companions to explosive child book

[Allan-Matlem]

Hi,
I find the Myrna Shure series useful. There is a book for younger kids 4-7 yo and a workbook
She teaches the language kids need for problem solving.

Problem solving skills are best learned using non-emotive examples, fictitious stories, role play , when the kid is calm and this is fun.
By talking to your kid , using dialog questioning, you listening , just directing the conversation you are promoting the various cognitive skills.
Another book I enjoy is Alfie Kohn's Unconditional parenting which deals with the benefits in terms of moral development and child-parent relationship of a ' working with ' approach
SRL - thanks for the input ans insights on the previous Ex child thread
Yours Allan

 

[Allan-Matlem]

Ross greene says that a typical 3 yo has the language needed for problem solving.
He says he has dealt with 3yo who have better skills that 17 yo
Yours Allan

 

[tiredmommy]

Thanks!
I'm always looking for ways to become a more effective parent! :smile:
-TM

 

[SRL]

Thanks Alan. I'll take a look for it.

Is this written as a sanctioned companion to "The Explosive Child" for younger children or was this written independently? As you can see from the thread stuck at the top of this board, parents with younger kiddos often need help adapting TEC to a younger set. As was mentioned in the thread, a chapter or two at the end would be really helpful.

 

[helpmehelphim]

Per Allan's suggestion on another site I have read Raising a Thinking Preteen by Myrna Shure. It's the "I can Problem Solve" program for 8-12 yr. olds. It's really good. The communication techniques are really great and I especially appreciate the respectful qualities between parent and child. It's good stuff.

 

[Allan-Matlem]

Hi,
The books - Myrna Shure series , Alfie Kohn - unconditional parenting are recommended reading, a companion is my opinion.
In his book Treating Explosive kids , page 220 Ross Greene relates CPS to non-verbal kids. he believes that the linguistic skills of a 3 year old is enough to participate in plan/basket B
if a child is below this level we must train some basic linguistic skills - rudimentary feelings vocabulary, a vocab for expressing basic needs or frustrations, or use pictures to participate in basket/plan B
Plan B can be verbally modeled for very young children, whose receptive skills typically in advance of their expressive skills.
Inters tingly the language we need for problem solving, consequential and sequential thinking is based on words related to time , - not now , later - before , after - same time , different time
ways of doing - same way , a different way - description of feelings with understanding . A kid must be taught using examples - what is frustration etc.

Crucial is knowing the difference between a solution and a concern - see Beth's shoe example in the Myrna Shure link.
As far as solutions go, they often fall into 3 general categories
1 ask for help
2 Meet halfway , give a little
3 Do it a different way
Engaging in dialog , don't wait for problems , be proactive and discuss things in general as well ,promotes the skills needed - executive functions = planning etc use of foresight and hindsight , separation of effect = putting feelings on the shelf, language processing skills, social skills, cognitive flexibility= as opposed to black-white thinking and emotional regulation skills.
Yours Allan

 

[Allan-Matlem]

Hi,
An important point made by Ross Greene in the video is that a kid needs at least 30-40 problem solving experiences to start becoming proficient and comfortable with it
here is chapter from the book Treating explosive kids
http://www.guilford.com/excerpts/greene.pdf basket B/plan B is also limit setting , in many ways more effective because the kid internalizes what you are saying rather than just following a command

Yours Allan