. He stayed home and slept all day. sigh. When I got home he was doing homework...which was short-lived. Then he ends up being sick again later that week(I think he really was) and misses another day of school. He's missed 10 days this quarter alone. Last week, it occurred to me that I was stressing out because it did not seem like difficult child was going to reach my goal for him. It's ironic that after I came to this conclusion. I read a similar thought in another post. It really is not about me and what I want, it's about difficult child. So I start to change my focus and I start thinking about what life skills he needs to learn to be successful. He talks about getting a job, but makes no effort. He talks about doing alot of things but he never follows through. I am so afraid that I am going to fail this kid. I love him so much. But nobody lives forever and who will look after him when I am gone? I am so confused. I am just rambling. Part of me thinks I should be upstairs right now taking away all of his priviliges hoping that sheer boredom will make him complete his work but I don't think it will. After the blow up,I think he will do what he always does to escape...sleep. I am just too tired to even deal with it tonight-how lame is that. I know this is stupid in comparison to what other people are going through with their difficult children. My difficult child has come along way. He doesn't rage anymore, his impulse control is better. I am thankful for all of that. I guess I am mourning a bit, maybe this is as good as it gets. Sorry for the long post.