At what point? (Thoughts of dying)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by comatheart, Aug 5, 2010.

  1. comatheart

    comatheart Guest

    difficult child has this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. In his "diary" that I am secretly reading he mentions thoughts of dying or revenge. After a rough day yesterday he ripped up all his drawings, posters, awards and even the diary. He was destroying things that were near and dear to his heart!

    He was an obvious mess so we intervened and had him sit on the couch and gave him the stage. We told him to tell us anything he wanted to say and we wouldn't interrupt or argue. (an idea that I got from one of you) It was very good for all of us, but he did admit that he thinks he won't be able to get better. He said maybe it would be better if he weren't around anymore. Maybe he would be better off dead.

    Of course, this deeply saddens us.:( How do we know when to take these comments seriously? A couple years back when he first went down into this black hole he had suicidal thoughts. He directly told his younger brother that he was going to kill himself. We immediately took him to a psychiatrist and I think (unfortunately) he learned real quick to keep those kinds of thoughts to himself or mom and dad are going to freak! That psychiatrist scared him so much that he actually learned not to speak of the action or how he will do it.:mad:

    So my question is at what point do we take him seriously and worry that he may follow through with these thoughts?
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I would take him to an ER or at least a crisis center and have him evaluated IMMEDIATELY! I'm not saying that to frighten you, only that it is better to err on the side of caution, especially when it's something like this.
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm sorry your difficult child is suffering hopelessness. I think most teens go through the "I'd be better off dead" thinking when they are going through hormonal fluctuations. Letting him vent is a good thing. Hopefully it will help him feel like he has some control. If he appears to be going down the slippery slope you should have a plan. Talk to the psychiatrist and maybe call a crisis hot line to talk about how to help your son and where the best place is to go.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It's a bit like a double edge sword. Force him to go to the hospital and the sense of trust will be gone. Keep him at home and try supportive measures and it could have terrible consequences. I think that you all are the only ones in a position to make that decision. It's a frightening burden and I am sending supportive prayers and thoughts your way.

    Having raised eight children I know that personalities vary greatly and interventions have to be adjusted to the specific child. Good luck. DDD
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Call his psychiatrist today and ask for advice on how to proceed. You also may want to consider that the celexa may be making things worse. I think that if your gut tells me that he slipping that you must act.
  6. comatheart

    comatheart Guest

    Well that's just it. We don't have a psychiatrist right now. We haven't seen that particular one for almost 2 years. On Monday we saw our pediatrician over all the recent issues and he is referring difficult child to a new psychiatrist. For now, we're hanging in the balance until we can get through the referral process.
  7. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think under the circumstances, a call to your pediatrician is in order .. let him/her know what is going on, and see if they can get him in to see someone ASAP. Sometimes doctors can call other doctors directly and get you in more quickly. I really think a professional should evaluate him to see just how serious his thoughts are. I know you're worried he'll close up, but if it's approached with concern and "hey let's get you some help if you're feeling this badly, we love you, don't want to see you so unhappy, and don't want to lose you" he might be more willing to speak to someone.

    If nothing else, call your locality's mental health/community services department and ask to speak to someone there about a potential crisis. Tell them the history, what's going on, and see what they think.
  8. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I agree with CrazyinVA. Call your pediatrician and ask for advice on how to proceed. Doctor to doctor always gets kids seen faster in my experience.

    I also agree with TM that Celexa could be making things worse. I have three kids who reacted poorly to SSRI antidepressants. It made them worse, not better. SSSRIs carry a black-box warning that they can cause suicidal ideation. It's something you need to consider in this situation.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree with-the others--call the pediatrician and speed up the process.
    Consider changing out the Celexa and using something else.
    I hate to have you take him into the ER because if the one dr scared him the ER will only make it worse. He needs to process these thoughts, not supress or repress them.
    Many hugs.