Last June, I joined and posted about my difficult child daughter, age 19, BiPolar (BP), tempermental and moody, who was living with a loser. You all gave me some sound advice. I just went back and read it all, and it rings true. I did not post again because things became much less stressful when difficult child then left and moved out of state with the loser to his stepmother's home, where the stepmom was charmed with my difficult child (everyone always is) and offered her free board there - difficult child decided to enroll in an art school there. Well, husband and I were enjoying our peaceful home and enjoying our empty nest-we can't control her anyway- although we warned difficult child that it really wasn't in her best interest to go up there and mooch off this lady-we preferred that she stay here, even if it means stress for us. She did not meet academic criteria for the college so enrolled in a community college there to get remedial and basic courses out of the way and hopefully transfer to the art school eventually. Said she was going to get a job-as we would not send her money other than for school and medical needs. She comes home for holidays although loser won't accompany her. She still loves her family members. 9 months later - still no job - kept one job hostessing at a restaurant 2 weeks - passed off one remedial course and dropped the credit course because admitted herself to mental hospital for suicide ideation for a week. This semester, enjoying an art class and doing 2 remedial courses. But now - she has worn thin on the stepmother bc she will not work, will not help around the house, throws fits, is possessive of the loser and wants to "be engaged" although he makes very little $ and blows it immediately -usually indulging difficult child's wishes. I am up tonight because step mom had her fill and kicked difficult child out. She drove a couple of hours to her grandpa's house, and has been there since yesterday (he is a kind, wise, and patient man). difficult child is panic stricken bc she has nowhere to go in the loser's town, and wants to finish the last 2 months of her art class. husband and I have refused to fund an apartment love nest for her and the loser. She's begging us to put her up in a hotel -no way. I have spoken at length with stepmom and told difficult child tonight that she needs to apologize to the stepmom and stick it out this semester. But she refuses. So stubborn. Told difficult child she can always come home, but she clings to the loser. So...I can't do anything else. She called crying a little while ago and blamed me for her misery since I would not fund a hotel room for her (and the loser, I'm sure!) I guess I just needed a little affirmation. As nice as it has been with her gone, I still think she has made a mistake moving off there. Now she is seeing why. I have tried to detach and let the chips fall. Don't know what she's going to do...actually her only choices are to apologize in order to stay there, or to come home. Thanks for letting me vent.