Distress Call

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Apr 4, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I just got a destress call from mother in law. She was very upset. I'm more than a little confused as to what it's about. But she wants to move immediately, today, right now. Said something about them being mean to her and she just can't take it anymore.

    And she wants me to come down there and ream them one.

    This is out of character for mother in law. Something must be wrong. I need to contact the assisted living and see if we can possibly get her in there today. But I still have to run for supplies for it too.:ashamed:

    Keep me in your thoughts. husband is coming along to keep me out of jail. His usual role.

    What a way to wake up in the morning.
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Good Luck, DaisyLover--

    Approach this with caution....on ALL sides. There is a lot of abuse that goes on in these sorts of facilities. At the same time, there are a lot of wonderful, caring people working at these facilities that get un-necessarily accused of wrong-doing because the residents misunderstand what is happening around them.

    I have volunteered at Assisted Living Facilities....and I have seen residents get angry and feel threatened over minor things.

    One day it was extremely hot...well over ninety degrees with high humidity. A resident wanted to go outside and sit in the sun--but she refused to take off her winter coat and sweater. Obviously, the woman could have easily succumbed to heat-stroke....but my efforts to get her to remove all the extra layers of clothing resulted in screaming and complaints that I was "attacking" her and being "mean".

    Go with caution....

  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry you are starting the day this way. I hope it is just a misunderstanding and it can be worked out easily. If not, I hope that the ALF can get her in today and you can get husband to help you do this with minimum struggles.

    Sending prayers that mother in law has not been hurt in any way and is not going downhill.

    Glad husband is going along to bail you out if bail is needed. Let us know what is going on when you can.

  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, got info from both sides. mother in law didn't want to make trouble or get her aide fired. But seems it is a personality issue, and aide tends to force mother in law into doing things she doesn't want to do. This is the only aide mother in law has ever had issue with, and while mother in law says that this aide is a good worker......it's the bullying that got to her.

    That and she was woken up to sit dressed only in her thin nightgown in her wheelchair to wait forever to take a bath and was both in pain and freezing......then waited forever to go to the bathroom as well. Just got to be too much for her with the pain and cold and mother in law blew her stack.

    mother in law complained to the RN who let her call me. I then spoke to the RN who is also Head Nurse when we got the low down. RN is one of mother in law's fav's, and a very caring person who genuinely likes what she's doing and cares about her patients. RN will be filing a formal complaint and will be speaking to the aide at the end of her shift about her attitude. (end of the shift so there is no backlash for mother in law)

    mother in law will be moving at 10am tomorrow. No way to get her in early at assisted living due to medications.

    So, taken care of and I didn't even have to raise my voice. DaisyF I know how nursing homes work......spent many years working in them. Which is why I made sure I got the lowdown before going off.

  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Didn't mean to imply that you had no knowledge of nursing homes. I was just afraid you were gonna go in with "both barrels a blazin'..."

    Hopefully, things will get better for your mother in law and she will be assigned a more sensitive aide....

  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    It's ok DaisyF. :) If I believed mother in law to be mistreated or abused, I most certainly would go in there with barrels a blazin'. (which is why I take husband along.....the man is good about keeping me out of jail lol)

    I don't even truly think this aide has a big attitude problem. I think the woman is trying to get her job done as efficiently as possible and is overworked. But mother in law is not a typical nursing home patient. She may be 94 but is sharp as a tack and has all her wits about her, her body just gave out. So she doesn't take well to the pushiness aides need in order to do their job and fit everyone in. Add in mother in law's pain level over the past month or more.....and her patience is shot.

    I'm keeping my fingers crossed we don't run into a similar problem with them getting her to the bathroom at assisted living in a timely manner. They seem to have even less staff than the NH does.

  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad you got it figured out and mother in law hadn't been hurt. It is a tough job, working in a nursing home. But there really is no point in not letting someone put on a robe or have a blanket when they are sitting in a wheelchair waiting for help. Esp if you woke them up out of a nice warm bed.

    It might be hard to remember, as you are rushing around sweating, that others could be very very cold.

    I know that my grandmothers would have been MORTIFIED to be left sitting in a wheelchair in just a nightgown while waiting to be helped to the restroom or to bathe. neither of them would have had much tolerance for that. But so often people forget that the older generation is not as "casual" about these things.

    I hope the ALF situation is better. Or at least they have personalities that can understand that the patients might be elderly but they are not "losing it" mentally!

    I also hope the ALF situation is much easier on YOU. You have been a real trooper about this.