So, we head back to court on Friday this week for the Fact Finding session. Son has not changed anything, in fact I think he's just gotten worse. I find myself grabbing onto the few and far between good moments, hoping that it's a sign that he's going to change, but then he just messes up again in the next moment. I really thought (and hoped) that we would have gotten some guidance and resources from this whole thing. I thought (and hoped) that my son would be scared into changing his ways. None of this happened. The court referred us for son to go to a once weekly program for at-risk kids, which just started last week. When we saw his probation officer, she really didn't have much to say except that she was referring us to DCF and to call them. DCF will then decide whether he stays with us or they take custody. This whole thing is a whirlwind. I don't know how to get the services I think my son needs. He's been so out of control, but is outplacing him with DCF going to help? Some days when he is at his worst, I think maybe it's what needs to happen. Other days, I think that it would be the worst thing to happen. I don't trust DCF to give him the services he needs and don't trust the programs they offer. You hear so much in the news about the bad side of DCF - children neglected, abused, lost in the system. I don't want that to happen. I don't know what I want to happen. I just want my son back and I don't know how. I don't understand why he doesn't care what happens. He is most likely going to be repeating 9th grade, and he could have saved himself pretty easily. He just chose not to. I just can't understand that, no matter how much I try. I don't understand why he continues to wreck his life with pot and destructive friends, knowing what could happen if he doesn't change. Again, it could have been so easy to at least make some changes, give a glimmer of hope that he was trying to do the right thing. Does he hate us and his life that much? Is it some underlying mental condition that we have missed that has made him this way and then the marijuana made it so much worse? I really feel like we have tried so much, but still have failed so badly. What else should I be doing????