Family Baggage

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by gcvmom, Sep 3, 2011.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Spent the afternoon with just about all the in-laws -- we were combining b-days (nephew turned 21 last month, difficult child 1's b-day is next week, husband's and his mom's the week after) and we all met down at mother in law/father in law's new place south of here. husband handled his usual pre-family-gathering-stress fairly well. We used to inevitably get in arguments on the way to any gathering of his family because his anxiety got so darn high, he managed to find something to get upset about.

    There is just so much competition and criticism between the "adult" kids it is laughable to see at their ages which range from 47 to 56. It's like they all regress to a time in their lives when they apparently did not get enough attention from their mom. Sometimes I think that woman feeds into it, too. Just so much pettiness, so much insecurity, huge need to control, control, control. Makes me want to scream sometimes.

    My biggest complaint is that they never talk TO or WITH me, it's always AT me. They never ask about ME or MY life, it's always a show-and-tell session to brag about THEIR kid or THEIR job or some other self-esteem boosting moment or validation. Whenever one of them starts talking, I always seem to envision a little 4yo jumping up and down screaming "Look at ME! Look at ME! Look at ME!" Pathetic.

    Fortunately, my kids aren't fazed by any of it -- easy child just looks at me and rolls here eyes and shakes her head or leaves the room. The difficult children just ignore whatever comments the adults are making to eachother.

    I'm just grateful one brother in law had the presence of mind to bring a bottle of wine! :wine:

    With any luck, we won't have to see them again until Thanksgiving or Christmas! :please:
  2. seriously

    seriously New Member

    Perhaps you can come down with "the flu" right before the next trip?
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Omg, sounds EXACTLY like my H and his family. They never ask about me or what I'm doing, how's school, etc. It's always them debating one another or talking about their kids or the NYT best seller list. Ugh. It used to be that before a visit with extended family, H would read a book from the NYT best seller list and make us go see a pseudo-intellectual film. I love to go see those films all the time, but he won't go unless he knows he's seeing his extended family...then all of a sudden he's Mr. Intellectual. Hahahaha. Oh gvc, why not bring your own wine? Or a flask? I go for walks when I'm around them.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sounds like my 4 older sibs and their relationship to mom. I never bought into it, so I was always the odd man out.

    Mom has changed as she's advanced in age though, her desire to control is quickly dissolving, which I find interesting, she's mellowing out to the point where I'm not quite sure aliens didn't switch her.

    However, I've noticed with my sibs.......this change has left them confused and unsure....
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Next time - don't take wine, take Mad Dog 20/20 and start and hour or two BEFORE you get there. THAT could really take the spot light off the self-centered sibs......Know what I mean?? Especially if you took along some Sondheim sheet music and a few props like a hat and a couple of canes. (wink)