difficult child is having a hard time with jealousy

[shellyd67]

difficult child is having such a difficult time with being jealous of some friends. You see, difficult child has a friend close by that has another friend over for sleepovers and difficult child is not included. The kid spends days at the friends house and difficult child boils over it. I overheard him telling another friend that the kids parents don't care about him because they let him stay for a week at a time. We know all parents involved and they are nice people and what they do is none of our concern. I asked difficult child, easy child, and difficult child friend to come in the house and explained that I overheard what they were saying. difficult child was stunned and looked as though he was going to cry. I explained that they do things a different way and that we make different choices. Neither of us is wrong just different. He just finds it strange that the kids parents don't miss him. difficult child has many friends but still cannot deal with be excluded. We do allow him sleepovers and vice versa. I just wish he could understand and deal with things a little better. His mood was crappy today even though he had another friend here all day.

 

[ML]

Aw, that's a tough one. Our kids are so sensitive and it does hurt to not be included. It's a balance of honoring your son's feelings, validating that he is entitled to them, and trying to help him deal with them in a positive way. Does your difficult child have other friends? Perhaps teaching him that having several friends available to him so that if one is busy, he can call upon another is a way to go?

For some reason manster is ok with this in his friends, probably because his desire to engage with them is intermittent anyway lol. But if I compliment any of his friends he takes it as a personal affront. If I say "gosh, F, you are so smart" I will almost immediately see the pout and know what I've done lol. Part of that is onlyitis.

 

[CactusK]

My son age8 has a hard time finding playdates in the neighborhood as the other boys his age are so busy. If his little sis has one and he doesn't he has a fit. His best friend moved 14 months ago- they were together almost daily for 3 years- and this was huge loss for him.

We do have one friend we trade sleepovers with, and both boys love it.

My kids, and our family as a whole, are not included in a lot of neighborhood gatherings and that hurts me too. My next door neighbors kids were heard in public saying they were told not to play with my son or the boy who moved (Nancy's son) Nancy heard this and gave the mom a piece of her mind.

 

[Wiped Out]

I'm sorry I know how hard it is. My difficult child struggles greatly with friendships and it is difficult to watch.