At my wits end

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by serviswithasmile, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. serviswithasmile

    serviswithasmile New Member

    Feeling today that 14 y.o. ADHD/ODD difficult child son has exhausted everything I have. He is 8th grade, currently has 14 absences (unexcused) because he won't go to bed at a decent time at night and he won't get up at all in the morning. We have been struggling with these issues as well as poor behaviour at school and less than stellar academic performance for several years, however, since he is now 150lbs and nearly 6 foot tall, it really seems to be getting worse and worse with each passing day. Especially when he says he's NOT going to do whatever it is that he has been asked or told to do i.e. chores or taking his medications, etc.

    As MEAN as it feels to me , this week I instituted a "be ready to leave at 7:35 no excuses policy". Either hubby or I take easy child daughter to highschool at 7 then come back, and TRY to take difficult child to school. Most days it involves much screaming and drama and this week I'd had enough. Hubby was out of town for a few days, yesterday difficult child wasn't ready on time, I left and went to work and advised school counselor of his issue. He slept till I came home for lunch at 11 a.m. then got his butt up and I gave him a ride to school on my way back to work. No excuse slip from mom, wished him luck and dropped him off.

    Today slightly better after he spent the afternoon yesterday with the school counselor discussing what his truancy is leading up to (court). However, still not ready to go at 7:40 a.m. so I had to leave. He walked the 3 blocks and made it to school at some point during 1st hour so that was improvement.

    However, the darling counselor emails me at work telling me that when checking on difficult child this afternoon, he was dead asleep during final period of the day. Grrrr. Currently onl Vyvanse in the a.m. Intuniv in the p.m. (previous medications -- Concerta, makes him rage. Straterra became ineffective as he hit puberty. Zoloft totally zoned him out to zombie state. ) I hate this **** shoot with medications, it's really wearing us down.

    psychiatrist (right in front of husband on Monday) advised difficult child that the medications are important, but that if difficult child chooses to NOT take them, there isn't a whole lot the parents can do about it. Grrr.

    husband had heart attack in September, so the stress of difficult child these past few months is really affecting his health. I feel like I am the glue holding "it" all together so it doesn't crash. Does that make sense? But I am really starting to fall apart here. Thinking I may end up wearing a nice white jacket with the arm ties in the back.

    Thanks for the shoulders... really needed to vent a little before I head home for the evening from work. Dreading what awaits me there. The only bright spot is that husband is back home and Thank God we are finally on the same page about difficult child son after many years of husband being in denial and me tackling the ODD/ADHD issues alone.
  2. tictoc

    tictoc New Member

    Just wanted to welcome you. I hope things were peaceful when you got home.

    Glad to hear your husband is on board with tackling you son's issues. Many of us here have found that husband's, in general, take longer to come around. Sigh.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Welcome. I'm glad you found us.

    Is it possible:
    The diagnosis is wrong?
    The medications are wrong?

    Has your son ever had a neuropsychological evaluation? If not, it might be helpful so you can pinpoint exactly what's going on. Neuropsychologists can be found at children's and university teaching hospitals.

    Again, welcome. I hope you find a lot of support here.
  4. serviswithasmile

    serviswithasmile New Member

    Fairly peaceful. Lil booger is sweating it because school wants to pursue the truancy issue, possibly in court, so he is towing the "I'm such a good boy" line tonight.
  5. serviswithasmile

    serviswithasmile New Member

    Definitely would like to get him neuropsychologist evaluation. That is mostlikely next step. Very disgusted with current psychiatrist. Why would you tell an ODD kid that "your parents can't make you" take the medications? That's like giving the kid a golden get out of medications ticket. difficult child is definitely ODD. I've known it since about age 4 for him, JUST finally "officially" diagnosed this year! ADHD - inattentive also definite. Missing pieces = possibly high functioning autistic and/or sensory issues. When younger couldn't stand tags or sock "lines", now can't stand for people to see his naked feet, and he has auditory overload at times (hears sounds that are high pitched or that make his ears hurt). We'll just keep plugging away until we get it right. Thanks for the ear!
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board, Lisa!
  7. BeyondWeary

    BeyondWeary New Member

    It feels like w i t s e n d. But, hey, I made it through just o n e m o r e d a y .