Exhausted & Heart broken....AGAIN

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Exhausted mother, Oct 7, 2014.

  1. Exhausted mother

    Exhausted mother New Member

    I will start off by saying I am new here, I, like so many others typed into Google about my child using and on the streets and found this site! Oh my gosh it was like a life safer that I found you, I felt so much better then I have in a long time after reading some of the stories on here!! I feel like I have so many others that I connect with in so many ways that I have just wanted to reach out to everyone!
    I have been going through this for several years now but he was in "remission" so to speak until the past year or so I believe and now all he l l has broke loose!
    The sad part about my situation is I have 2 children in active addiction, the oldest pretty much got the other one started on the Heroin but they are old enough to know better!
    I got a call last Sunday night that my son was so drunk out of his mind and out trying to find dope because he was sick and he apparently couldn't find any so he went to a pharmacy late at night and tried to break into it with a crow bar and apparently popped the lock and when the alarm went off he ran but the license plate was already seen and notified to police! I cannot believe that he stooped to this level! I don't know if anything is going to become of that incident but nothings happened so far. I know that if charges do get brought against him, if he did it he is going to go to state prison for awhile because he's already on PO for other charges! There is so much more that has happened with him I could write a book but I'm to emotionally drained to right now! I woke up this morning to another message from his girlfriend saying that he ran out of a grocery store and jumped in her car and told her to go! Then they go pulled over awhile later because there license plate was taken down ( well hers) and they questioned them! She is livid, she doesn't use, doesn't understand it either but she loves him so much that she keeps trying to help him, I told her as much as it hurts to say it that she needs to drop him off at the shelter and go on her way and tell him she's done with him until he gets help! She is the only person he has left that has stuck by him and he knows it, he tells her that but yet keeps blaming her for things and being mean to her etc. to get what he wants! It has taken me a long time to stop letting him come around me and it still breaks my heart when I know he's out in the cold sleeping in gutters and drain pipes but I must remember he chose that sleeping situation instead of taking the money he had and getting a room!
    My daughter is also in active addiction and has attempted burglary charges and I bailed her out thinking she was just with her boyfriend at the wrong time and low and behold shes got an active addiction going and she's driving me nuts! I am so disgusted about this situation and trying not to get so upset over it but its hard! My daughter doesn't have her boys anymore, they are with her ex that she just broke up with after a 12 yr relationship as the result of both of them using drugs! I know she hurts over that but she keeps running away with her drug buddies to use! Oh my there is so much more to say but I just don't know how to go on anymore! I just wanted to share this so others know their not alone as well as say thanks for sharing your experience because it has brought me comfort knowing I'm not alone!
    I live in Pa. and hope to find a support group closer to home like this one!

    I am not sure what the abbreviated letters are like difficult child etc.
  2. hopeandjoy66

    hopeandjoy66 Member

  3. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    Here is a link for partners of difficult child's www.lovefraud.com
  4. Exhausted mother

    Exhausted mother New Member

    Thank you hopeandjoy66 for the link and advice! Love this site and so glad I found it!
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome, I am glad you found us, support is so important. You have your hands full and you are wise to seek out help. Your children are adults and making some awful choices. I have a feeling your son will be arrested shortly on the pharmacy break in. I would guess they are presenting the info to the prosecutor to see how to proceed. And in light of the grocery store incident it indicates he is escalating his criminal behavior. You gae his grilfriend good advice, she should run as far and as fast away as possible. She cannot fix him. He is in active addiction and needs serious treatment which he will not get if he continues this criminal behavior.

    You are doing all the right things, finding a support group near you is imperative. You must take care of yourself. I have found FA (Families Anonymous) to be very helpful to me.
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  6. Exhausted mother

    Exhausted mother New Member

    Thank you so much Nancy, I was hoping he would go to treatment a long time ago but hasn't happened because he thinks he don't need it! As for the pharmacy, he never got inside so it was an attempted break in which should still have charges coming I would think! He did go to the one police department and they told him he needed to go talk to the other police department where it happened but the funny thing about that is they are the one's who told his girlfriend to call them or have him come in if she seen him which is what he did, so I'm surprised they didn't take him then. So thats what I figured they were trying to get a case together!
    He is pretty much fried now because they are going to have a lot of charges on him.
    I am so exhausted from all this, feel like I've been up for days dealing with a nightmare!

    Thanks so much!
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You are so welcome exhausted. I know how I felt when I first found this site and realized there were others going through the same thing. I felt a huge relief knowing I was no longer alone. I will tell you that when I was going through the worst with my daughter I was completely physically and emotionally exhausted. It took so much of my energy to try to run around behind her fixing things and preventing her from ruining her life that it almost ruined mine.
  8. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome.
    I was just like you. I was in despair at my son's homeless situation when I started googling for advice. I found this site like you and posted in desperation.
    It does get easier, this site helps so much.
    The ideas about detaching and enabling on the Parent Emeritus forum have quite literally changed my life and saved my relationship with my son.
    Keep reading and posting.
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