My husband had a 63rd birthday yesterday. Our 35 yr old CD daughter was trying to make the day special for him. It was good to see her put time and energy into trying to make it special. Last birthday I turned 60 and was ignored. My husband and friends made it good but daughter was uninvolved. We decided to have the party at our daughters house. Usually we try to avoid her 42 year old boyfriend or he tries to avoid us. I knew with us being there he would be very uncomfortable to the point it would make all of us uncomfortable. We get there and awkward boyfriend shakes hands with my husband and tells him happy birthday and asks him how old he is, husband says 63. Awkward boyfriend has a hard time giving eye contact so no eye contact to both of us. For his birthday my husband wanted all of us to go to the gym and work out. Daughter, my husband and I go to the gym. We get back to daughters home and there are balloons, a cake and a gift from awkward boyfriend. He is not around of course because we stressed him too much. The balloons are regular balloons and one special balloon with Peppa pig. Who is Pegga pig? I google and find out it is a child cartoon character. The cake had a 56 on it, after my husband told him he was 63 and the gift was a large box of depends. My husband is a very gracious person and just told my daughter to tell him thank you. The boyfriend just does not sit right with both of us, I guess he was trying to celebrate in his own way but oh my God, he is 42 years old. I try so hard to look at the silver lining in all of this and the more I am around him the sicker my stomach feels. This guy is possibly our future son in law. My dad's parents had a very wicked off/on relationship. Highly toxic and destructive. Both died in their early 50s and left 10 kids behind. Could that gene that causes a person to set up a life of misery be inherited? How could an educated woman make such a bad choice on such a major part of her life. When we got home, I lit a candle for my deceased son and cried my eyes out. I know some of you will say 'well look at the bright side, he gave you gifts.' Well, why does it feel like a slap accross the face? I try everday to see the positive in everyone and everything.. I try hard.. I can not see anything positive or good coming from my wayward daughter and her wayward boyfriend. Cobwebs growing all over the inside of her home, just like a real haunted house. I cleaned the cobwebs and thought what a mess living in such a nice home. I know it is HER home, I have no idea why I feel I had to clean the cobwebs. Sometimes my emotions are much better when I don't see the mess she creates in such a nice home. When around my daughter and her boyfriend I feel empty, used, disapointed, stressed and grieved to the core. They are certainly not good for my health. 42 year old boyfriend lives with my daughter and when fighting with her lives with his mother and stays at his sisters home. 3 women covering all of his bills. What a catch! I know someone will write, well that is none of your business. It is my daughter so it is some of my business. Working on detatching, it is hard for me because I can have a good day with my daughter and then a horrible day..I know getting distance is the answer and I hold on to the bits and pieces of love she dishes out when not manic. Sometimes I feel as if she loves me deeply and other times she does not give a hoot. I celebrated my husbands birthday with my entire heart and was so grateful to God that he is with me and healthy. He is a good man, balanced and I am ever so grateful he is not CD..