hi guys,
as always i soo appreciate the responses and thought in the responses.
Rotsne - ok that totally made me laugh alot. thank u i was in need of a laugh
i totally see your point there. Yet I am only getting info pertaining to their home from easy child, i wouldn't want to take such action unless i saw boyfriend bruised.
Jane - thank you and your right i am so emeshed with her and in her life. She is probably trying to fight for her independence throughout which may be making this worse. I always accept advice, you are not sounding "preachy" at all, no worries. That's whats so great about here, i can learn from others and so forth.
Meowbunny - thank u, breath jen breath lol. ahhh. i am already handling the school issues and have been for so long. Between team meetings, and also constant with her guidance counselor. We have done summer school for two years now, and the guidance counselor, and dean and myself all feel that i am "saving" her too much and at this point enabling her when it comes to the academics. So, we discussed possibly offering her a different program come next term if the grades are still where they are. Her and boyfriend see eachother everyday in school, yet from now on it will be "supervised" visits.....
I have to allow him in my home, she can't go there it's too crazy and volatile. Honestly, what upsets me is there is a difference between them in love and in the heat of the moment things happening (regardless of lying,etc.) than her texting her friends with "how to do" it instructional texts while she is doing it, and him coming over specifically for that and it was planned 3 days prior. We will get thru this somehow, someway. My boyfriend is also rocked by this as well, it seems he cares about her far more than I previously thought. which is a good thing. so, thanks again for my calming.
Eekysign - I'd like to start by saying that here, this forum is a wonderful place filled with caring and giving and insightful parents with whom all work towards the same goal which is creating healthy, functional children with whom some day will be adults. We all try the best we can not to judge, or preach to one another, to read the posts carefully before we respond, and to even look back before hitting "submit reply" to see if any edits are necessary. It is a very accepting place to be.
With that being said I have noticed that several of your comments to me indicate that you have not read my posts carefully, I understand they are long yet no one here is "obligated" at any point to respond to the posts, we do so because we care.
My daughter is not using drugs, the substance abuse issue you refer to, that was stated in my earlier response and reitterated by meowbunny as well that she is not using. I also stated how I have tried various attempts ie. team mtgs at school for failing grades, different parenting approaches, punishments, stripping rooms down, etc. Yet you state and i quote "how odd it is that i am not concerned with these larger issues" and how why haven't i done this, that and the other thing.
I find your responses to be "harsh" and explicit to the point where I find myself not wanting to continue reading them. I also find them to be accusatory and judgemental as well. That is not the experience in which I chose to have here, and have never had here actually in the year I have been a member, up until now.
Maybe you should spend sometime reviewing your responses to people here, and asking yourself......what is it I hope to achieve by responding the way in which I currently am? Am I being judgemental, accusatory, condescending? Reread your responses carefully and edit if necessary. No one here wants to be "preached" to, and it often takes time to know people and as I can see you are very new here as well.
I do appreciate the time that you took in typing, yet I do not feel you took time to carefully read my posts and threads so that your responses could be more logical and thoughtful. I hope that in the future you take more time when responding to parents, and it's reflected in your responses. Remember we are all here to "help' one another not preach to one another. I look forward to seeing your more responses from you that are not this way.
again everyone else, this place is amazing and i'd rip my hair out without it, trust me!!! LOL
