difficult child has opted for starting therapy

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by SuZir, Aug 13, 2012.

  1. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Matter of therapy has been up in the air during the summer after he was diagnosed with PTSD. His psychiatrist recommended therapy as a primary treatment and while she is still to make her formal assessment and recommendation on the late September (local guidelines for public funding for psychotherapy require some hoop jumping) difficult child was having a deadline to decide about it now if he wish to start this fall. He has been receiving counselling/therapy during the summer, but main goal in that has been on him deciding if he wants to pledge to longer, intensive therapy and on the other hand for the psychiatrist to decide if she thinks he is a good candidate for therapy. So next he will be hunting a therapist. He has appointments to meet and greet two different therapists in his area who has experience with PTSD patients and are able to take new patients from the start of September. So please keep fingers crossed he would like either of them and that either (or preferably both or the same one he likes more) of them would accept him to be their patient. Another of them is specialised trauma therapist and uses also EMDR. Other one is less specialised CBT therapist who has experience with patients with PTSD. Both should be fine choices but of course it really matters how he clicks with them.

    I do like his decision. To be honest, it is something I think he needs. He has issues and he has some very bad coping mechanism to deal with them. And while he has done quite well during the summer, or let's say that he has had a good year, and he has matured and I have seen many positive changes, I do believe his issues have not been only about his lack of maturity. And of course I'm also not so hopeful that his upward trend would just continue, but expect some rougher times to hit sooner or later. And of course taking a proactive step and opting for therapy is part of his upward trend. Mature, responsible and smart decision. So hurrah for that.

    Then there is of course a little thing called money. :sigh: Financial side of this is still very much in the air. Depending the therapist he will choose costs will be either around 1000 dollars a month or 1300 dollars. He will be paying around 100 dollars of it himself (it's something therapists demand, they want that the patient always has their own skin in the game too) and if the public funding comes through, it will cover the rest. Except the first month, because difficult child will be starting before all those hoops that I mentioned have been jumped. But if he wouldn't start in September, he would likely be able to start at earliest next January, if then (therapist usually only have times for new intensive therapy patients in September and January around here.) If he isn't accepted for public funding (i.e. if he is considered to be too healthy) there is still a chance his private insurance will accept him (but they can also decide he is too high-functioning to need therapy.) His psychiatrist is optimistic that he will qualify for public funding, I tend to be more pessimistic. His team has promised to help to finance this, but whatever that really means will be seen. We have promised difficult child that we will pay it, if needed. And it is doable, we have some extra money in our budget after we have gotten rid of most of our kids' sport expenses (also most of easy child's expenses will be covered by the team, that saves us a lot.) But of course we do have plans for the money. husband wants to replace his car and I have been planning a kitchen renovation for some time. So I'm really hoping that the other financing options will come through. So if you please could cross fingers from your other hand for my new kitchen happening ;)
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    fingers crossed that you will be getting your new kitchen;)
  3. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

  4. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Thank you for rooting for me getting a new kitchen! I appreciate that. Of course husband could be right and while kitchen now looks seriously outdated, in few more years it would probably be trendy again. That happens when you stick with something long enough, sooner or later it will be hip again :bigsmile:

    Seriously, I just hope that difficult child would click with either of the therapist. What I have read the relationship between the patient and the therapist seems to be key factor in success of therapy, not so much which school of thought the therapist represents. Of course therapy will be one more strenuous task in difficult child's already full plate so I should probably prepare myself to very rocky road ahead with him. With his sport (which is full time job with his pro team and with the double duty with junior program will mean he has very few days free in next half a year), trying to learn to be a better team mate, school finals (preparation for them is usually a full time job too, finals cover everything they have learned in the past twelve years, so it is huge area to reread) and learning to live independently and navigate his first real, 'adult' romantic relationship, he certainly has his plate more than full even without the work and commitment therapy will require.
  5. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    difficult child did meet other of the therapists, will be meeting another at Monday. He didn't like the first one. Too 'mushy', whatever he means by that, I don't know. Oh, and he is either miffed with me because of the row he had with husband or he decided to be really obnoxious for other reasons. Anyway it seems that my summer break from PITA son has ended. He also thought that this first therapist wasn't too bright and he doesn't want to deal with the therapist who is so much stupider than he is. Lovely! :2dissapointed:

    It seems also like his honeymoon with the new zero tolerance behaviour code his coaches are putting him through has ended. Knowing him he will make his life very unpleasant for himself before he learns, if he ever does. And with these rules it is very easy for him to make his life very tough. And I think school is also causing him some anxiety. He will have his practise finals next week. After those he will get feedback about what he should still work on and then he has some time to study before the real thing. He is expected to do well, but I think his perfectionism issues are raising their ugly head :sigh:

    I just hop he would click better with the other therapist.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hoping the public funding comes thru! A new kitchen is the least you deserve .....