difficult child seems "spaced out"

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by JKF, Jan 9, 2013.

  1. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Literally! He's on Facebook and posting about UFO's and parallel universes. I mean he's always been fascinated by that stuff and that's all fine and good but I think he's becoming obsessed. I've noticed the last few times I've talked to him that he seems "weird". Talking in pirate and stuff like that. I know young adults like to joke around with stuff like that but sometimes he takes it to another level and it scares me.

    He had an assessment for mental health help on Monday so I hope that pans out. He needs to be on medications and needs some activities to keep him busy and out of trouble. His next court date is on February 12th and I'm hoping that the mental health liaison is able to get him some help and maybe some housing between now and then. I'm a little nervous because the girl who he originally went out of state with is now homeless there as well so I'm scared that he's going to do something stupid and impulsive like....oh I don't know....take off with her somewhere??? Uggggh!

    I gave him advice and said think before you act. Don't do anything stupid or impulsive. That's all I can do. I'm not getting all caught up in this again. I've done a good job at detaching and am more "me" than I've been in a very long time and I'm not taking a step back! Just scary to think of all the bad stuff that 'might' happen.
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2013
  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    That does sound troubling. The way I see it, everything is cumulative. So wacky FB posts and talking like a pirate from a typical teen is just attention-seeking behavior most of the time. But it may not bode well for a difficult child with- other significant issues taken into account. IME, telling them not to be impulsive and to think before they act would make me feel better, but it has absolutely no effect on a difficult child. They hear, "blah, blah, blah." In one ear and out the other.
    I hope he does get help and the proper medications, or else this will just progress. You are doing so great so far - hang in there.
  3. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Thank you CJ! There's definitely something more to his behavior than typical teen stuff. He's manic - I can tell - and that scares me!

    I agree that telling him to think, etc is more for ME. I was messaging with him on FB and he wrote back - "THINK before I ACT? No can do." Ummmm ok. So at that point I moved onto another topic. I'm not going to nag him. I said what I had to say - gave my advice - and moved on. The rest is up to him.
  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    You are doing great. Here is hoping he gets and takes advantage of any help available. -RM
  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You're doing great, making another step along the road of detachment. It's difficult to see/hear them act in ways that are disturbing to us, however, there really is nothing else you can do and worrying makes us crazy, so you stepping back and being able to see the big picture is just terrific. I was just talking to my therapist about this and she mentioned that recovery for codependency/enabling is when you see how you can step in but you use the tools you have to step away............. the feelings may still be there, the worry, the doubts, but we don't act, we don't enable them. As time goes by that gets easier, however, I think in the case of our kids, as mothers, we always have a bump when we can see or feel that they may do something impulsive or dangerous or to simply make yet another bad choice. It's knowing, like you are really getting, that there is nothing we can do. Sigh. As you said, "the rest is up to him." Good job!