Hi, all (Very long, sorry) It's been literally years since I have been to this site. I first became a member back when difficult child 1 was having behavior problems at home and at school and she was in the beginning process of being diagnosed as bipolar. Flash forward nine years later and she is currently on good medications and doing well with the help of medications, an IEP, and a really good p-doctor. She is now what I like to call a "typical teen," drama and all. She is not the reason why I am here now. My younger son is now the problem. He was always, and I hate to use this phrase, my "good child." Sweet, calm, loving, and hard working in school and at home. Not that my daughter wasn't good, so to speak, but she was always the one who had issues while my son was the child who never gave me any problems. Never. Like ever. Until now. In the last couple of years my son has come from being a sweet, shy little boy who always does what he's told to a very hyper, hard to control 11 year old who is constantly testing the boundaries and my patience. When he does not get his way, he can throw a temper tantrum and rage out of control. It doesn't happen very often, because to be honest I rarely tell him the word "no," but when it does, look out. The last time he had such a rage was in the car when I was driving him to his very first therapy appointment. He did not want to go, so for the whole half hour ride over there he kicked at my seat, kicked the windows, and took off his seatbelt and opened the car door. He was threatening to jump out of the car onto the freeway as I was hysterically driving and trying to control him. Once we arrived at the office he refused to talk to the therapist the entire forty five minutes we were there. Needless to say, it was our first and last therapy session. Thats another thing he will do. He will refuse to speak to any adult that is not me, his dad, or his grandmother. Teachers at school will ask him questions and he will refuse to answer. He does not make eye contact and will keep his head down and refuse to speak. He is like this everywhere we go. When I am introducing him to somebody new he will hold his head down and he will not say hello, even with my prompting. On the rare occasion that he does speak, he does so in a whisper and does not make eye contact with the other person whatsoever. I have tried my hardest to explain to him what he is doing is rude and it can be offensive to some people, but its just the way he is and he wont change. He has plenty of friends and he is popular at school, and he can be quite talkative with them at times. As a matter of fact he frequently gets in trouble for talking during class, but he only does it with his friends. When the teacher reprimands him he is silent and refuses to speak. His teachers have also reported that my son seems to display a lack of empathy towards others. Even with his friends he can be downright rude and say hurtful things with no remorse. I do not see this side of him at home. At home is very respectful and loving and he is constantly giving me hugs and kisses and telling me he loves me. He is only rude to others and it can be quite embarrassing. My mom took him to get a haircut a few weeks ago and when the hairdresser asked him how he liked the haircut he started yelling, not at her, but more like to himself. He said it was the worst hair cut hes ever had and he said he hated it. When my mom tried to explain to him that he was being incredibly rude, he refused to apologize. He kept going on and on about how much he hated it until finally my mom, very embarrassed, took him and left. When he got home later and I heard of the incident, I tried to explain to my son why he was wrong and how it was very impolite for him to do what he did. For the life of him he didnt GET it. He kept saying I was only being honest. I have tried my hardest to make him be polite but he just wont listen. When he gets gifts he doesnt like he will toss them aside and declare very loudly that he doesnt like what he got. My daughter will even step in and tell him he is being rude but he just doesnt care. He is also very impatient and when something isnt working right, like the computer or the cell phone, he will throw things across the room and sometimes break them. He is also incredibly hyper at home. He jumps on the bed and the couch, he body slams himself into the walls, he climbs all over everything, jumps on top of me when I am trying to watch TV, jumps all over my daughter and starts fights with her, and so on and so on and so on. difficult child 1 will beat the **** out of him and he will still go back for more. He is also very rough with our cat. I have tried to teach him how to pet him nicely but he will grab him and squeeze him and he doesnt realize that what he is doing is upsetting the cat. Our cat will go nowhere near him because he doesnt know how to be gentle. Another thing he does: he walks around the house naked ALL the time. I have explained to him over and over again that it is incredibly inappropriate at his age but he refuses to get dressed. The only way I can keep his clothes on is to actually dress him myself. He is constantly testing the boundaries and to be honest, I dont really know if this kid even KNOWS that half the stuff he is doing is wrong. I just cant seem to get through to him. I must say that except for the selective mutism, he NEVER displays this kind of behavior at his dads. He never starts fights with difficult child 1 and he is never super hyper over there. He is always on his best behavior. He absolutely hates going over to his dads. He does not like it there and his stepmother treats both of our kids pretty badly. I dont know why he never displays this kind of behavior in front of his dad. I see the worst of him and he takes everything out on me. difficult child 1 is the same way. She is on her best behavior over there even though she hates being there. I dont know why the teachers, grandparents and I see the worst of the worst, but thats just the way it is with my kids. I know my son can control himself to a point because he does so at his dads, but as soon as he returns back in my care he goes completely wild. He is driving me crazy. I just got out of a two year long depression and right now I am very scared of losing it and destabilizing. I seem to be holding it together okay for now, but I feel like any day now I can crack. His dad has threatened to take both kids away from me in the past, and he says is going to use my mental instability against me in court. My kids may be the biggest stressor in my life, but they are all I have and I will be devastated if I lose him. Im really afraid that one of my kids is going to go off one of these days and CPS will take them away. Right now I feel like I am living on the edge. Honestly if it wasnt for my job I think I would be certifiably insane right now. I feel less stress at my job than I do at my house. I would rather be working than be at home. It sucks to have to say that but its true. Handling one difficult child was tough but handling two difficult children is damn near impossible. I honestly cant wait until they grow up and move out of the house and I hate myself for feeling like this. Our first p-doctor appointment for difficult child 2 is April 2nd. I am really hoping we can get an official diagnosis and start moving forward to get the help my son needs. My biggest fear is that p-doctor will say that there is nothing wrong with difficult child 2 and hes just a bad kid who has no empathy for anybody. I am counting down the days till the appointment. I dont know what to expect but hopefully we will begin making some progress. Anyway, thanks for reading, if youve made it this far, and wish me luck.