I'm having trouble with ss J and his attitude. The couple of times he's lived with us before it always comes to this. I think it probably is depression. Like his father, my husband, he withdrawls when unhappy and if you confront him, even in a kind and non abrasive way, he'll deny anything is wrong and act like you're the problem. He is filled with anger and resentment and the only way to survive it is to detach which is basically to ignore. That is so uncomfortable for me. I guess in a way it's good that he seldom comes up from the dungeon. He is a difficult child and was doing drugs and alcohol since a teen but I don't see any of that going on now. He doesn't seem high or intoxicated but I guess it's possible. I know he needs counseling but if I suggest it he'll resent it and then I will really start to become the enemy in his eyes. Manster wont' go down to the basement, it's always been a scary place, even now. They barely connect but with manster it takes somone with patience and J just doesn't have that. It's hard living with someone who is angry and unapproachable all the time. I think I need to start going back to meetings regularly to help deal with this. I just feel like it's my fault which is a key my codependence is kicking up. I think he resents that his father remarried which is understandable. I know it's not me in particular and that he would resent whoever he married. Doesn't make it any easier and there's nothing I can do about it, he'll have to work through his demons. I really do wish he would go to counseling.