Dealing with the fear

[InsaneCdn]

I hate that it comes down to my 10 year ODD kid questioning the ability of an adult to her job, but this monitor just doesn't understand the importance of the pen being there.

This doesn't change the situation any, but you could look at it differently.
Maybe this is the first step in Duckie learning to manage her own EpiPen?

My daughter, at 10, would definitely have been up to this, and might have even asked for the right to "check" and "refuse if necessary". DS, on the other hand... possibly still couldn't even if he had to (thank goodness, we don't), and he's in high school.

 

[tiredmommy]

There have been a series of missteps this year from the district on down:

She was assigned a new (untrained) monitor at the district level after notifying the school nurse and myself that she was assigned a seasoned (& epipen trained) monitor. This triggered...

The school nurse missing that there was a new monitor, so there was no training completed by the nurse. This was offset by Duckie's old monitor (now on another route) verbally telling the new monitor that she MUST get the epipen from Duckie's building and get with the nurse on "the plan". (I really miss Mrs. P!)

But... the new monitor says she went to the school office at the beginning of the school year and was told by someone that Duckie is self-directed. This is either a lie by the monitor or a substitute in the office made a huge mistake. Who knows. But... the monitor knew as October 4th that the pen must be on the bus. And (I think this is the real problem) the monitor was having trouble getting the pen with her schedule even though the former monitor had absolutely no trouble at all for the two prior years. So the answer was for me to provide another epipen set that the monitor would carry. But unfortunately...

There was the day a few weeks ago that the no one picked up the monitor's posted substitute job in the afternoon. The district person called my home and cell to find out if I wanted Duckie to ride the bus or if I would pick up. I didn't get either message because I was at WORK and she didn't bother calling down the list to my job or any of husband's contacts. The school office secretary, after watching the train wreck in progressed for most of the day, walked into the principal's office and told him the she was taking over because Duckie didn't have safe transport and it was a half hour until dismissal. So you'd think that everything would be covered by now, right? No!

The monitor needed another sub last week and never notified said sub about the pen. So I took Duckie off the bus and drove her in.

That's when I told the school office secretary that I no longer trusted the district to be able to keep Duckie safe by having the epipen that I provided available whenever she rides the bus, so I now need proof with every trip and needed that to be part of the emergency plan. The secretary agreed that it was a good option.

 

[tiredmommy]

I personally believe that Duckie could handle it, but her highly-qualified doctor does not sign off on elementary aged kids to be self-directed. Period. And I won't fight him on it since his name is on the RX pad and he's the one that faces the possibility of a lawsuit if something were to go wrong. He doesn't tell me how to parent, and I don't tell him how to doctor. It works for us.

 

[InsaneCdn]

{{hugs}}

 

[timer lady]

TM, I'm a bit late to this thread so forgive me.

My mother watched my sister slowly die from a most debilitating disease & she died at the tender age of 4. My sister lost her daughter at the tender age of 4 as well. Suffice it to say, my family was in a bit of a panic when each of the nieces & nephews hit 4. Pediatricians were gracious regarding the fears surrounding each of us. And in our silly belief, 5 was the age of survival.

Ducky has a wonderful mom. A mom who handles each crisis with grace (whether you know it or not), knowledge & dignity. There are no guarantees in life. However, because of you, Ducky has better odds than any child I know that is medically fragile.

 

[tiredmommy]

{{{Linda}}}

It's life-changing for everyone when a child dies. My extended family went through that when I was first pregnant with-Duckie but it was sudden: my cousin's baby boy came down with a severe bacterial meningitis infection and was dead withing 36 hours. Truly, the family will never be the same. Bad things happen to good people all the time.

As for the age of five being seen as the age of survival... I don't think that is so uncommon. My father once told me that prior to the medical miracles of antibiotics and vaccinations, it wasn't uncommon for children to go unnamed until after their third birthday since so many died of conditions and illnesses that are now easily treatable. My cousin's son died at 1 year, 8 days old. He was my aunt's second grandchild. She told me that she worried incessantly about each of the subsequent children born into the family until after 1 year, 9 days.