Every once in a while

Fran

Former desparate mom
I catch myself every once in a while having a need to hold a baby. Not the newborn although I like them too. The 6month olds until walking. They are all smiles,cuddles, drool,new teeth and big adventures.
I was sitting at my desk feeling a need to hold a child. Probably missing my own a bit.
No, I don't want more children. I almost 52 and I still get the empty womb syndrome.
 

dreamer

New Member
Oh boy can I relate!
I think it has something to do with all the hope and optimism in a new life. LOL_ we are getting a new kitten.....and I think I agreed to it for similar reasons.
I wonder if thats why some people start gardening later in life? LOL_ the newness, the freshness, the growth.......
 

ScentofCedar

New Member
That was a sweet post, Fran.

You know what it made me think of? When we were young women and there were babies hanging on us all the time, babies seemed less miraculous than they do to me now. Then, they were to be cleaned and fed and cared for and cherished. Now? They hold the miracle of all those years of life to come. For the little girls, I understand now what it is to grow up and have babies and be part of that whole circle of life thing. For the little boys, I know that one day, he will meet life with the same courage or humor or pain that my husband did. I get it, that life will be full of challenges for whatever baby I am holding. But I also get it that the child will grow through the challenge of it all and reach that kind of rich, middle aged place I am in right now.

So holding a baby at my age is a very different thing than it is for a younger woman.

It sounds so hokey, but everything I do at my age has this sort of rich echo to it.

Everything is so much more than it seems.

Plus, there is just something so sweet about the way they sit right on you, without reservation or stiffness ~ or sometimes?

Make no bones about not wanting to have anything to do with you, at all!

Barbara
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
dreamer, you are so cute with getting a kitten. You think it's the nurturing part? Probably. Or hormones. LOL.
I agree that gardening is pretty life affirming.
Thanks. Glad I'm not the only one.
 

Suz

(the future) MRS. GERE
I feel the same way about puppies, Fran. That's when I start looking at dog rescue sites on the internet and visiting the rescue not far from where I live. There's just something so dear about puppy breath, puppy clumsiness, puppy bellies, and puppy fur.

Suz
 

mattsmom27

Active Member
I totally understand. I am 32 and have my tubes tied. So no more babies for me. But I crave them from time to time. The scent, the trusting eyes, snuggles and grins.
My solution? My superintendent babysits her 14month old granddaughter but she needs to do another job for an hour each day at noon. So I offered to go stay with the baby for that hour so that she doesn't have to bring the baby out in bad weather etc. So each day I get my 1 hour of baby fix'in. She is the sweetest little thing with the strangest shade of green eyes I have seen! I'm smitten but not enough to babysit more than that hour Monday to Friday
Melissa
 

dreamer

New Member
UH oh, maybe I am just.......whacked? the real truth is I am getting THREE kittens. LOL-- I have ALWAYS had cats----plural. our last one died a couple weeks ago.
A new litter is born and right now we only have my dog....who I got when I was very ill and son started school--I was so afraid that between no longer being able to work and my last little one going to school- I owuld be so lonesome for a "baby" soo I got my first ever SMALL dog and while everyone around me thought me bonkers, I have never ever regretted it at all. My dog goes with me EVERYWHERE.
I always absolutely thrived on babies and toddlers------but at my age, a small dog seemed the next best thing. and now logic tells me a 2nd small dog might be more commitment than I can deliver, but--I always got 2-3 cats at a time, becuz------cats can amuse themself and if you have more than one, they seem more able to be alone more or something. BUT see, I have THREE kids------and the litter was born of THREE kitties---so- the kids think THEY are each getting a kitty.......BUT you see? I am getting new "babies" but ones that will not demand the same from me as a human baby, LOL. AND I can always tell the kids OH they are YOURs- YOU take care of it. LOL.

I loved being preg, I loved new babies-----my sis in law always told me I could have all the babies and she would take them from age 8-10 or so on. That always seeemed to me to be the best of all worlds, LOL. diapers, nursing, rocking a baby all hours- I LOVED it, even at the time, even when I was entrenched in it, even when I was keeling over tired.
I could NOT work labor-delivery or peds as a nurse becuz.......my mouth hangs open in awe and wonder at the beauty of a baby and the wonder of new life. It hypnotizes me. I could hold a new baby or young child for hours and hours, can change endless diapers----and crawl around the floor endlessly with a small kid.
Ah but.......there are still times I can look into my kids faces and still see my "babies" in there......awwwwww.

We visit our new kitties now and aww, it is so precious.
I keep telling myself growing plants in my garden is almost as good. LOL.
 

dreamer

New Member
don't those happy lil one-2 toothed grins just grab ya and let ya? Or those first steps- when they forget they do not yet know how to walk well, but someething catches their eye across the room and off the toddle----cuz they are so excited?
and how they can be more amused with peekaboo than with the expensive socially perfect toy?
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Well anyone wants baby kisses or baby drool or even to hear baby's first word (bye) may come to my house any friday thru monday.

Keyana surprised the dickens out of us on sunday when we were all saying bye to Cory as he was leaving to go to work. She normally just babbles and Im sure that was all she was doing but she started going...bye bye bye. LMAO. It was precious.
 

Ephchap

Active Member
Awwww, Fran. I have to admit that I'm a baby person too. However, I love the newborn stage. Once they hit about 15 months, you can take them. I don't have the energy anymore.

Deb
 

dreamer

New Member
OK OK< heres one. me and lil dude, my now 11 were sitting recently in eye docs office. Now almost all the patients are elderly.....we do not see kids there except maybe 1 kid every 5-6th visit. So this lady, maybe in her 80s? was across from us. she looked mostly tobe kind of taking a nap- the wait for doctor is always LONG......and mosst likely she came by bus and had to come early? Every once n awhile she would open one eye and peek out-------right at my son.......and then she would get the most dreamy look on her face. Now of course to my son 11 is NOT a little boy, but to an 80 yr old, I am sure an 11 is a little one. Aftr about half an hour I noticed she began to rock when she peeked at him, and she would kinda ....glow or something.
after about another 20 mins or so------she caught me watching her. I smiled- she smiled. So I could not help it, I mean how do I know if she was remember her wee ones or if she was wistful cuz maybe she never was blessed with children. do you have children. Oh yes, she raised 9 kids and she raised 6 o f her grandkids and now has 3 great grandkids. and yes, her "baby" is 6 and a half fet tall........now truth is my son no way could look anything like any of hers-----not on the surface, he is as fair as snow, long straightish blonde hair blue eyes, and she is very very dark.....maybe her son had cornrows or dreadlocks or whatever? BUT you could tell- she was a mother at heart and what SHE saw was under the skin......she saw what she felt......maternal love, appreciation for blossoming people, people growing and learning- you could SEE it written all over her-----how she just loved babies and chldren and how they made HER feel good. Across the room, I could feel her nurturing and her pleasure of just watching growing taking place. So then i askd if she also hadpets? O yes....... oh laws yes s se said. PLants? a garden? oh yesss.......

At that moment I wished maybe she had been my mama.

I suppose that migt be about how she was feeling at that moment at the eye docs waiting room. To me, I thougt t was pretty magical. very young chldren DO seem magical. and they can often bring out the best in people. and they sure can warm your heart or lift your mood.

And LOL- how cool when you can send them home to mommy to get their diaper changed etc? LOL.
 

dreamer

New Member
aw dammit janet-------how precious! Good thing you live so far away or youmight get stuck with me the whole time.....

I love newborn to? middle school or hs..then I get flustered.
Personally, actually, I have been looking at my 11 yr old son lately wondering YIKES how can anyone but their mom enjoy them at all------I think my 11 son is kinda....funny looking? his darn body is growing faster than he can keep up and his ears look so big and so do his feet and well, I don't know------but----- somehow that just makes me adore him more somehow. LOL. I keep thinking how weird it must be to have your feet grow 6 inches every nite and be so big and try to walk that way or something? and when is the rest of him gonna catch up?
I am VERY lucky my 11 son is a laid back and patient kind child, cuz ack! he lets me tease him...and he does not yet get embarrassed by me. He will even still come hug me in front of his friends.

6 months to 12 months? gosh they are so ........pure. innocent, awesome. the best ......so much hope .....
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
Fran, I know EXACTLY what you mean! No matter how long ago it was that your own children were babies, most mothers have such a residual retention of those thousands of hours that they spent holding their babies! All I have to do is see a small baby and I remember EXACTLY what it feels like to hold them, the way their skin feels, to have them rest their head on your shoulder, or when their little fingers get tangled in your hair! And am I the only one who can still get tears in their eyes just getting a whiff of Johnsons Baby Shampoo? My niece has a five month old baby and I could sit and hold him for hours! I guess it's like what they say about riding a bicycle ... you don't ever forget! It's permanently imprinted on our brains! I think it's kind of the same thing as, when you're in the grocery store and a small child yells, "Mommy!" ... every woman in the store will stop what she's doing and intently listen, even if her own kids are middle-aged!

I am (not so patiently) awaiting a phone call from my daughter someday to tell me that she's pregnant! They've been trying for over a year ... hopefully I'll get that call soon!
 

Janna

New Member
At 35, I can't even comprehend why you'd want to hold a baby LOL! I can't wait until mine are gone. Maybe I need to wait until I'm in your place.

I can send my 8 year old easy child over. He'd fit in your lap. You're more than welcome to have him a while. Bet it would change your mind.
 

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
Fran, I love that age. I've always mourned that husband & I never had a baby to hold & cuddle.

I did get practice from all my nieces & nephews, though.
 

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Every once in awhile I want to hold a baby-I love all the ages. I know there is no way I could ever adopt another-don't have the energy but they are so cute and sweet and cuddly and precious and...
 

everywoman

Well-Known Member
I am not a very "baby" person, but I have to admit, holding my grandson (who is 6 months by the way Fran) is the most comforting feeling---We went to see them in there new house (30 minutes away) and evertime I put him down he held his arms up for me to pick him up again and would give me the biggest hug. It just melts my heart!
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Janna...I swore I wasnt a kid person either till mine grew up. LOL. I still dont think I could raise another family but I do enjoy having the baby around. I cant wait for there to be two of them. Jamie just had the ultrasound but the kidlet didnt cooperate so they have to do another one in a few more weeks to get a better picture. They did say this kid has huge feet and the longest femur bone! Just like its daddy...lmao. Guess its gonna be tall too.
 
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