Aspergers or borderline PD

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Sunshineaftertherain, Dec 18, 2018.

  1. Hi all...my son is 15
    He has been in therapy for 12 years!
    His previous psychiatrist has diagnosed him with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), mild, when he was very young.
    His current psychiatrist, who has been seing him fior 4 years first diagnosed adhd, she was never confinced about Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD).,,,she also thought about social anxiety disorder.
    He has also been seing a good psychologist past 4 years, who says he is confinced its Aspergers.
    Lately the psychiatrist is starting to wonder if its not maybe early antisocial/ borderline personality disorder thats unfolding!
    He has alot of the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) symptoms, but has alot of friends, he does have some social anxiety and shows emotional disregulation...
    BUT...,lately he is becoming more and more abusive towards the rest of the household...he has "stolen" R16 000 of money online for gaming.(from our bankaccount)
    2 Months ago he AGAIN stole R4 000 of his dads money, he creared fake accounts, used his dads ID and even stole my creditcard details to subscribe to porn sites and gaming stuff online...he lies as if its no second thought.
    He is addicted to gaming, he loves grusome stuff, bloody games...he swears at us.,,he even spit at his farther and threw me with chicken bones!
    He is always very sorry afterwards, but usually because he lost some privalidges...
    He can be the nicest, sweetest son, but the moment things doesnt go his way or you say no to a request he becomes HULK!
    He will lash out towards his younger brother and has pushed him so hard that he got hurt!
    This only happens at home! Outside he is this sweet, nice child....
    He also soils his pants, EVERY day....
    He always blame others for being mean with him, never takes responsibility for his actions, he isnt interested in doing homework, we still need to do it with him...he doesnt see logic in natural consequences.
    For any other parents of PD teens or ADS.,,whats your thoughts on this?
    We feel isolated, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed and very abused!
     
  2. Frieda

    Frieda New Member

    Hi Sunshine, sorry you had to come here. I have a 19 year old with high functioning autism (and ADHD and anxiety). Every kid with autism is different, and I am certainly in no position to give diagnostic advice.
    My son shows the same social difficulties at home and at school. He has no friends. I think a kid with autism having many good friends would unusual. My son tends to be honest to a fault, very rule bound. However there are many high functioning kids who are very addicted to video games and who steal money to feed their addiction. Soiling themselves can be a sign of something medically wrong (motor control issues or bowel problems are not unusual in kids on the spectrum) but it can also be a flag for attachment issues or other mental health issues.
    It might just be too early to tell what is going on with your teen. I am thinking that the teenage years are typically very hard for any kid with mental health or neurological issues. Addiction (gaming, substances, whatever) make a difficult situation worse. A diagnosis like autism or schizophrenia or antisocial personality disorder is made by how many criteria/symptoms someone checks on a list. There are no blood test or 'hard' medical evidence. Often there is a lot of overlap and quite a few of our kids have a 'syndrome-mix'. As frustrating as it is, a diagnosis is no solution in itself, you always just end up having to deal with the symptoms you see.
    Sorry, this was probably not helpful. Just know you are not alone. And as the mom of a nineteen year old -the teen years are rough. But they all mature. And mostly things get better.
     
  3. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you are in this tough circumstance. But welcome.

    I did a google search and all of these symptoms and behaviors you cite have been linked to video game addiction; anger, emotional dysregulation, social anxiety, manipulation, stealing. I could see the soiling as related too if he gets so into the game he chooses to ignore the urge to go or prefers to soil rather than take a few minutes to go to the toilet.

    I would try not to get sucked into psychologists coming up with serious diagnoses to explsin behaviors related to addiction that can recede if the addiction is treated. I would focus on getting him treatment for that and see where you are then.

    To a large extent you control his access to gaming. Do you monitor or limit his use? I would not allow violent or bloody games.He should not be allowed to attack brother or anybody else. First I would find a therapist or program that specializes in this, as my priority. And worry less right now about potential other diagnoses.

    Take care.
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2018
  4. Thanx for all your replies...yes we do think he is addicted to games...the psychologist he is seing got his Phd in this field!
    He had most of these behaviours even before he got so terribly hooked on gaming...he uses it to escape all reality and resposibilities.....when we try and limit his time he becomes VERY verbally abusive and start pushing things....he will keep on being anoying and bored....
    Alex ...regarding talking to him...he isnt open to any form of conversation....the moment we try and calmly have a discussion...doing all the right things, giving him chance to vent exct, he blocks it...says we musnt start, here we go again, we must keep quiet, he hasnt done anything wrong, we brought it on ourselves because we dont want to allow him to do whatever he wants, regarding gaming..,,he seldom takes responsibility for his actions. He is a very big and strong boy and weighs double my size, he has a very loud voice, and can be very intimidating, we dont really know how to put the balance back.
     
  5. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Sounds like autism to this layperson although my son who has it is 24 and never had any behavior problems. All auties are different.

    A couple of things that.most auties I met all have is trouble with give and take communication, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) behaviors, most love to game (my son is 24 and on his own and still loves his gaming and buys tons of stuff) and a dislike of socializing with crowds or strangers. The.ones I know are loners, pretty well behaved, rule followers as they have black and white thinking and love routine.

    Sometimes autism can be comorbid with a mood disorder.Then you get more acting out.

    I was in an autism parent and kid support group with about 100 kids and adults with autism for years so I did meet a lot of spectrum people. It was supposed to be a social group but most of those with autism did not reach out to others and hung around with family.

    You could see that some were much higher functioning than others. Some had no social skills at all and would yell inappropriate things to the lifeguards (we met at a pool). My son is quiet and understands how to be socially appropriate and he lives alone and works. But he loves his videogames and they havent ruined his life (shrug)
    Auties have obsessions. Its part of the deal. Often its videogames or computers. Many find jobs with computers. Its hard to stop an autism from his obsession be it videogames, train schedules, memorizing maps, certain TV shows which they often can memorize or memorizing sports statistics. Videogames are very common though.
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2018
  6. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    The reason doesn't matter if he gets violent which includes throwing things call the police. Most likely if it gets him what he wants it will get worse. There have to be consequences and obviously it is dangerous for you to try and handle it on your own. Also if he does it at home it may escalate to outside the home. My son can be extremely personable when he chooses but when he goes off he is scary. Spitting is considered assault.