Day before discharge and they pull this...


New Member
Ugh. So M's discharge is tomorrow and he knows it. He also knows that he's being discharged and going directly to his new school which he was adamantly opposed to attending until his old schools' SW joined the team and suddenly he changed his tune. So, obviously today was going to be a difficult day for him.

So, M started raging bright and early this morning, refusing to get dressed for psychiatric hospital staff and saying he was tired and needed to take a nap. They told him he could take a nap, but I guess he kept chanting something like, "It's not fair!" ??? Sounds like typical M. Of course, he would refuse to elaborate on what exactly wasn't fair. He tore his room apart, hit his roommate in the head with his blanket, spent a little over an hour in the quiet room, got a PRN of benadryl, and here's where I get pissed...

They told him if he didn't pull it together, he gets cut off from visits for the day. :grrr:

First of all, the ENTIRE behavioral system on the unit is that they do not take things away from the kids...they start with nothing and they earn you're all of a sudden taking something away from my child. Second of all, he's obviously VERY anxious about his discharge tomorrow and the very last thing that is going to calm him down is a threat to take away his visitation. If anything, he needs his visit to help prepare him for discharge because it's the weekend and he has no connection to his regular staff (psychiatrist or SW) on the weekend to prep for discharge. Third, once M is stuck, no matter what your threat is, it makes no lick of difference while he's can't reason with him...THEY of all people should realise this. Oh, and during his last stay, I was specifically told they do NOT suspend visits! That they find visits very important and that unless there is an emergency situation on the unit that they do not take visits away!!!!

Ugh...I am just so frustrated with this. And after today, I am even more doubtful that tomorrow's discharge is going to go well. :frown: I'm not convinced we'll even make it out of the building...heck, I'm not convinced we'll make it off the unit. :frown:
What a crock!

That is undoing everything they did! I am so sorry. Hugs and prayers your way. It may not sound like much, but I really hope everything goes well tomorrow.


Active Member
Oh Alison............I am SO sorry!!!! I was so hoping that his rages would have taken a break by now........he and you both need a breather! I can only hope that these threats of no visits are the nonsense of the weekend staff, and tomorrow the doctors can intervene and set things back on course. I would be furious too.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow - and hoping for the best!

Sara PA

New Member
Yeah, that's the odd thing. They go into the hospital, get medical diagnoses, get prescribed a bunch of drugs, but when they lose it the staff seems it as one thing -- they have complete control over their behavior and can alter their behavior at will. And then staff make threats of punishment that are guarenteed to escalate the raging. Same old same old.


Alison, I'm so sorry. It sure doesn't sound as if the psychiatric hospital staff is handling M all that well. Sending positive thoughts that things will go better than you expect tomorrow.


oh gosh it must be "a day before discharge" thing, because my darling difficult child II had a similar day minus the threat of no visit.

My dilema is SW says difficult child II is great and sits through group better then the 17 y/o olds, but the staff sees the difficult child II I know.

Also the Viseral (anti-anxiety) they have prescribed "as needed", like once he goes into a rage, then he gets it. I am not understanding this, and it will be the 1st ? I ask 2morrow at meeting.

I will be praying for us 2night & thinking of you 2morrow Alison :warrior: remember we are women we are strong!


You know, if those that are supposed to know better can't manage to get it, how can we expect others to?!!

So sorry this happened, hon. Sending good thoughts for tomorrow...



New Member
I found that when my son was hospitalized the weekend staff was by far less professional and appeared to have had less training. It seemed at my son's hospital that the regular (maybe had been there longer and got the "better" shifts) week day staff were better equipped to handle my son's rages.

Obviously, I am new here and don't know your personality, so take this with a grain of salt: Please say something to who ever is your contact person about your concerns, spell it out exactly like you did here. They need to know. I know it is all about picking battles and choosing where it is most important for you to expend your energy, but this might be pretty important.

There was one staff who I only saw on the weekends that worked a total of one weekend with my son (two eight hour shifts). She was the most unprofessional person on the entire staff. My son does NOT do well with being told "NO" directly. This woman did not ease the negatives in on my son like I had noticed the other "Pediatric Mental Health Specialists" (example:"we'll have time for a video right after talk time. Can you tell me two things you can do to help yourself calm down?') There were several times she just blatantly told him, "NO. You can't!" "NO. You aren't doing that now!", etc etc etc. My son is a consumate button pusher and when she said NO, he dug his little heels in and demanded a good reason. Her reason, which might work fine with typical kids, was "Because I am the boss and I said, NO!". My son destroyed the day room right after that, threw chairs, over turned tables, dumped out huge bins of leggos, opened and scattered all the board games, tore up art work, threw paint on wall, stripped naked and screamed all manners of obscenities. He had wanted to watch a video and it was time to do "group". The other staff had cued in that somehow, the word "group" pissed him off so they called it "talk time". 5 minutes of "talk time" and then he would have had 30 minutes of video time. I left a voice mail for our Clinician that evening and was at her office the very next day at 9am to discuss my concerns. That weekend was the 2nd that my son was there and was by far the worst 2 days of both of his stays. She was crappy. .

The management should be clued in to what is going on on the weekends. Mine was the 3rd complaint in as many weeks for that gal. She was moved to another unit i.e. not working with kids with mental illness/behavior disorders.


New Member
It is extremely unfortunate that key staff members sometimes seem to have little or no training in how to actually de-escalate a situation instead of instigating one already in the start-up mode. Been there, done that.

Good luck today. I will be thinking of you and rattling beads.