I am in LA visiting my son and his wife, trying to hold on to some normalcy. First, when my plane landed I got a text from my step sister. My 92 y/o dad had to go back 5th time for bloody urine and same day my step mom admitted to hospital with masses all over her kidney. My dad and I were estranged for 30 years and reconnected 25 years ago. It is a different dynamic. Their ability to live independently is about to change. My 5 siblings,1/2 and step, were raised together. A bit of emotional stress to kick off my visit. Then day before yesterday May texts me. (May, alias, is my conduct disorder child. I unknowingly enabled her close to 20 years. She is highly manipulative). "Hey mom, would you be able to loan me some money if I send you the title to my car? I would rather pay you interest on a loan then a title max company. Please let me know. Thanks. " My last real interaction with her in late spring ended like this: Me "I feel you are lashing out because you are scared. I am scared for you. But, you dont get back with me. I am still waiting to hear what doctor said about your liver tests. What is this test?" May "You really NEVER cease to amaze me with your selfish ways. Really? Liver test or colonoscopy, endoscopy, fibroscan, lactose malabsorption test... You're so smart but thank GOD Aunt S has been there for me therefore if something very bad about comes up you will be informed and that's all I want is for you to be informed. Do NOT cry for me because you DO NOT deserve to cry. I love you. You're my mom. You should have been there for me and you never have been. Sad." I havent answered this last plea for money. My son, his wife, my sis, and my husband all say not to. They are sick of her wrath toward me. I have told her there will be no more money, that was in 2016. It's not going to change, unless she gets help and makes positive choices and then there will not be a hand to hand exchange. I dont want her to feel isolated, but I dont want to listen to her abuse either. I havent a clue how to respond.