DS3
New Member
Backstory a little....
ACS (Army Community Services) has this FAP (Family Advocacy Program). And I have it set up so that they come out and visit with me twice a month. It's like free counseling, and they help give me resources for helping my family, children, stress, etc.
So they called me the beginning of last week and let me know that there was this parenting course that I had to attend because I would take a lot away from it. So I planned on going, but being that my schedule was jammed for that day and I was exhausted by the time that I was suppose to be there (it was an evening class), I ended up cancelling. Felt bad because they really wanted me to attend, I just couldn't do it anymore that day.
So the ladies came over yesterday... And they brought me the materials that were handed out in the class (a book and two 1/2 hour videos). Which I thought was really nice of them. Then they told me that had a conversation with the person who presented the material just about me. So... Come to find out, they told them that I was one of those parents that does indeed care about my kids, and that I have started getting them the help they need early. (yay!). But that I couldn't attend because I have a tendency to always be busy and over-book my schedule. They also said that they specifically requested that I attend because I really could benefit from what was presented. I told them I would read the book. But yeah... Don't know if I should be proud because they said they don't know any other parent that has gone above and beyond to help their kids like I have (they actually said most parents they know would do nothing. which is sad.), or appalled because they said I could really benefit from the techniques in this book. So. ~sigh~
Coupled with the fact my therapist believes that I may be close to a mental breakdown, and my psychiatrist wanted to know if I needed to be committed.... Guess I'm just a little over-whelmed. I will try to get through the book before the next visit in two weeks, just don't know when I'll have the time.
by the way: Book is titled "ScreamFree Parenting; A Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool" By Hal Edward Runkel, LMFT
Excerpt:
ACS (Army Community Services) has this FAP (Family Advocacy Program). And I have it set up so that they come out and visit with me twice a month. It's like free counseling, and they help give me resources for helping my family, children, stress, etc.
So they called me the beginning of last week and let me know that there was this parenting course that I had to attend because I would take a lot away from it. So I planned on going, but being that my schedule was jammed for that day and I was exhausted by the time that I was suppose to be there (it was an evening class), I ended up cancelling. Felt bad because they really wanted me to attend, I just couldn't do it anymore that day.
So the ladies came over yesterday... And they brought me the materials that were handed out in the class (a book and two 1/2 hour videos). Which I thought was really nice of them. Then they told me that had a conversation with the person who presented the material just about me. So... Come to find out, they told them that I was one of those parents that does indeed care about my kids, and that I have started getting them the help they need early. (yay!). But that I couldn't attend because I have a tendency to always be busy and over-book my schedule. They also said that they specifically requested that I attend because I really could benefit from what was presented. I told them I would read the book. But yeah... Don't know if I should be proud because they said they don't know any other parent that has gone above and beyond to help their kids like I have (they actually said most parents they know would do nothing. which is sad.), or appalled because they said I could really benefit from the techniques in this book. So. ~sigh~
Coupled with the fact my therapist believes that I may be close to a mental breakdown, and my psychiatrist wanted to know if I needed to be committed.... Guess I'm just a little over-whelmed. I will try to get through the book before the next visit in two weeks, just don't know when I'll have the time.
by the way: Book is titled "ScreamFree Parenting; A Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool" By Hal Edward Runkel, LMFT
Excerpt:
You Can Start a Revolution in Your Family . . . Tonight
ScreamFree Parenting is not just about lowering your voice. Its about learning to calm your emotional reactions and learning to focus on your own behavior more than your kids behavior . . . for their benefit. Our biggest enemy as parents is not the TV, the Internet, or even drugs. Our biggest enemy is our own emotional reactivity. When we say we lost it with our kids, the it in that sentence is our own adulthood. And then we wonder why our kids have so little respect for us, why our kids seem to have all the power in the family.
Its time to do it differently. And you can. You can start to create and enjoy the types of calm, mutually respectful, and loving relationships with your kids that youve always craved. You can begin to revolutionize your family, starting tonight.
Parenting is not about kids, its about parents.
If youre not in control, then you cannot be in charge.
What every kid really needs are parents who are able to keep their cool no matter what.
Easier said than done? Not anymore, thanks to ScreamFree Parenting, the principle-based approach thats inspiring parents everywhere to truly revolutionize their family dynamics. Moving beyond the child-centered, technique-based approaches that ultimately fail, the ScreamFree way compels you to:
focus on yourself
calm yourself down, and
grow yourself up
By staying calm and connected with your kids, you begin to operate less out of your deepest fears and more out of your highest principles, revolutionizing your relationships in the process.
ScreamFree Parenting is not just another parenting book. Its the first parenting
book that maintainsfrom beginning to endthat parenting is NOT about kids . . . its about parents. As parents pay more attention to controlling their own behavior instead of their kids behavior, the result is stronger, more rewarding, and more fulfilling family relationships.
For those of you reading who are parents, know parents, or have had parents, the notion that the greatest thing you can do for your children is to learn to focus on yourself may sound strange, even heretical. Its not. Heres why:we are the only ones we can control. We cannot control our kidswe cannot control the behavior of any other human being. And yet, so many experts keep giving us more tools (techniques) to help us try to do just that. And, of course, the more we try to control, the more out of control our children become.
Dont make me come up there. Dont make me pull this car over. How many times do I have to tell you? Even our language suggests that our kids have control over us.
Its no wonder that we end up screaming. Or shutting down. Or simply giving up. And the charts, refrigerator magnets, family meetings, and other techniques in most typical parenting books just dont work. They end up making us feel more frustrated and more powerless in this whole parenting thing.
This practical, effective guide for parents of all ages with kids of all ages introduces proven principles for overcoming the anxieties and stresses of parenting and setting new patterns of connection and cooperation. Well-written in an engaging, conversational tone, the book is sensible, straightforward, and based on the experiences of hundreds of actual families. It will help all parents become calming authorities in their homes, bring peace to their families today, and give kids what they need to grow into caring, self-directed adults tomorrow.