daughter sent an inappropriate photo...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ksm, Mar 20, 2014.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Not sure what to do now. This happened several months ago but the proverbial stuff just hit the fan. daughter and boyfriend broke up, and a third party got his phone and sent it out. It must be making the rounds cause I was even told by someone last night when I was in walmart! At the time of the photo, daughter was 15. She turned 16 today.

    I don't think her boyfriend had anything to do with it -except for having the picture on his phone. If I notify the authorities, will daughter get in trouble also? The picture involved her breasts... She said he didn't ask for the photo... It was something she did on her own. Younger daughter in middle school has said about 20 people has asked her about the photo.

    Anyone else deal with this?? We have told the girls over and over about stuff like this. She didn't even have a phone from us. But he had given her an old phone to use. She lied to us and said it didn't have service, just for music and games.

    So tired of this, things had been pretty good for a while. Ksm
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, I can imagine how upsetting this is for the whole family. I doubt difficult child or her ex will get in trouble but the person that forwarded it may. I'd talk to the police and difficult child's principal or school disciplinarian. It could be considered disseminating child pornography due to her age.
  3. jugey

    jugey Active Member

    Really sorry you're having to deal with this! It's so sad that our young girls are giving in to this pressure to be sexy and share their bodies in this way! I haven't dealt with this issue but don't think your daughter will be in trouble. Whoever sent the picture might be though. I hope this experience has an "aha" effect on her and she learns to never do this again!

    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    It is just that on the news I have heard of teens being prosecuted for setting... And I am afraid to discuss it with anyone, because they might be a mandated reporter... Ksm
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I have no idea what to do, but I'm sending hugs.
    A friend of difficult child's did this once. All of a sudden one day, he asked me to drive him about 1/2 hr to a friend's house. I was overjoyed. She was one of the only "normal" friends he has!
    I can search the threads here if I can recall what my subject heading was, but it's somewhere here. The dad called, and then we asked difficult child to show us the pictures. Gulp. Luckily, just a top shot. No face. Afterward, we had a looooonggg talk with-difficult child about how these pics can circulate, and how he only went over there by invitation knowing what she was up to (he admitted it), and how her mom and dad were having conniption fits (husband will never forget the sound of the dad's voice over the phone--that's something that any dad would die over).
    To our knowledge, difficult child never saw her again.
    We have no idea if they ever went to counseling but we hope so.
  6. Confused

    Confused Guest

    I agree the friend should get in trouble. Thats the bad thing about electronics and cameras:( Im sure she realizes it was a mistake and she will never do it again. This is a lot for you daughter to have to go through and I just wanted to send my thoughts and hugs your way. Counseling as mentioned previous may help. I
  7. justour2boys

    justour2boys Momto2Boys

    The term is sexting, and yes all parties can get in trouble. There is a case here involving middle school kids and the parents, police, district attorney, schools and media all got involved. The kids were all under 18 and of both genders, so they all are in trouble.

    I'm sorry I don't have any advice as what specifically to do, just a hug.
  8. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

  9. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    My difficult child did this in middle school. Her boyfriend then sent the picture to another kid who showed it during the school day. The boyfriend and his friend got in trouble with school for distributing pornography and difficult child just got humiliated. Thankfully they were able to determine the friend and boyfriend had not distributed the picture to anyone else.

    We tried tough love. Stripped her door off her room and took out everything but the furniture. Took the phone. Gave her granny panties and bras, Walmart jeans, white t-shirts, and white Keds. She got a hoody because it was cooler.

    She didn't care about any of it except
    The phone and granny panties. Lol.

    On the other hand she didn't do it again!

    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    dstc, I'm so glad that worked. If my son were the texter instead of the textee, and we had done Old Man shorts for him, he would have not worn any underwear at all.
  11. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Terry I guess that would have been an option too! LOL

    At that point my goal was to teach her frills are earned and disrespecting yourself gets those frills taken away.