Engagement at 21?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Mar 27, 2017.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My daughter Jumper will be 21 very soon. She is VERY mature, stable and respondible...not silly at all. In a year, she will be a cop. I tell you this so you have a feel for her. She has never caused us one day of trouble and her and her boyfriend, on top of hub, were rocks for me after my accident.

    Her boyfrien is 25, finished school, has a good job for the city, also never been in trouble, saves money, is uber calm and kind. His whole famjly is that way. I was with.the two of them all weeked (we all had a room together while in Chicago to visit Princess snd Baby..i know it may sound weird but we had two beds snd everyone wore sweats...lol) and I got to see how they interact and they.just.flow. Both.his mom and I believed a while ago that this will go all the way. His family loves her. We love him.

    She was looking at engagrment rings with him in Chicago. They talk often about their future.

    She is only going to be 21. And, to be fair, she has said she wont marry until out of school and doesnt want kids for a few years.

    She is only 21.

    Almost.

    They plan to travel a lot this summer. I 100% trust him with her. They dont scresm and yell or have drama. Jumper isnt drama and he isnt either. Very emotionally mature...moreso thanany adults.

    She is only 21. Almost.

    I married at 20, but not for love and i knew it would be a disaster from Day One and 17 years later I filed for divorce.

    I have a good feeling about Jumper and N.

    Shes young, but always knew what she wanted and did it. Their financial situation is good. I cant stop them and wouldnt try.

    Why am I both happy and sad? I really love her boyfriend like another son. Husband and he get along great, have gone shooting together. Husband took a day off once to totslly fix his car. He tried to pay. Husband said no.

    Its as perfect as it can be except for her age. They have known each other forever, dated and have been inseperable for two years.

    This is actually my first potential kid wedding I will be a part of. Bart and ex eloped. Goneboy and his girlfriennd did it 100% alone. Princess never married her SO of twelve years and doesnt feel a piece of paper matters.

    I am not really nervous...and I am. I feel and his mother feels they are perfect for each other. His father does too and they stay there often when they visit from Jumpers college town because they have a big house. We just have an apartment. Our families get along well.

    I have a very good feeling about them..
    But i am still a little skittish. Shes my youngest, my baby. Yet so very mature and stable and we are very close. I see tbe good in this. Everyone does. Neither of them were wild or serial daters. This young man is stable, steady, and lived in a close, intact family his whole life.

    Am I crazy lol???
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2017
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I would be so thrilled to be in your situation. Two good people who want a future.

    Has she said how long an engagement she wants? Glad that she knows she doesn't want to start a family soon.

    Is she your youngest? Maybe that has something to do with it...

    Congrats that you raised such a mature young lady.

    Ksm
     
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  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your kindness, KSM. She wont get married until she graduated from the police academy. She will be 22 when she graduates.

    She is my baby girl. Yes, that may be it. I am grateful for your upbeat words. They calmed me down a little bit. I appreciate that you took the time to answer me. When she said "engagement rings" she was glowing. I felt faint lol.
     
  4. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I agree with KSM.

    This is wonderful. To find your soulmate at such a young age. That is awesome!

    Embrace it. I think it's good.
     
  5. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Oh it's so nice to read some happy news here! How wonderful for them.

    I really don't think you have anything to worry about. The way you describe her and the boyfriend, sounds like they have put much thought into what they want and they have their priorities straight.

    I think you having some anxious feelings can be very normal but I really don't think you have anything to worry about.

    Enjoy this very special time and thank you for sharing some happy news with us. :love_heart:
     
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  6. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    If it feels so right, then they should go for it! Several of my children married very young, they were so in love, and they all have really good and contented families. I'm sure it's hard with the youngest child, but when all's said and done, that's what we want for them, isn't it?

    So -- congratulations! And enjoy!

    Love, Esther
     
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  7. wisernow

    wisernow wisernow

    This sounds so VERY VERY right! Of course as moms we always worry but everything you said sounded so good! Congratulations to you all and enjoy!!!!!
     
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  8. Old-hand

    Old-hand Active Member

    I feel your anxiety, SomewhereOutThere. Just seeing the vast numbers of marriages (today) going under, is grounds enough in my opinion to feel uneasy about such, never mind at such a young age.

    On a more positive note, I am so happy for you and your daughter! One thing about life, nothing is guaranteed. We do, we try, and at the end of the day that's the only thing we can count on and take comfort in.
     
  9. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    They are writing a new chapter! Its an honor to be part of it! We married young, our wedding mantra was " It is risky to marry for love alone, but so honest God can't help but smile".....

    Congrats! Tomorrow is never promised, but today can be great!
     
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  10. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Once in awhile, SWOT, things turn out well. This sounds like one of those times. Relax and enjoy it.
     
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  11. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    It sounds like they are going to have a long engagement. They both have career paths and sound responsible and mature. If they're in love and think they can make it work, why not get married once she turns 22. Marriage isn't for everybody. If they think they can get through the storms of life and be faithful to each other for the next 50-60 years, marriage could work for them.
     
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks all. I guess When you find somebody that special...they really both are extremely focuseed, mature and gentle. He lived at home until they moved in together, but he had a good job and stashed money away. She has always been an old soul, very mature, not a rebel at all. Even her teen years were easy peasy. I guess i expected this but not so soon.. thanks for the good thoughts. I am excited and horrified at the same time...lol. i guess i will be gaining another son.
     
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Marriage isnt for everyone but Jumper and N are traditional and want it plus the kids...and Grammy can babysit!! And my fee is zero.

    I wish I had met my husband young. I was also traditional and so is he. We have been married 22 great years and I wish we had met one another earlier. I was not particularly career oriented and didnt want a man who worked 80 hours a week so that we had a gorgeous house or toys. And we didnt but we didnt care. The world revolved around the kids. For both of us.

    Jumper always says N is so much like her father. They are very close. She had and still has a great father/daughter bond. Both of them (Jumper and N) grew up with parents who loved one another and were involved with their kids. That is no guarantee...nothing is....but I like the odds.

    They plan to marry after she graduates from the police academy. She will be 22 then or, if they wait a year, older. He will be at least 26. So he isnt a kid and he is very responsible.

    I just think its hard for me to realize that my baby is grown up. As for divorce...if everyone worried about it, nobody would get married...whatever will be will be. They have a good foundation. And they are very good people.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2017
  14. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Oh I missed this thread before now! I think it's terrific! Yes, she's young. But, as you point out frequently with respect to our difficult children, she's old enough to vote or to enlist in the armed forces and fight for our country, right? From everything you've said, she's a smart, capable young woman with a good head on her shoulders. She's proved that yet again by stating she doesn't want to get married until she's out of school.

    Congratulations! Have fun planning the wedding! :D
     
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  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Lil. She was always very wise beyond her years, responsible and focused. She is the apple of her fathers eye! Fortunately, her boyfriend is very sensible too.

    I appreciate all well wishers. I truly wish everyone had one child just like her. She is so delightful.
     
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  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Let her follow her instincts. Trust her - she has always had a good head on her shoulders.

    I married at 21 and had my son just after I turned 22. I was pregnant when we got married. I did not marry because I was pregnant. I married because I could not imagine my life without my husband.

    We just had our 25th wedding anniversary.
     
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  17. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Sus. Congrats!

    I do trust this daughter. She is reflective and not at all impulsive or starry eyed and this is a good man. I trust her common sense more than many twice her age.