Been A while...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Confused, May 16, 2012.

  1. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Hi all. Its been a while since I have been on here. Its not that my son has been perfect, I seemed as if all I did was complain about his problems. I didn't want to do that. Plus,I wanted to come and help you all or at least lend an ear, but, its been crazy with studies, family health, my kids, my computer and my thoughts. So anyway, my update is I have been trying not to say bad words, which i have improved but not perfected! So this is still my homework. I am trying to chose my battles carefully and let little ones slide. Im also trying not to argue back ( yes,I have done that-acted like a child at times). Well, so far just at home, he threw is little kids table the spongbob type, and it broke the outlet,he broke the toilet tank ( the top) I don't know by banging the seat lid or with his toys..something, and continued to make the doors come off the hinge. All because he was mad. Same old threats, procrastination, and heres the issues at school. First, his grades are still low in not keeping his workplace tidy,his hands and feet to himself, sloppy work , doesn't finish work, tough time focusing and following directions. These are not daily issues, but very common issues. Yesterday he had another accident the teacher wrote *also had another accident. He should be potty trained!!! Is there a medical issue? ( this time urine) Well, he is potty trained, let me remind you or inform others who don't know. Before Pre-K started he had diarrhea for a bit doctors saying give him Pepto, watch foods etc over the phone he will be fine. He started Prek and kept having accident took him to the DR and they finally did a culture saying "strep- bottom". Since then, he had acquired ..... [h=3][FONT=&quot]Encopresis:[/FONT]
    [/h]They have a problem with their bowels that dulls the normal urge to go to the bathroom — and they can't control the accidents that typically follow. So it was because of constipation, Im trying to keep his diet well, but even the Dr said its not really diet, its in his mind. Been on medications. So several upon several accidents in Pre-K and some in Kinder add some pee accidents in with both grades.... Now yes, the pee accidents I believe are because he his holding it because he wants to play.. I told him and the teachers this. The teacher calls him strong willed, and he really tries to make deals with his speech teacher and regular teacher. I am going back to a bland diet and starting from scratch to see if this time it will help with both his accidents and his anger, lack of focus. Sometimes he is good in the stores, but most of the time, wow!!!!! Its like I have to prepare for a battle knowing it will happen upon entering! So this is still an issue. He comes up with brilliant things, I wish it would at least even balance out with the rest. Still no help, they say he is spoiled or all boy. Oh, yes, back in T-ball, just started, will do swimming, been riding his bike, he loves taking out the garbage - he offers!! But, once he gets out there he loves playing with and re-arranging the big garbage cans... Well thanks for reading my long story. Hugs to all for your issues.

  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Wow, made me tired reading glad you came and checked in...that is why we are here for each other! You really are a warrior mom every day.

    The toilet story made me think of something that thank heaven is long enough ago that I can laugh.... Q AND his cousins would put things down the toilet that would clog it up. One time they were taking a bath together and while we were getting things ready I guess something got by us...from the toy bucket where all the bath toys were...things like little guys, characters from TV and other traditional bath toys....well, one went down apparently.

    I asked the boys if something was down there. They admitted that Bob the Builder was flushed down the toilet. I said now I have to call for help. My nephew said, NO!!!! Bob can fix it, YES he CAN! (if your kids ever watched that, this is similar to his theme song....sigh) It was so frustrating that Q would do this over and over but my nephew did make me laugh!

    It is a nice reminder that some issues have disappeared (of course they morph into other things....blah) so thanks for that.

    Hang in there and stay strong! hugs, Dee
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I am also glad you checked in. Have you gotten anywhere with him being evaluated for Special Education services at school? If he has medical issues that cause accidents then they should NEVER bring that up as an issue. Sounds like you're life is still quite chaotic. Check in more often when you can. don't worry about "complaining instead of offering support". We all go through those periods. When things are better for you, THEN you'll be able to support others. We have all been there done that and would rather have you here ranting every day if that is what you need than to be absent for periods of time waiting for something good. That's what WE are here for.
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Hello there! Sorry, but I've got to say it - your doctor is an idiot! Diet has nothing to do with it? All in his head? If you make those stools so loose that they can't retain them, then they just can't retain them. I have personal experience with two retaining bowel cases. Fortunately neither went as far as encopresis, but only one was in the kid's head. The other was all due to hard stools. Solution for both was to make them really have to go via diet.

    Anyway, such a tough thing to deal with. Sending you appropriately soft vibes.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    have you tried the gluten/casein free diet? i have several friends with kids with similar problems who were helped by this. others have been helped by addind benefiber and/or miralax to their child's diet. many say that miralax makes them have to go whether they want to or not, the kids say that not the parents, lol. it can also help to have the child go to the potty on a strict schedule and have to sit there for a set amt of time unless they go. we did this at one point when one of the kids was having frequent urinary infections from not emptying the bladder fully because of the rush to get back to the toys. sadly i cannot remember which of my kids, lol, as it has been so long. but the doctor said to make them go every 2 hrs and sit there for 10 min or until they produce. if they potty they can get up before 10 min but if they don't potty they must sit there. of course we kept books there and toys, and it was NOT easy to keep a child sitting there, but it DID work. After a couple of days and learning that Mom was NOT going to just forget about this, they started producing so that they could go play. Using the desire to get back to playing as a part of the motivation to finally go was very helpful. It was not easy to sit there with them as they sat on the potty, but it worked and was much better than having them sick with fever, pain and accidents from not going often enough or fully. Plus having them spread their legs all the way and sit even if they are boys, or sit backward (facing the tank) with books/toys on the top of the tank to play with to keep their legs spread so their bladder COULD empty also helped. I know we did this for a while with Wiz because he had some structural problems at birth and after the surgery we did this to keep everything working until the repairs healed, so I know it also works with boys.

    I hope you get this worked out and his idjit teacher stops making comments like this. her comments will only upset him and he has little control over these problems, ESPECIALLY if the teachers let him not use the bathroom at regular bathroom breaks. those 'deals' are a fault of the teacher NOT the child, esp if they are contributing to the accidents. I wonder if she would like notes in her mailbox about HER problems? I bet she would NOT and I bet that he feels the same way about HER notes, Know what I mean?? She is out of line, in my opinion. this is a medical issue and she has NO business with her potty training remarks. I would problem comment to her boss if she didn't stop it. After all it IS common for kids in kdg and even grade 1 to have accidents. Every parent in kdg and grade 1 had to bring spare clothes to school in case of accidents and replace them AS NEEDED, because it is VERY common for kids to have accidents at school. So why is this such a big deal to this teacher??? Sounds like she is a big part of the problem, in my opinion.

    i hope things get calmer soon!
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Welcome back!
  7. Confused

    Confused Guest

    buddy, lol Im sorry, yes, I can ramble :) Omg, Im sorry, your story made me laugh!!! :rofl:That "Bob can fix it,YES he CAN!!" HAHA Im sorry that was so cute :) I can just picture that in my mind!!! Aww.. Sorry I reminded you but hey, some things are meant to be shared :) Thank u
  8. Confused

    Confused Guest

    TeDo, thank you :) No, no evaluations, still the run around. Im tempted to move to another states just for a little while to get help, but I have no money to move, plus my disabled grandfather and father here. Tough call. Yes, I will be checking in more often :) I know, you ALL are wonderful here!!!
  9. Confused

    Confused Guest

    keista, I know, I think their Dr is an Idiot too! Its funny how the doctors at the same clinic all disagree on it! Im glad you got the retaining bowel issue solved. Yes, sometimes I let my son have treats, but Im going back to those special diets again! Thanks for the soft vibes :)
  10. Confused

    Confused Guest

    susiestar, Those are really good ideas and tips, thank you, I will use them! Im glad you got him to go. I didnt think about the kids not finishing and rushing to get off before they are done to play. Hmm, I need to try this. She is really nice to him about it, but writes them to me. She says I never told her or she would of wrote it in the lesson plan! Umm I did tell her, I thought the problem was done but warned her when the year started. Plus if he was two days late I would tell her, one time even told her outside of church right after mass when they were walking back to class! Shes in denial. She does give them regular breaks and if they need to go in between, all they have to do is tell her. Thank you :)
  11. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Liahona, Thank you :)