Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by everywoman, Jan 14, 2011.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    My difficult child is not talking to me or rather I'm not talking to him. It all started when I tried to get my Christmas decorations from the house. He got mad because I asked him to get them from the attic and place them in the garage so I could pick them up. He was "busy"---even though he doesn't have a job and does nothing all day long. He then said that his dad gets mad if he lets me have anything out of the house. He said some really horrible things to me. Since then I found out that my Wii is missing from the house---I should have gotten it sooner---but I just got a tv and now I can use it---but it's gone. So we had an argument about that. He again said some horrible things to me and about me to his dad. He told me he didn't have a mom anymore. So, I haven't spoken to him since before Christmas. It is actually a relief because even though he has text me a couple of time wanting money, and a few nice text telling me he loves and misses me. I haven't had to listen to him complain about how horrible his life is===i love him but he just hoovers the life out of me and it's nice to have a break. Which of course makes me feel really quilty.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. The way he acts is just wrong. Is he not owrking or in college? I guess his dad is fine with it? Can you file a theft report with the police for the Wii? As you don't live there, is there a time you or your lawyer can work out so that you can get your holiday stuff, and wii games and anything else left there? I am wondering if he pawned your wii or sold it or just has it in his room and is saying it is gone because he is mad at you? If the time was worked out then you can file theft reports for whatever isn't there, and have a third party or the cops or your lawyer there to keep the peace and keep them from filing theft charges on you. does that make sense? i am sorry it has come down to this.

    It is fine to take a break when the relationship gets toxic. Or to just text now and then. Do you think the "don't have mom' stuff is because you won't support what he is doing an give money or because he truly misses you or he just wants to whine?

  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry. Our difficult child's can be terribly toxic. Glad you are enjoying the break. Try to go with the flow and forget the guilt. You've done everything you could do. Hugs. DDD
  5. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    :( I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like difficult child is just mad at the world... if I had a dollar for every time Oldest said she was "done with the family" and that I'm not her mother (is it sad that I got to the point where that made me laugh, I heard it so often?) Staying away is the best thing for now, I agree. Take some time to take care of yourself and grow stronger. I hope you can get your stuff back somehow.
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Just sending hugs.
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Yours and mine are mirroring paths right now. It does hoover.
  9. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I am so sorry. Sending many hugs (and a nice bottle of wine)!
  10. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I hear the "I'm busy" line too. I want to shake him until his teeth rattle just to get his attention and put him on planet earth. Funny how he doesn't like it if I tell him I'm busy to listen to him whine on the phone about how no one wants to do anything. Sigh. Life is so tough on them isn't it. He is, at this time, learning new things and keeping up with his apt. (with some cuing from my sister. TG)
    I'm sorry he is being hurtful. Divorce is so disruptive that kids seem to use it as a weapon. Add difficult child to that and it's no shock to hear him being hurtful to you.
    Hang in there.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im sorry EW. Seems maybe ExH has difficult child wrapped. Doesnt really surprise me too much. Very hurtful to you though. Eventually he will come to his senses I am sure. They always seem to do so. However, I wonder if there comes a time when we get sick of being there when decide to come to their senses? Im having a good think on that one myself lately.
  12. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

  13. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    I get the 'not today, I'm busy' line too. Even though difficult child 1 doesn't work and in fact just qualified for SSI, at a hearing that I drove him to in a nearby city. I'm really sorry. {{{hugs}}}
  14. Aurora1112

    Aurora1112 New Member

    Hi I'm new here and don't have a clue what difficult child stands for. However, I can relate to the "not today" comment.

  15. Bean

    Bean Member

    "Gift From God" - usually signifies your more challenging child. - Welcome to the forum!!!

    That is unfortunate. My daughter goes through similar times. They usually don't last as long, but she's contemplating a "break" from me right now. To "get her life together" - reading between the lines it means to me that she's plummeting again. Sigh.