difficult child and normalcy

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by everywoman, Dec 20, 2008.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    difficult child spent the ages of 15-19 in and out of hospitals, jail, and out of the house for various reasons. In the last 6 months he has made some really positive changes. He is now working---close to fulltime. He just finished a stint of 17 days straight.

    He has a employee Christmas party tomorrow. He has to carry a $10 exchange gift and an appetizer. He asked me to pick up stuff to fix sausage dip. He also wanted me to pick up something for his bosses. He said that all he knows is they are Florida Gator fans and like to drink wine. While out this morning, I ran across a deal on wine glasses etched with initials. I called to find out their last names. He was waiting when I got home to inspect them.

    It's nice to see him enjoying some normalcy in his life. The crowd he ran with for years didn't do things like Christmas gatherings---at least not one that didn't include drugs.

    He is finally growing up,
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You must be very proud! It's stories like these that give me hope! I was just thinking yesterday that several members here have seen a lot of maturing in their difficult child's this past year and I think all of you should be proud and pat yourselves on the back for a job well-done. It probably wouldn't hurt to give a pat on the back of the difficult child, too!!

    Really, when we are talking about 17 to 22 yo's getting it together and showing responsibility, motivation, hard work, etc, it sounds even better than a lot of easy child's to me!
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    That's the second good story I heard tonight. I love to hear the good stuff, and klmno's right it gives us hope. So, thank you for taking the time to share a positive. :)

    You must be happy for him to see him experiencing something new and positive in his life. I hope he has a great time. Enjoy this moment. i hope there are a ton more of them
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    What a nice thing to celebrate! I'm so happy for you and difficult child. Thanks for sharing that with us~
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Now if he could just find a nice girl!!!
    I know, one thing at a time.
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Shoot EW- I'll be happy if my difficult child gets a full time job and shows up. I'm not even banking on him getting invited to the party at this point.
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm so happy to read this - for you and for difficult child.
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Please KLMNO---remember my difficult child is now 20. It took years of tough love and detachment and patience and hard work to get to this point. He lost numerous jobs over the years for not showing up. He didn't work at any place for more than 1 month for 3 years. He didn't work at all most of the time.

    I am tickled at how excited he is about a work christmas party. He is really excited. And he doesn't get excited about anything. He is not anxious. He is showing very few signs of depression or mania. The issues are few and far between. And it's nice--peaceful in my home for the first time in years.

    Okay, gotta go. I'm almost weepy. Gotta go get easy child from ex's.
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm very happy for all of you!! I'm sure this didn't come easy for you or him!

    Just curious (when you have time) what medications -if any- is he taking now? My difficult child is already taking a handful a day- I'm wondering if more just keeps getting added or does the day ever come when the medications change to a different combination so it's still no more in quantity- or does all that just depend on the person?
  10. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    My difficult child is not taking anything right now. His dxs are depression, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and CD. He also has IBS. He takes no pharmaceuticals. We went through the rounds with medications from 5 until he was 18. He was always medication compliant. They never really changed his behavior. He took everything from ritalin to depokote to respiridone and every anti-depressant known to man. At 18 he went to a rehab that required he be medication free. He hasn't taken anything since.

    He is still, by choice, a pot smoker. I do not condone his use. He is not supposed to bring it in my home. But, I know and he knows that he is self-medicating.

    He still has his moments. He broke a few things in his room several weeks ago. His worst time is morning. He has a hard time getting up and sometimes will rage when he first gets up. But...that has been leveling off and he is able to self-calm much easier than before. His anxiety has lessened in the past few months.

    But today, on most days he is happy and content with his life. He is nicer to his sister who he emotionally abused for years. He is great with kids. He helps out around here without expecting anything in return.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Wow- he really has come a long way! Thanks for letting me know...I have no idea what IBS is though...
  12. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    IBS = Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
  13. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh- got it! Thanks!
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    What a terrific update. :D I'm so happy for both you and difficult child. And I'm sure you're proud as can be of the progress he's made. Keeping fingers crossed that he keeps moving forward and discovering life sober is worth it.

    As for the pot.....well, one thing at a time. He might get ready to tackle that one after getting past a few more difficult child issues and tucking some more maturity under his belt.

  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I love reading updates like these. Thank you for sharing this.
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh, how WONDERFUL!!! How exciting for you!!! When my daughter, who'd done drugs from age 12-19, suddenly started trying to fit in with normal people, I used to cry with every step she took and you brought back good memories. Tears in my eyes for you and your brave son (this is a very hard journey he is on). I'm so happy for your entire family!