difficult child suspended

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Dec 4, 2009.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    on Monday.

    He hit the other behavior challenged girl in the room today. He'd just had enough.

    I don't condone his behavior, but this girl is as bad, if not worse, than difficult child, with no interventions. I've wondered from the start why they are in the same room. this is the girl his teacher was talking about at parent teacher conferences when she praised him for ignoring the constant barrage brought on by her. The girl targets him.

    The school is looking to move her to a different classroom.

    But the thing that ticks me off about this...the principal called to tell me and he said "I don't mean to pass the buck, but I just don't know what Pretty Boy was thinking when he made this decision and insisted on sticking by it."

    Pretty Boy put the 2 worst behavior disordered kids in the whole second grade in the same room.

    I'm guessing he thought wee difficult child wouldn't be there much, so it would be a free aid to help the teacher with the other girl. Whatever he was thinking, it wasn't for the success of TWO kids. Of that, I'm certain.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hope they find a place for the girl before difficult child gets back on Tuesday. Not fair that they are in the same class together. :(
  3. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Sorry that happened. How frustrating. I hope they are able to make some changes and get the poor girl her own aid!

  4. ML

    ML Guest

    I hope they can work it out to make sure everyone is safe. I'm sorry this happened, Shari. At least it *is* Friday!
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Why hasn't the school tested the girl and gotten supports for her, and her own aide? I would be furious if my child was suspended because he lost it when another student wouldn't leave him alone after weeks or months of unprovoked targetting. This is bullying, plain and simple.

    The other girl is bullying weegfg. He has done all he could. He can clearly SEE that the adults will NOT help him with her. They won't separate them, they won't make her stop, and now HE gets punished for standing up to her?

    First I would take him out for ice cream and a new toy. I am NOT joking. I know hitting is "bad" but sometimes you simply MUST stand up for yourself. Especially if you can see that the people "in charge" refuse to handle the situation. And that is what is happening. Pretty Boy isn't there. The NEW principal can move the girl and could have done so at any time. He could also insist she get supports like an aide. I really hope you contact an education attorney about THIS.

    Weegfg first was victimized by the school. They used his supports to terrorize him by locking him in a closet and punishing him for crying. They were outright MEAN to him verbally, refused to do what he needed, and now that they are doing more of what he needs and less of what he doesn't, they are permitting this other child to torture him? THAT is what he perceives. I would bet my house on it. He might not admit out loud that it feels this way, but he does.

    I would tell the school to back their truck up and go dump the dung on their own lawn, not on difficult child. HE should not be punished. NOT when the people in charge KNOW she is making him her target.

    This chaps my hide!
  6. tictoc

    tictoc New Member

    Yep, ice cream and a new toy. Poor kid. I, too, don't approve of hitting, but, really, what was he supposed to do??? And, I totally agree with your theory: The school thought they were going to use his aide for the girl and never thought through the effects of two difficult children in one class.

    Sometimes throwing a fit at the SD isn't worth the psychological energy it takes...That is for you to decide, of course, but this is a case where I might just pull out my daggers and have the fit. And, no question about fit throwing if the girl isn't out of the class by Tuesday.

    Do you know much about the girl? Any contact with her parents? I wonder why the school hasn't sought an aide for her yet.

    Here's hoping you have a nice weekend.
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I wouldn't be giving weegfg ice cream (it confuses the kid0 but I would be refusing to accept the suspension as such. I would aks them to considr it as placing difficult child somewherre safe while they consider what to do about tis girl who is bullying him.

    He responded to her harassment. Ofcourse his behaviourwas unacceptable, but it wouldnt happen if the school could suprevise more effectively and prevent this.

    I suspect Pretty Boy put them i nthe same class for two reasons:

    1) as you suggested, he didn't expect there to be a lot of contact; and

    2) what contact there was, he figured would trigger weegfg off and give Pretty Boy more leverage to get rid of him.

    As the school - what is the aim of suspension? What are they trying to achieve? And in this case, will it achieve it? Also, is it punishing the cause of the problem or simply making a scapegoat of a kid who has been pushed Occupational Therapist (OT) his limits?

  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sigh. I guess the prinicipal is at least trying. Not doing much, though.
    I'm so sorry.
  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    The advocate was about to close our case; I'm calling her and asking her to sit on it. This may well affect his full days.

    I agree with you all. As does the school staff. They suggested moving the girl, so I am going to give them today to figure out how to seperate the 2. I will see what they come back to me with.

    I have not told wee difficult child that he is suspended. I told him I'm keeping him home so the teachers can talk and figure out how to handle him and the other little girl. I'm trying to make it absolutely neutral. Normally we would do school work, but we're not today. I'm just making it as much a "non-issue" as I can.

    I don't know much about the little girl. She lives on the same street as easy child 1's girlfriend. She's sweet to them, but has no boundaries. They have a fenced in back yard with a pool and they've walked outside to find her in the pool more than once. Not sure if she lives with mom or grandma. If that's mom, she's very...um...mature. I'd say its grandma. She doesn't seem to have any accomodations in the classroom and last year, when I was a daily presence in the SpEd room, she was never in there. She is on the SpEd director's radar, tho, as SpEd director has inquired about this situation in the past (unbeknownst to me until now).

    Thanks for the input.

    Oh, and one last caveat...wee difficult child called me on Wednesday morning in tears. He kept saying he just couldn't do it, it was the same thing every day and he hated it. I finally got out of him that this girl got stickers on her sticker chart and he didn't, and another child at the table was in charge of handing out the stickers and wouldn't always give them to him. I took it at face value, and shouldn't have. It wasn't about the stickers, it was about this girl, the stickers were just the only example he could give me. Lesson learned.
  10. tictoc

    tictoc New Member

    Was wondering about you guys this morning. I think your explanation to
    Wee is good. He'll know that you are working on the situation.

    I see how this might affect full days...If the girl doesn't get moved, what can you do?

    I feel bad for the girl, too. The school needs to do something for her. She certainly should not have been placed in Wee's class. Wasn't good for him and probably wasn't the best placement for her.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Aw, that's so sad.
    I would have thought the same thing about the stickers.
    Makes sense now, though.
    I'm hoping the Powers That Be can hurry things along and get those kids separated, pronto!
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Shari ~ hope school gets this entire situation sorted out not only for difficult child but for this other student.

    Sometimes it just doesn't work to have 2 highly involved kids in one classroom. Because of the placement of these 2 together is there a para in the room as well?

    I cannot remember ~ is difficult child in Special Education room; a contained setting?
  13. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Wee difficult child has a full-time 1:1 para and he requires a full time para, but there is not a second helper in the room beyond the "floater" who spends about an hour a day in each of the second grade classrooms.

    Based on comments by the new principal and others, the previous principal most likely put these two in the same room because wee difficult child has a para, thinking he could kill 2 birds with 1 stone. As poorly as wee difficult child did last year, I can't imagine he thought 1 para could actually handle the two kids; 1 para last year couldn't handle difficult child alone, let alone add a second kid.

    difficult child is currently in the mainstream classroom 3 hours a day, plus lunch and recess. He is in the sped classroom 2 hours. As much as I want him in the mainstream classroom, no learning takes place there for him, so we have talked about putting him in the sped room for a larger portion of the day. It just takes everything he's got to hold it together in the mainstream room; there's no energy left for learning while he's there.

    I spoke briefly to the principal this morning. He talked with some staff yesterday and is planning to meet with difficult child's mainstream teacher today. I hope they come up with something.