Everyone is tired

[Got2Sleep]

I think I get tired and stressed and come here or my email group to decompress per say. But, my easy child's? Where do they go? They were in therapy until we lost insurance. Now I KNOW they have to go back. Today, after a full day of name calling, being the punching bag, and having his pants pulled down by difficult child--my 14yr old easy child snapped. He lightly slapped difficult child in the face. NOW--I lost it on him! HE is 14-difficult child is 6 and TINY! HOW could you hit him? I didnt mean too he said..I jut wanted hima way from me! I was so mad.....

After I calmed down, and difficult child came out of his crying, nobody likes me moment, I realized that...WE HAVE GOT TO GET SOME HELP! I did go in and apologize to easy child about yelling at him. I KNOW how he was feeling, I just know enough NOT to act on it. He was VERY down on himself and kept saying, MOM, he has hit me and cussed me all day! I just want him away!

Tears and hugs later, we talked about how difficult child is just that. FROM GOD, warts and all. That although there are times he cant control himself, we HAVE to and our job is to model and teach him how to do that.

The other 2 easy child's were with us, and the youngest easy child just kept saying, but MOM..HE is sooo mean!

So, Monday we will be making an appointment so they can talk to someone and hopefully get their frustrations out!

~S

 

[DazedandConfused]

In defense of your easy child, he is still a kid himself and harassment, even if coming from a much younger difficult child sibling, can get pretty darn tiresome. Plus, so much of it can seem deliberate. PCs have a put up with a awful lot of doo doo.

I hope you can get the therapy your family needs.

 

[timer lady]

I'm glad that you are finding a safe place for your PCs to talk. PCs have a lot to deal with - stressed parents & out of controls difficult children.

While they may intellectually understand the situation, they must resent the heck out of all the demands a difficult child can put on the family.

I hope you have a calmer weekend. :flower:

 

[TerryJ2]

Yes, get their frustrations out and make a plan.
It always helps when someone can see the overall picture.
Good luck!

 

[Josie]

I agree that it will be good to give the other children someone to talk to about their brother.

I really wanted to tell you I noticed he has celiac disease so I read some of your other posts. My daughters and I are not diagnosed with celiac disease but we are gluten intolerant. I noticed you said in another post that you can't be sure he isn't getting some cross contamination. I wanted to let you know that cross contamination can make a huge difference in behaviour. My difficult child is only a difficult child now when she has cross contamination. Even products marked "may contain traces of wheat" will cause her to revert to her ugly ways. Also for her, milk makes her mean. Again, tiny amounts of milk from cross contamination will do it for her. I wouldn't have believed it could make such a huge difference until I saw it in her and in myself. For me, I noticed my gluten effects (depression and irritability) lasted 2 1/2 weeks after I had some cross contamination.

At the risk of sounding too optimistic, I would work on his diet because this could all be from either hidden gluten or another intolerance like milk.

 

[On_Call]

I agree that it will be a good thing if PCs can have an outlet all their own in their dealings with their difficult child sibling.

Our easy child just started counseling at school because she has suddenly become aware that things in our household are not all that typical. It is as if a switch has been turned on inside her - I think up to this point, she just accepted difficult child as he is and she loves him no matter what. However, lately, as things with difficult child have taken some twists and turns, it has affected her more deeply than in the past - I am sure it is because she is older and more in tune with the world and our mini-world at home.

She was extremely affected by difficult child's month-long hospitalization last fall and says she is afraid all the time that he will have to go in again.

I think it has been good for her to have a separate, independent place and person to discuss these feelings with.

Good luck getting people in place to help you and your little ones. Like it or not, we're all in this together and we can all use all the help we can get.

Hugs to you.