Camom, don't accept too much blame for yourself. We are all from different parts of the country and yet we find ourselves here.
in my humble opinion, society and world events have a large impact on parenting. I think if any woulda, coulda, shoulda, is out there, it would have been to not have listened to some of the psychobabble that was out there. But, even with that, in our particular situation, we were raising our family without any family around (therefore no modeling). We either learned parenting from health care providers, friends, and whatever basic instinct we had.
My mother said she was a nervous parent when my older sister and I was born. Her pediatrician said he wished all mom's could have their third child born first so they'd be more comfortable.
Sometimes I think if we hadn't have lived here, or we had stayed around older family members, or lived further out of town, or basically whatever, we wouldn't be in the situation we are in. Yet when I see all of us here dealing with the same things.....it can't be just me. There has had to be a larger influence as many of us have done the same thing.
Thank goodness for a place like this where we can reflect and gain strength and great ideas. :smile:
Sunny, I think you're right. I remember one book in particular that was my bible when my son was a newborn, infant, toddler. The writer advocated always allowing your toddler choices, i.e., never say a flat-out "no" unless there was danger involved. I am SO sorry that I listened to and followed that advice as it effectively taught MY son that EVERYTHING was negotiable. I remember my father admonishing me and my husband that we "talked to much" to our son--that we needed to set limits and not discuss them (this was when he was much younger, of course). I thought that was SO older generation of him! I so wish that we had listened to him. When I was growing up, my father only had to give me and my sister a look, and we complied, and he never had to raise his voice or use physical means. We just knew that he said what he meant and meant what he said.