Can you make me laugh?

[Mattsmom277]

My challenge is this: Make me laugh. I REALLY need something to lighten my mood and I haven't laughed in two days. Rare for me because laughter is a huge part of my day. S/O left me a hilariously dumb note for me to find when I woke this morning. A good start. But I need more. So i thought I'd ask here. Links to funny web posts? Jokes? Anything? anything???

 

[KTMom91]

A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"

A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"

He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!

Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.

He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"

The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"

 

[KTMom91]

You can change the team to dis whichever one is NOT your favorite...

RAIDERS football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. The Coach immediately suspended practice while police were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice was resumed after it was decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

 

[KTMom91]

‎"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

To which she replied "Probably that I married you for your money."

 

[1905]

Go to this website (google) damnyouautocorrect, the funniest "mistakes" EVER!!! You will laugh until you cry! At the top are links to other sites, The Worst Stuff Ever, When Parents Text, you'll see...you'll be laughing in no time! ((((hugs)))

 

[InsaneCdn]

Read Herman from the Sunday comics (this past weekend - here, "sunday" comics are the colored ones).
I can't find it on-line, but it was funny enough to make husband laugh - and he doesn't laugh very easily.

 

[DammitJanet]

Can you get of the America's Got Talent video's up there? If so, watch them. They can be hilarious. They had a comedian on last night that was absolutely spot on. Got Peirs badly!

 

[susiestar]

www.cakewrecks.com My family won't let me go to this site after dark because I laugh so hard I keep waking the kids and husband up!!!

Why do OU (Okla Univ) football players have TGIF written on the soles of all their shoes? Toes Go In First.

 

[CrazyinVA]

Well, the only jokes I know are dirty ones But here are two of my favorite funny websites:

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

And, of course, there's always:
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

(no offense intended to frequent Walmart shoppers... but man, some of these people should not be out in public)

 

[HaoZi]

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2011/05/making_it_crystal_clear_0509.php
And be sure to check out the funny photos section.

 

[mstang67chic]

Couldn't post it here but I sent you a message.