I've heard this for years, from many sources, and phrased in different ways ... that basically, no matter what you do, your child will tend to take more after the same-sex parent! Or ... will be more influenced by the same-sex parent. Dr. Phil is very big on telling people this, but I've heard it long before Dr. Phil was around. When my kids were young, I didn't believe this at all! I thanked God every day that my son was nothing like his father! In his case, that's a very scary thought! And I had so many "father-induced" problems with my daughter, I didn't think she would ever be anything like me! Out of spite, if nothing else! That's a very long story. But now I'm not so sure. When he was younger, I constantly watched my son for any sign of his father "cropping up" in him, and didn't see it. I would get extremely upset if anyone even suggested that he was anything like his father, or even that he looked like him (he DOESN'T!). He's 26 now. What I do see is his irresponsibility with money and the immature "instant gratification" thing. Is that taking after his father, or just the stage of life that he's in? He had a VERY short, VERY disasterous marriage to a girl who should have gotten the "Best Actress" award that year. Some of you older members may remember how it ended up. But when he was planning this marrige, HE was the responsible one, HE was the one thinking ahead. And now he's back in his "Wild Oats" stage. And he (and his friends) do put away their share of beer, which scared me to death! His father is a raging alcoholic. Both grandfathers were alcoholics. But he seems to be pretty responsible about it and no way would I consider my son an alcoholic. I'm not happy that he drinks but he's an adult and there's not much I can do about it. But happily, those characteristics that make his father one of those "poisonous people" ... the rages, the abusiveness, the "mean streak", the lying, the 24/7 drinking and Rx drug abuse ... I see NONE of those in my son. They're just not there! And my daughter, the one I was almost ready to give up on when she was a teenager ... the one who drank and dabbled in drugs, the one who was hateful and snotty and smart-mouthed to me (never her dad), the one who snuck in and out of the house and dated boys from the bottom of the food chain ... ? After several false starts when she was younger, she's 31 now and has been very happily married for three years to a wonderful man with unlimited prospects! These two are the absolute definition of "responsibility"! They both have good jobs and work very hard. She holds a responsible nursing position. They own a lovely home that they've worked very hard on fixing up and remodeling. They live 600 miles away and I dont get to see them often, but when I do, I am amazed to hear her talking because she sounds just like ME! So is this, like they say, her taking after her same-sex parent? Had she married one of the "bottom feeders" instead of waiting for "Mr. Wonderful", her life would have turned out much differently. Is it the influence of her loving, stable, reliable husband and becoming a part of his large, close family? Some of both? Or is the old saying right? I still haven't decided, but it bothers me. What do you think?