DS4 has me so confused and tired!!Need behavior techniques

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by steph3306, Jul 15, 2009.

  1. steph3306

    steph3306 New Member

    DS4 is diagnosed with adhd, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) autism and I would say he has odd. He is VERY smart!!!! He will be starting kind. next year. Well last year at preschool he was a holy terror. He wouldn't sit at circle time, wouldn't raise his hand, would try to elope, hit, bite, scream, all the above.

    At home he acted just the same. Will not listen to us at all.

    This is his last week of summer school and I called the teacher to see how he has been doing because he goes to the neurologist next week. She tells me he has been the perfect model student. I said what?? She started laughing and said yeah one of his aides from last year is in here and she said he is night and day from last year. He is sitting at circle. Answering all the questions and wants to always be the helper. No yelling, biting, pinching NOTHING!!!! He has been an angel at school.

    Well he is still being a little turkey at home. BUT he can act nice when he wants something. He wanted cupcakes the other day so he was as nice as pie. Was saying please/thank you etc... When we told him no more cupcakes he turned back in to his screaming, biting, pinching fits.

    He is currently taking risperdone .25mg 3x a day and trileptol 2x a day.

    So I have came to the conclusion that he is not being disciplined right at home. Would you all agree? Does anyone have any techniques for disciplining a child with special needs?

  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    No, I don't agree. I imagine part of the problem last year was that he was simply too young for a school setting, not to discount his diagnosis's. When will he turn 5? Do you mean he will start kindergarten in Aug/Sept? He may still be too young for that much structure.
  3. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    No, I wouldn't agree at all that this is a result of his needing right discipline at home. Kids nearly always act differently at home and at school. If behaviors have improved at school then that tells me he's probably finally in the right kind of school environment where he can function well. Small differences in teachers and classrooms make huge differences in struggling kids.

    If he's making huge strides at school, the last thing I'd do is make big changes at home. Maybe pick out one area (a small one, not a big one) to work on and see how he responds.

    Have you read The Explosive Child so you're familiar with rational problem solving strategy?
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I don't agree either about the discipline. Autistic children are different and do not respond to "normal" parenting. Is he getting any Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) interventions? Do you yourself know a lot about Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and are you in touch with a professional who understands it and can explain it to you so that you can have better success at home with your son? I have a son who is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and is now sixteen. At your son's age, he acted like your son. Now, he is truly a great kid, but it took a lot of educating myself (and hub doing it too) and interventions to get him to where he's at. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids actually thrive with structure. Change upsets them and needs to be done very slowly and carefully. ANd that means even changing from him doing a math problem to him having to put that problem away and start another project. That alone can set off a child on the spectrum, which is why they need autism specific help.
    These Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids tend to be very smart. But they don't "get" social norms or social cues and when you tell him to say "please" and "thank you" he probably has no idea why you want him to say those things. I doubt he understands the concept of "polite." Truly, these kids need to be text book taught about social normals and to learn social skills. Is he in a social skills class?
    I recommend finding a therapist who SPECIALIZES in kids on the autism spectrum because these kids are a challenge, a puzzle, and a joy! :D I doubt he has any sort of ODD. He is probably frustrated, not understanding the world and what you expect him to do or why. Often these kids do much better with 1-1 aides in school, but my son was able to let go of his aide once he hit high school and he's pretty much mainstreamed. His aide taught him how to take notes, how to get the big picture rather than focusing on unimportant details and many other things. He even has a group of friends he sits with at school. But it took a lot of work. Welcome to the board.
  5. steph3306

    steph3306 New Member

    The last two years he has been in a preschool for children with disabilities. They have had him on a picture schedule. He is very verbal(so they tell us) but still can not communicate like a normal 4 year old would. He repeats a lot of things he hears but will use it in the right way. He doesn't turn 5 until Aug. and will start kind. in Aug. The preschool teachers all recommended he go to Kind. because they said he has learned everything he can learn in preschool and they think he would do better in a structured learning program. For kind. he will be in a one on one classroom. He is very intelligent but like someone said he has no understanding of common sense things. He can count to almost 100, knows 30 to 40 sight words, he knows how to google on the computer, he tried buying a game with my credit card on the comuter, he can have a book read to him twice and he will have it memorized. Academicaly he is way ahead except he can't/wont write but he will type on the computer. At home he seems angry all the time. Everyday I fight to get him on and off the bus. we take him for a bike ride to burn energy and he doesn't want to stop and will throw a fit for a good hour when we make him stop. He screams when he wants attention or is trying to say something. He is constantly on the go and bouncing off the walls. He never tires until around 8 or 8:30 at night and then he will go to sleep. Everything is a constant battle with him.

    Since he was a baby he has been behind 6 months to a year. We have NO understanding of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) or ADHD. We see a neurologist but they only spend maybe 10 minutes with us and out the door we go. Where we live there is only one behavioral Dr. and it takes over a year to get in. A new behavioral doctor just came to town and I am trying/calling everyday to try and get him in with him. Is there some other field of Dr's or therapist I could look into that specializes in autism?
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi. My son did EXACTLY what yours did. He memorized things, like numbers to 100, the alphabet and sight reading. THIS DID NOT LAST. He fell behind the other kids once abstract thoughts were involved. For example, he could memorize all the states and capitals, but could not tell you what President Lincoln might have been thinking about the Civil War. He is very concrete, even now.
    in my opinion the best professional is not a behavioral doctor because it's not a behavior problem. Your child is wired differently. I would call the nearest Autism Society, even if it's far away to find out where to get help in your area and even if you have to drive a distance, that's what I'd do (and it's what I did do because I live in a small town). A neurologist won't help you much regarding Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/autism. If you don't understand what makes your unique and special son tick, you can't help him. People from the autism society can send you all sorts of information that you can read and recommend good books.
    I'm glad you're here. Good luck. Your son can have a wonderful future.
  7. steph3306

    steph3306 New Member

    I got a call today to set up an apt. with a developmental peditrican. First we have to go and give a history report on him and then they will set up the appointment with the doctor. At least we are getting somewhere. Somewhere is better than no where. I am just hoping he can help us to understand his behavior better. If it wouldn't have been for your guys advice we probably still would have went on for years not understanding his autism. We thought the neurologist was suppose to help us and hadn't yet because he was young. So thank you all for explaining the difference in doctors!!!
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2009