babysitter went m.i.a.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi!! just another happy update from me ............. :) not!!

    i'm laughing at this my babysitter is M.I.A. yup I dunno where she is, isnt returning calls, or texts shes a goner I think.

    What is up with ppl?? So, first week she was amazing she played games with difficult child, etc. well by the second week the t.v. was on everyday after they did homework and the sitter would sit on teh couch cleaning her purse out while difficult child sat on the floor eating too many cookies infront of t.v.

    usually we do tv. time at night after dinner, not after homework except fridays. i'Tourette's Syndrome not a strict rule yet when i was home with her it's how i ran things. an hour or two each night is wayy enough.

    anyhow, yea so ms. babysitter i called twice last night for today to watch difficult child so i could work. than i called the night before last for yesterday and she didn't call back. so i'm guessing she's done.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    What a flake! Sorry she bailed on you. Hope you can find someone more reliable and who actually interacts consistently with the kids instead of putting on a good show for a few days and then lets the TV take over her job!
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Screaming out loud for you! OMG, and she started out so well. This has got to be confusing to difficult child as well.
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member


    you know what i am p*ssed off now. it has taken some hours to calm from the hectiness of today adn trying Occupational Therapist (OT) make my appointments inbetween no sitter and difficult child home but wow. what a nerve with a kid like mine, talk about confusion. yea the woman you played games with up and left no good bye no closure. my kid does not deal well with that at all.

    so i will be calling her and planting her and maybe even writing a piece on teh local website about avoiding her babysitting services.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry. How frustrating.
    I don't understand, with the job mkt the way it is, why people don't take their jobs more seriously.
    Best of luck finding a new one, and trying to get everything done. :(
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Don't be too hasty - what's written online can't be taken back if you change your mind. Make sure of the full story first. There could be many reasons why she hasn't answered the phone or returned your call.

    I'm not saying she hasn't bailed on you - it's quite possible that she has. But it's also possible that something has happened. Cosider a possible alternative scenario - she's come down with meningococcal, for example, and is in hospital. Or she was in an accident. Or she's had to drop everything and go quite suddenly.

    I had a good friend at school, we used to play together a lot. Her mother was a good dressmaker; even though we did most of our own sewing, my mother would at times hire my friend's mother to make a large order for us. I remember their tiny little house, I was there often, not just for fittings.

    One day they were gone. My friend didn't turn up for school. The house had everything in it but there was no sign of mother and daughter, no forwarding address. Despite swearing undying friendship, they hadn't even bothered to tell us where they were moving to, and I never got a letter or anything.

    But by the time I could have got upset at lack of letter, my mother had been told the story - my friend's father was supposed to be permanently in a locked psychiatric ward for te criminally insane. He had escaped, the local cop had been notified and he immediately went round to their house to collect the mother and her kids. No time to pack, just get out fast. Do not leave any details of where you will be - he is a clever man, he will try to find you.

    The cop got them away within half an hour of receiving the phone call. He drove them to the train station then came by the house on the way back to the police station. The house showed signs of being broken into, some personal items and photos had been taken but nothing else.

    All of this was unthinkable. If I'd been writing this as fiction, it would have seemed too far-fetched. But it happened.

    I never heard from my friend again. I could have been offended, would have been, if I hadn't been told why she had to cut off all contact.

    OK, your babysitter may have just given up. She sounds like she wasn't up to the job anyway. Seriously, I would say to her next time, "Oh, I've been so worried when I couldn't get hold of you, I was worried you were lying in a hospital bed somewhere, nobody knowing where you were." Or similar. If she HAS been lying in a hospital bed, then you haven't done anything you would regret. And if she hasn't been, then hopefully you will make her feel really guilty, because you don't do that to people. If she feels she can't cope with difficult child, then she should say so. I've had sitters tell me that they didn't feel up to looking after difficult child 3. One woman actually quit child-minding completely, because trying to mind difficult child 3 had convinced her she was getting too old for this lark.

    If/when you find that she has just abandoned you with no rsponse, no referral on, no telling you honestly - then I would say go ahead, dump her in it. Word of mouth is generally the best way to share that information, anyway.

  7. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    That is just SO rude. Atleast you could of gotten a call saying they could no longer babysit. I always told my boys when they get a job, regardless of how small or what they do, someone is counting on them. That would just totally tick me off.

    Sorry you have to deal with this. Must be so very frustrating.
  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Oh Jen, I am so sorry! You have had to go through so many hurdles with finding a right fit for your daughter and now this!!! I can only imagine how frustrating this is for you. I think you have every right to put something up on the local website about how unprofessional this woman is!!!! Do it!!!

    Back to square one. That really stinks!

    Good luck, hang in there. :)
  9. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    I agree with Marg. I would never post anything negative online about another human being without being absolutely POSITIVE of my facts. Right now, you have no idea why she's not returning your calls. Unless you can find out why with 100% certainty, any further action would be a bit unreasonable.
  10. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I agree with Marg, but also kinda sounds like the type to bail.

    Type up your online review, but keep it on your easy child til you are certain she isn't dead somewhere. Once you know what happened for sure, post it. That is info I want to know if I'm looking for a sitter...
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Did she ever call?

    Rather tangentially, one of my sisters just got a call from one of her former cleaning ladies. She fired her several yrs ago ... I think she was diplomatic and said things weren't working out.

    During the call, the woman said she had found Jesus, that my sister was wonderful, and by the way, since she had found Jesus, she had to confess that she'd been stealing from my sister.

    {wry smile} Yeah, that's why she was fired ...

    but it's odd that she would call after all this time and "confess."

    Just to say, you don't know what is going on behind the scenes. And this babysitter may call you sometime with-a story you may or may not expect.

    The babysitter could be a flake, she could be in trouble, or she could be a flake AND in trouble ;), in which case she could have called ...
  12. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Hi guys!! :)

    Marg I'm breathing lol. I read andy's post and I was like you know what, andy's right and now i'm mad! :)

    Anyhow, she's fine I think she just bailed. difficult child isn't hard to deal with at all with the sitter. easy child was here as well and told me what was going on. I had to have someone here for both of them after what easy child pulled and the way she's been acting lately with a attitude I didnt' want to chance it and leave difficult child with easy child.

    boyfriend and I discussed it a bit last night, she knew id' need her this week she knew that kids were off she just bailed. Yet I'd def make a call first to say wow i really thought you were dead, i couldn't imagine you not calling back and just bailing on us that way!!

    So I re worked most of my schedule for next week so that I can get difficult child almost all the days I just have one day that needs to be covered now by a sitter.

    I guess she obviously wasn't the right person. Yet talk about fun this week all my appointments cancelled, i am not making my quota due to that, we aren't packed yet and I had to trust easy child with difficult child this week so we did absolutley nothing fun at all we just survived our week basically.

    I'm sooo sooo glad it's over tomorrow. I found this week to be enormously stressful and I found myself using difficult child's coping skills to get thru :)

    I am def going to write somethiing because at teh end of the day we live in a small town, it will be tasteful maybe something like the importance of responsibility or something to that affect. I"m quite sure she's out there now looking for other employment.
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How frustrating to have this happen. I would be so upset! Sending hugs your way and I'm glad most of the days you have figured out and that the one day you find a sitter for the one day you still need one.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Aw, I am so sorry. I wish she would have called. That is so rude.
    I know you are glad that tomorrow is Friday!!! Good luck with-that one day. I know you'll come up with-something.
  15. ML

    ML Guest

    How stressful for everyone! Well at least difficult child didn't have time to get *too* attached to her in that short of time. I just know that someone better (more reliable) will come along soon. You must be getting excited about the move! ML
  16. Jena

    Jena New Member

    thanks guys, yes i have the ex coming out earlier, tmrw instead of sat. so i can go to appointments in the afternoon after she leaves at 2.

    i just know i'd never do that, that's a serious character flaw to me. to not have the "balls" excuse the term to call someone and say hey i don't want to do this. oh well, i read her wrong.

    such is life :)
  17. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Lame Lame Lame

    I would be a little miffed. You are a much nicer person than I am.
  18. Jena

    Jena New Member

    yea I tried to call her again and got voicemail.......... than i text her. suffice it to say she dumped us.

    witch!!!!!!! so now next week i'm trying to book my appointments leaving wednesday open so we can move yet i can't because i cant' run past a certain time due to NO SITTER!!!