Example of 5 yr old son's behavior

[TiredSoul]

This morning he complained that his foot hurt. I was asking him questions about it – does it feel like a cramp or like it is asleep. He told me it felt like a cramp. I told him to walk around on it and it would feel better. Then he got angry and started yelling “I hate you, I hate this city, I am leaving”. Then he calmed down a bit and then again started yelling and said “I hate stupid cramps, I’m leaving”. I told him it wasn’t going to feel any better if he left. Then asked him if we wanted to help me make waffles and he said yes. He was pleasant while we made waffles and commented that his foot still hurt so he sat down for awhile and rubbed it. Awhile after eating I asked him if his foot still hurt and he responded in a surprised happy tone that it didn’t hurt anymore.

This is an example of how he acts like everything is my fault and yells and screams at me. Yesterday he was trying to do something on the computer and was asking (demanding) my help. When I didn't know how to do what he wanted me to do - he started yelling saying he hates me and telling me I do know how to do it but just wouldn't help him.

On a side note, he has complained about his foot hurting for years. He used to wake up in the night (when he was sleeping in our bed) and cry and have me rub it. I have asked the doctor about it before and said it was probably nothing (maybe cramps or growing pains). It is not always the same foot.

 

[loricbme]

JulieBug -
I feel your pain. My daughter's sayings are, "I hate you, freak!" sometimes it's just I hate you and sometimes it's just freak. Today I got also got a "duh, freak". And she added a few pinches in for more drama. Some days I hate my life.

 

[--Eleanor--]

Hmmm...I would think about consulting a new doctor about the foot problems first. If your son is having chronic pain problems, that could certainly affect his disposition.

As to the general unreasonableness and tantruming--yep, I have conversations like this with my son regularly. He's upset and it is somehow my fault for not intuiting what is wrong. Speech therapy has helped somewhat with him being able to articulate the problem, but when he's on a tear, sometimes he just has to work his way through it. (Preferably in his room, where I don't have to listen to the ranting.)

 

[TerryJ2]

Gosh, JulieBug, that sounds so much like my son! I can identify with-the emotions, with-everything being "your fault," and my difficult child is also very negative. But the foot thing is weird. You may want to try acupuncture.
...unless you think it's some psychosomatic thing that he's hanging onto from an old injury.

 

[TiredSoul]

I think you Gals may be right - I need to talk to a new doctor about his foot/feet. He has been complaining of it since he was 2 y.o. But like I said it is not always the same foot. He did sprain his left ankle when he was 3 y.o. so I always wonder about that, but again not always that foot.

loricbme - My son also uses the freak word quite often, as well as moron. Amazing... some the kids movies he watches use terms like this. I agree with you about some days hating your life. I feel the same way. I have never really been the stay at home mom type, but I am doing it now and didn't really think I would have more children after Son1 - but somehow convinced my husband after 5 years we should have another. Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking. We got a fussy baby on top of all this. I need a break!

I just got The Explosive Child and The Difficult Child from Amazon, so now I need to find time to get thru those. I hope I find something that will help.

Thanks for the responses!

 

[witzend]

I would tell the doctor that it is a continuing problem for him and ask if he will either revisit the issue or have a specialist look at it. It could be something fairly benign, but it would be better to know what it is than to have your son feel as though you didn't listen when he hurt. Five year olds aren't able to make choices about their medical care, and it seems as though it would be better to know for sure that there was nothing wrong, than to guess that there's nothing wrong when there is something that could be worked with.

I used to see a psychiatrist (Dr. K) who did a medical rotation with a man who I ended up using for my GP (Dr. M). They were at Bellevue in NYC. A man with schizophrenia came in complaining of head pains, insisting that it was the aliens or some such thing. Dr. M ordered tests on the head. Dr K wanted to know why, since the man was clearly insane. Dr. M pointed out that often the complaints of aliens in the head or such are made because there really is something wrong with the head, and the patient just relates to it that way.

I feel very strongly that one medical/emotional condition does not automatically rule out any and all other conditions. I hope that you can put everyone's mind at ease about your son's foot by getting a definitive answer.

 

[Wiped Out]

Glad you are going to talk to a doctor about his foot.

As for everything being your fault, I get the same thing here! Hugs.

 

[Liahona]

Foot, knee, and ankle problems run in my family. My youngest sister just spent a few years trying to find out why her legs hurt. It turned out to be that her ankles turn out and she needs orthodics (sp?) She had to go to a foot specialist to find this out though.

Everything is my fault (or difficult child 2's fault) here. I think I prefer it to be mine instead of difficult child 2's fault. Then the anger and aggression is directed at me instead of a 2 year old. Especially things he does and gets punished for are my fault. He normally says that I should've reminded him to be good and not do the behavior before hand. Like I can read his mind and figure out what he is up to before he does it.