Does anyone else talk to themselves in their head

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Mar 2, 2012.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I want to know if I am crazy.

    I had a new psychiatric assessment today which may or may not have been a waste of time. I am trying to get a new therapist but that is like finding hens teeth down here. Maybe I will strike gold again. Who knows. This lady I went to see today was supposed to be the one I was going to be seeing and then halfway through the interview she tells me she isnt going to be doing therapy anymore as of Monday but they "think" they have a new girl hired to be working in the Lumberton office starting next month. Oh goody. Lets hope I like her. Blech.

    But she asked me if I have intrusive thoughts. I am not entirely sure what intrusive thoughts are. I talk to myself in my head constantly. I carry on whole, complete conversations with myself constantly. I mean back and forth conversations. As if there were two or more people talking up there. Maybe its a coping mechanism because I am an only child and I really have been alone so much of my life with so few people to talk to for extended periods of time?

    Then there are always those lovely questions about what I do for fun. Oh I sit home and play on the computer and watch tv. Do you go to movies or groups or church or have friends? Nope. Well I have a large group of online friends. I talk to them. Oh. I like to go to concerts if there is one around that I can afford to go to and I go to Darlington every year. But what do you do to leave the house every week. Well I normally go to the grocery store and if I have a doctor's appointment, I go there. Nothing else? Nope.

    What do you want to get out of therapy? Huh? how about a gold star and a lollypop. I dont know.
  2. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Janet, only child here too. I do the same thing, have been doing it for decades ever since I would get myself to sleep by making up scenarios and love stories. I used to hear voices reciting poetry just before I would be in slumberland. I never thought it was pathological. Maybe I should?
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm the youngest of five but since 90 percent of my childhood was spent with my grandma, you could sort of say I got a rather big taste of the only child thing. And yeah, I do it too. Only........I also do it out loud. Especially if I'm really trying to think something through or sort out my thoughts..........or heck, would just like to hear a human voice.

    Haven't you ever seen movies where they'll have a whole conversation going on in someone's thoughts for the audience? They had to have gotten that idea from somewhere. lol

    Now I think if you thought there were actually people in your head that would be a different matter.

    As far as socializing and friends go, we're pretty much the same. I'm not huge on the socializing thing.......and most things I might like to do I can't afford to do. I'm a home body, learned to accept that about myself ages ago. Nothing wrong with it in my opinion. Honestly, with or without the computer I could be a hermit and be perfectly happy.

    My kids know this, it's why they drag me out of the house all of the time. lol

    What do you want out of therapy? I understand why she's asking. You've been in therapy for years, haven't you? Therapy is not actually supposed to work like that, as in actual therapy. Most good tdocs say if they can't help you within two years then either you have the wrong doctor or you're not cooperating or something, maybe no set goal. (this is what I've been told anyway) I know with the one who is your friend you were starting to deal with childhood issues, is that something you're still working on or have you not been able to build enough trust with the new docs yet? Or is it that you need someone you can open up to and get good objective feedback from? That sort of thing is what she means.
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Also raised an only child and I do pretty much the same thing.
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Janet, I know people that weren't only children and do this.

    Arguments, too. Ever lost an argument with yourself? I have. It's kinda fun.

    And mine doesn't stay in my head, mine wanders down to the old vocal cords too.

    I think Robert Fulghum (All I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten) said it best - he has a town hall meeting in his head...
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader


    And it has nothing to do with being an only child. I was the youngest of five also and as a child I did it while lying in bed at night till I fell asleep, I did it when I was having an asthma attack and waiting for it to pass (often with my mom standing right there!), I did it while swimming and playing in the dirt,riding my bike, often.

    I still do it...while vacuuming, sorting laundry, etc. I don't think it is intrusive or crazy. I think it's a way of processing ideas and figuring things out for yourself, creating a devils advocate in your head to weigh out the pros and cons of certain situations. I think it's good!

    It's only a problem when the voices become intrusive to the point that you change your behavior based on those delusional intrusive thoughts.
  7. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    It's your inner monologue. I'd think intrusive thoughts are thoughts you cannot control or reason with in your inner monologue (ex:the dog made me do it.), or obsessive thoughts that are affecting your daily life.
  8. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Another only child here and I do it too - but I do it out loud. I even have arguments with myself. I've always thought of it as a way to clarify my thinking. Sometimes if you hear something out loud it gives you a different perspective. After one of my "conversations with myself" things are often clearer and I know what I need to do. Other times it's just for entertainment.
    I don't think that's an example of intrusive thoughts - I think that's when you have thoughts that pop into your head and they take over and you can't control them. What I have, I can turn on and off as I want.
    Either it's really common to do this or we're ALL nuts. LOL
  9. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Inner, never heard of that.

    Yep and sometimes my mouth is moving while I'm talking to myself and I get caught by Missy. "Mom! What are you doing????" said with horror in her face. LOL.

    I do it in the shower and come up with the best ideas and solutions. Something about the water and most importantly, the time to myself gets my brain working overtime.
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I have no idea if this is right or not... (I also have complete and repetitive conversations and even re-work my own answers) but I would think intrusive thoughts would be more as you are doing things....thoughts that interrupt your ability to function or to have those inner conversations. Thoughts that tell you to do things that make no sense, etc.

    I think especially for you, since you are typically isolated from others who can have real conversations with makes sense that you would have more inner conversations. I have been like that since a child and Q catches me mouthing my answers all the time, drives him NUTS!
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I thought everyone did this. LOL! I agree that intrusive thoughts are not the same thing as 'thinking' about things, ie, having conversations with ourselves. Still, we all probably have intrusive thoughts sometimes- like something bugging us and interfering with our work. Then the question would be whether or not they are obsessive thoughts, delusional, ptsd, or just simply situational stress that's temporary. But if we didn't have conversations in our minds, wouldn't that mean we couldn't think thru anything or reason anything out or be objective thinkers?
  12. keista

    keista New Member

    Yup! And I'm like Step. Every once in a while I start talking out loud to myself. Sometimes even arguing.

    Intrusive thoughts: These are thoughts that pop into your head out of nowhere and you start obsessing about them.

    Examples: I was going to the gas station convenience store to get a pack if cigs. Left son in car because it was a direct line of sight. As I"m crossing gas pumps an intrusive thought pops into my head - what if a red corvette comes zooming through and runs me over right in front of my son? The thought is so real and so vivid it was almost like seeing it happen. By the time I finish walking the ten feet into the store I'm in tears.

    DD1, trying to get to sleep, gets a thought about the house catching fire. She can't figure out how to get out of the house and worse, can't find her favorite stuffed toy. Of course all this thinking and devastation puts her in tears and she comes to me and it takes me about an hour to console her and find out why she is so upset.

    These thoughts do not have to be imagined "fantasy" type thoughts like above. It could be a sudden memory of something that happened that day, or years ago, generally an unpleasant memory and you thought you had processed it, but you can't get it out of your head. It's almost like PTSD but the incident is not some sort of huge traumatic event - is a simple everyday event. Like when you say something stupid and embarrass yourself. Yeah, OK if it happened that day, it makes sense that you are still processing it. But if it happened 10 years ago? And in the grand scheme of things it's truly inconsequential? = Intrusive thought.

    For both me and DD1 the intrusive thoughts generally come at night and make it very difficult to fall asleep, but they can come at any time of day.
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911


    It's a conference up there. CONSTANTLY.

    But someone here told me it was a sign of brilliance. :hi5: ----I'll just stick with that.
  14. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Of course. I do think it's normal. Just try not to have intrusive thoughts when you have a kid who acts out all the time. You worry, you get ideas about what could be happenening. I do think that when we are depressed or anxious intrusive thoughts get worse and we have to really work to otherwise occupy our brains.
    Maybe her question was more to check for psychosis-a whole other bag of worms.
    As for what to get out of therapy. Its all individual but in the end isn't about peace and some measure of happiness?
  15. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Oh Janet, I do this everyday all day (lol) It is a coping mechanism for me. I see nothing wrong with it and I certainly don't "hear voices" only my own ...

    I also sing to myself everyday and I always have. It is just who I am and I quite like being who I am.

    I am not an only chld but the only girl in my family so maybe that makes a difference ?
  16. keista

    keista New Member

    You hit the nail on the head. It's actually a sign/symptom of depression and anxiety.
  17. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad we've decided that this is normal because I do it constantly and have done it as long as I can remember. It's never quiet up there, always some kind of conversation going on! I don't ever really talk outloud to myself because I have four dogs so if I talk outloud, it's to them. They know all my secrets and all my most private thoughts ... they don't judge and they ain't talking either!

    And I am also a card-carrying member of the hermit brigade and couldn't be happier! A good day for me is when I don't even have to leave the house! Not for everybody but I love it this way! Just give me my computer, my satellite TV and my googley-eyed goofy dogs and I'm a happy lady! Only thing I would change is to have my daughter and her family be closer than 600 miles away but I can't change that. I see my son often and I have one brother who lives with his family 10 miles away. That's enough for me. I have a few good friends in our little town, people I've known for years, but they're not the kind of friends where we visit and go places together and talk on the phone. Most of my friends were at work but I retired 18 months ago. There are still a few I keep up with and see occasionally but not often. I do have one good friend that I talk to on the phone a lot. Funny thing about her ... she was an old friend from high school in Florida - lost track of her for 40 years! Then she moved to Tennessee to a place about 45 miles from me, and we reconnected. I don't see her often but we talk on the phone all the time, meet for lunch once in a while, go Christmas shopping together every year, and she comes every year when we have our little art festival in town.

    And that's enough for me! Honestly, after all the %&#! I went through raising my kids, all the %&#! I went through in my horrible "marriage", and all the %&#! I put up with at work for all those years just trying to earn a living, I am now absolutely wallowing in my solitude and the peace and quiet and the absence of conflict! I figure that's my reward and I earned it!
  18. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    We sound so much alike, Donna! I'm with you 100%! Maybe it's the "Tennessee" in us. LOL!
  19. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I hear my own voice in my head all the time. Occasionally, I hear the voice of my mom, or dr Phil, my 8th grade English teacher (cakes are done, people are finished) or even a cd member.

    I think it's a problem when you start hearing strange, unknown voices inside your head-and they are drowning out your own voice-Know what I mean??

    I picture Jan Brady in the movie versions of The Brady Bunch.
  20. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Just came from Facebook where somebody had posted:
    "I know the voices in my head aren't real but sometimes they have really good ideas."