Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by recoveringenabler, Jun 30, 2016.
I think it's good to remind ourselves of this as often as possible.
About to go to bed; I logged in for a reason, and it was this. Thank you.
Amen. Thanks RE ~
One day, riding the bus to work, in the depths of confusion and despair, I threw out a plea to the universe to give me a "sign" - any sign- for anything ... for something.... for some direction ... for some answer. We came to a bus stop, and I looked up to glance out the window and saw -- an actual street "SIGN" (picture below). The sign said "You are going to be alright" ... Wow. And I thought ~ well, guess that's all I need to know, the only "sign" I need right now! ~ I asked for a sign and I got a real street "sign" (I chose it as my current avatar.)
My friend gave me a book this week by Thich Nhat Hanh. Peace Is Every Step. I started reading it in the bathtub last night. I read about 20 pages.
He talks about starting with breathing. Just breathing. Breathe in and breathe out and just think about it while you are doing it. This seems...what...maybe even remedial...certainly kind of what...silly....in the midst of all people here are dealing with. But it's not the breathing that is the point, he says. It's the mindfulness that focusing on breathing...just breathing in and out...he says three circulations of breathing in....and then out....are enough to calm us. Then....we can see that we are actually living in this very moment. We aren't living in the past or the future for just a minute. We are quieting our thinking and we are grasping this very moment.
I think this is something almost nobody does. Nobody. And this mindful practice is a "I can do this" aid or help that we can grab onto to calm ourselves in the thick of our racing minds, our overwhelming anxiety, our deep fear, our profound grief, our despair about our loved ones, our insistent racing around to try...one...more...thing...to make a difference in an impossible situation.
If we can stop....just stop....and reset ourselves...and calm ourselves...we can start to create a very tiny space...a very small space....that we can grasp....and later enlarge...to create some light. Just a tiny bit of light at first, but there is light for us to grasp onto even in the midst of this type of awful, soul-searing pain and grief.
Practices like this can be a first step to letting go. Which I believe is the goal. We must let go of that which we cannot control. But how to do it? That is the very very very hard part. This could be a first step.
Kalahou - I remember the first time you said this to me. It was SO comforting.
I went through a really bad time of heartache and despair few years ago with Difficult Child. Finally out in the garage I spoke to the mountain, out loud and just asked the Lord, please take this burden from me, help me, my heart is aching and I am so overwhelmed with worry. I was literally crying...and then, a male voice said clearly "(my first name), it's going to be all right". That was it. Immediately I felt the heaviness leave me instantly, felt love and peace. And you know, everything worked itself out..and became all-right.
Separate names with a comma.