My son is 8 and in the third grade. He has had a diagnosis of high functioning Autism (Aspergers) and ADHD since Kindergarden. Has a IQ of 130. He had a very good year last year with a male teacher and we were told that we could get one again. We prepared him all summer and then the first day we find up he has a new teacher and she is female. When we protested the school principle said that it was their decision and they would deal with the consequences. This year it really started to look like Anxiety was coming in with a vengeance. His private therapist agreed. We discussed that with the school at his IEP assessment in September. We made an appointment with a private psychiatrist to talk medication management. We could not get in until November 5th. Anxiety in school ratcheted up even more in the past 4 weeks. He began doing whatever he could to get sent home. The principal did not want to give in so she refused to call us. Once he even sat staring at her for two hours until he gave up and went back to class. His behaviors escalated and he started talking about school shootings and getting rid of everyone. He would ask to see the counselor and talk about being the only one left after a school shooting. After we explained to him that type of behavior would not help him get out of school he talked about wanting to hurt himself instead. He only spoke like this to school officials. At home and with him private therapist he would say he just wants out anyway he can do it. We we spoke to him at home about it and he said he just wanted to go home and hates his school. He says kids pick on him. Our district has an ED Cluster program and we were asked to consent to an assessment for that program. We told our son we would be moving him to a new school and the talk of guns and hurting himself stopped. We were then invited to an IEP meeting again this week to discuss moving him there. However once we attended the meeting they had an "assessment" done with everything he ever said since kindergarden with kill and die in it. The ones from before this year taken out of context. Like "if everyone else on the planet was dead would I still have to do it?" So they labeled him with everything. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), ODD, CD, Major depressive disorder, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), ther stuff. They started adding things like daily access to psychiatric care to his IEP and we were confused. Then they said we are sending your son to a non-public placement. Here is the one easiest to get into, we have a "good relationship" with this school and it goes up into 12 th grade. No they can't challenge your son academically but he's smart and can teach himself. No they don't really deal with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids but ED is his major concern anyway. Here sign this. We refused. I work in the mental health field and know how awful that particular school is. 10 to 1 teacher ratio and the kids are mostly physically violent ED types. (We send 8 year old drug addicts and kids who attack teachers there.) My son would become a psychotic mess with that sort of stress around him. He needs to feel safe. I called the placement specialist the next day and she kept asking if I would reconsider that school. I found and awesome one in Rockville that has a 1 to 3 ratio, is mostly kids with both Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and ED, with safety and support the #1 priority. It also only goes to 5th grade so reevaluation is a must. I called and they have openings. You just need to have a packet sent over and they do interviews to see if your kid is a fit and you will work with them. I'd like to try. The placement specialist said she would not just send out a packet for that school we needed to include the crappy one. I feel blind sided any haven't been able to sleep or eat since Wednesday worrying about this. Can they force us into a school if we do not feel it is a good fit? Why won't they let him try the ED cluster school? What would the edit steps be?