Awful weekend - Update

[I'm Hangin' on by a Thread]

I don't know how much more I can take.

I am living in my late father's house - that my sister and I have inherited last May. I live here because I can't afford to live anywhere else right now AND I am fixing up the house to sell it. I am waiting for my Social Security disability to go through. Everything should be ready by the end of the school year. Then I can make my plans on what to do and where to go. This has been the plan since last fall.

This past weekend - my sister stopped by and informed me that she has decided that she no longer wants to wait to sell the house. She wants to sell it NOW. The fact that I have nowhere else to live is (in her own words) "not her problem". She says that she will contact a lawyer and force the sale. After begging and pleading with her - I got mad and told her to get out. I went after her to chase her out. I tripped and fell and landed on the floor face first. My face is swollen and bruised from my forehead to my cheek and I have a black eye. I have several other bruises on my body and I smashed my knee. I am so sore that I have been barely able to get around all day today.

Also - on Friday, I had an OB Gyn appointment to try to determine the cause of my post-menopausal bleeding. He tugged and prodded and pinched me "down there" - and I am so very uncomfortable from all that, too. The doctor says that I need to have a hysterectomy and vaginal wall reconstruction to fix childbirth damage, prolapses, fibroids, and other problems. This is the second time that I have gone through all these exams - but had to suddenly move before I could have the surgery.

It always seems that - just when everything is calm and seems to be working out - all heck breaks loose. Why?? Why can't I have peace and calm for more than just a while. Why can't things work out MY way for a change?? How can I keep finding the strength to keep fighting back year after year after year.

I need help, my friends.

Amy

 

[kris]

<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #990000"> amy, i'm sorry your sister is being so mean about this. didn't you inherit equally....have equal say in the matter? why is she being such a bully?

have you tried the argument that real estate sales are very soft right now & it might be wiser to hold onto the property longer & wait for the market to take an upward swing??

falls like that can really bruise you up. you're going to feel sore for a few days. can you put the surgery off until things are more settled?

kris </span> </span> </span>

 

[Abbey]

It seems that waiting until the end of the school year wouldn't be that huge of a deal...it's just around the corner.

I'm sorry you fell. I'm the queen of klutz, so I know the feeling. :rolleyes: I am never without a handfull of bruises on my body.

I hope things get better for you.

Abbey

 

[Wiped Out]

I'm sorry things are so rough right now. Your sister sounds mean spirited-I hope she can decide to wait. I hope the bruises heal soon. Saying a prayer things take a turn for the positive soon. :angel:

 

[timer lady]

I'm sorry that you're weekend was so difficult. Sounds like your sister has a use for this money & has little empathy for your situation.

I hope things settle soon - you sound at the end of your rope.

 

[Marguerite]

Unfortunately, your sister is legally in the right. It IS a shame, but she really doesn't have to consider you in this at all.

The thing is, you both need to stay on good terms with each other. And surely, when the house IS sold, you will get some money to help you with some sort of housing? Maybe she's afraid that you don't intend to sell it, ever. Family can sometimes get quite panicky (and therefore unreasonable) when money is involved. There is the fear that family members will presume on the ties of blood.

husband's father was in a similar situation. husband's father had two brothers. One lived in the old family home, because he'd been the one living there to look after their invalid mother. When she went to a nursing home it was this brother who was always visiting her, fetching things. of course husband's father and other uncle visited their mother a lot too, but this sense of responsibility always seemed to lie with this oldest brother.
When she died, the oldest brother continues to live in this house although it was owned by all three equally. They could have forced the sale of the house but chose not to. But then, the two younger brothers had each other to bounce ideas off, they felt less anxious about the whole situation. They came to an arrangement with their brother which would give them some sense of financial security, as well as give him continued residence. While he lived there he continued to be responsible for the maintenance of the house and to pay all utilities. But it took constant hard work to maintain good relations between them and not let the issue of the house come between them. I know that in almost all other families, the old man would have been forced to sell, and would then have gone to a nursing home. I suspect a big reason they were prepared to wait, was they knew they wouldn't have to wait very long - he had advanced emphysema and wasn't looking after himself. He only lived four years past his mother.

The old house is now long gone - bulldozed for housing development and a road.

Marg

 

[Suz]

Yikes, Amy- yes, you had a terrible weekend! I'm so sorry!

Hugs,
Suz

 

[Sunlight]

just sending a hugs for all the boo boos you are encountering.

 

[Stella Johnson]

Would it be possible for you to buy her out of her half of the house? Take out a mortgage for that amt?

Sorry you are having such a tough time.

steph

 

[Loris]

I'm so sorry things are so rough right now. I hope things calm down soon. You'll be in my prayers.

 

[I'm Hangin' on by a Thread]

Thanks for the kind words and thoughts, my friends. I feel much better than I did when I started this thread. It's amazing how bleak things can look at 1:30 in the morning.

I have quite the rainbow colors on my face - from yellow and green to purple and red. And a glorious black eye! I look like.....well - I look like my face hit the floor!! Various other bruises have appeared all over my body - but are just a minor annoyance now. It's certainly not like falling as a little kid! We don't bounce anymore!!

I haven't heard a word from my sister - but I have been harrassed by my Mom twice. I think that she is the instigator in this mess - because she told me that she and my sister have been discussing the "situation" lately. She and my sister feed off of each other and cause all kinds of problems with their speculations and paranoid suspicions. I try so hard not to let them get to me - but every now and then they pull a doozy. Like now.

I DO believe that my new anti-depressant is working well - but I still need something for anxiety.

Thanks again for the support!

Hugs,
Amy

 

[totoro]

I am sending a big hug for your aches and pain. I agree it does seem like the good or not so "crazy" times never last very long. I wonder sometimes if our lives look ideal to outsiders... just from the observer???

Because some days it seems like everyone else has it so much easier, casually strolling with their calm happy children. The mom's looking not so manic and wide eyed with anxiety, (the way I feel most days out in public)!!!

I hope your lame sister backs down. I know all to well all about lame families!!!

Hang in there.