difficult child's therapy appointment - probably a waste of time...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ksm, Dec 8, 2011.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    and that was from the therapist! Well, not word for word, but basically difficult child isn't going to get any thing out of therapy if she is not open to change or even feels that she has a problem. She said they have had just one session that she thought difficult child was open and receptive. I don't think today was that appointment. Took difficult child back to school and on the way there I asked one question about a homework assignment and I got yelled at "I DON"T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! CAN'T YOU JUST TRUST ME! I tried to explain that I need to see some results for the trust part...

    I am beginning to hate being home when she is here. KSM
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    ugg, that was not a very professional way to say it, even if not word for word. Probably should actually have a meeting and make some decisions or a plan. gosh, What would difficult child say if you presented it to her? is she finding anything useful in the process?
  3. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    difficult child doesn't think she has a problem. In fact she has said her only problem is us, "thinking" she has a problem. When she gets home from school, I will go do my grocery shopping, then pick up little sis from after school choir practice.

    She actually thinks all this drama is normal. KSM
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Group therapy.

    Instead of a rapport with one therapist, you have a group of teens butting heads.
    When it works - not always - the positive peer pressure can accomplish what no adult can.
  5. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I will ask the therapist... I don't think she has any groups. She used to work full time for the local mental health place, but went in to a private practice sitting with one other person. She works part time seeing clients, and does some kind of "grant" work with the rest of her time. I really do appreciate her honesty... she said that BEFORE the session. After the session I am sure she would have said it was a total waste of time.

    After the session on the way back to school, difficult child says... (as if she is proud!) "It took all I could do to sit there and not just get up and walk out. All she wanted to talk about was home work. People just need to get off my case, I said I was working on it." (Currently failing Literature, English, Math and Social Studies... and a low C in Science) KSM
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I might be looking at this the wrong way, but I almost think that the therapist was being brutally honest with you. And I think that she's right. If difficult child is not open to what a therapist has to offer or, or if she is not even willing to admit that she has a problem, no amount of therapy sessions is going to help her. She is being resistant because she doesn't want to believe that the problem lies with her. Again, I think that's typical difficult child thinking. The problem lies in everyone else and if everyone else changes to suit the needs of the difficult child then all would be right in difficult child world.

    One day I would really like to visit difficult child world. It must be a marvelous place to be.

    I realize that it's not what you want to hear. I know that I would not be happy to hear that difficult child is unwilling to try to make things better. The question is what do you do now?
  7. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Bunny, you hit the nail on the head. I do think the therapist was being honest. I know that things will probably hit rock bottom before difficult child has any incentive to change. But "my rock bottom" and "her rock bottom" are probably worlds apart. You are right... difficult child world must be a wonderful place to live. KSM