Fashion Sense--Not!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Jun 8, 2009.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Good Monday Morning everyone--

    I have posted before about difficult child refusing to wear anything but jeans and Tees (and remember when she actually wore a skirt and sweater combo to school? That's right, she wore nice clothes because it was "Nerd Day".)

    Some time ago, she had a whole series of "dressy" events coming up. Knowing how much she hated dresses, I took her shopping and we picked out a beautiful Mexican-inspired gaucho set. It was all in her favorite colors--shades of lilac and deep purple--with a fancy embroidered blouse and flowing gauchos with metallic accents across the waist. I thought, at the time, that this outfit was a perfect solution. She looked very dressed up and yet still had the comfort of wearing "pants"--plus she looked great!

    Well, you guessed it. She never even wore the darn outfit once. Not once!! The dressing room at the store was the first and last time.

    Fast forward to this morning--

    husband and I helped difficult child get a position volunteering at the local food pantry. She will be helping to organize the canned food on the shelves. We explained to difficult child that this was not a "fancy" office position--she will be doing warehouse work. She needed to wear sneakers (not flip-flops) and Tee shirt and shorts were OK--but please wear something without holes and tears.

    Sure enough, she comes out of her bedroom this morning wearing an old striped polo shirt that barely fits her--paired with the fancy gauchos!

    :tongue: I give up! :whiteflag:

  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member


    DaisyFace, I'm sorry but I couldn't help but laugh.
    Your difficult child's fashion sense reminds me so much of my difficult child's choice in clothes at one point.

    One night, the family was going out to dinner and then the theatre. Everyone was dressed up nicely. difficult child came out of his room wearing:
    • a pair of black jeans that fit him around the middle but were about 5 inches too short
    • powder blue socks
    • a shiny red shirt, of the sort that small children's soccer leagues wear on game days
    • a pair of "spy glasses" from a James Bond kit given to him as a present years before
    • an old, torn, brown leather jacket that the neighbour had given him
    • a pair of MY shoes

    Other than insisting that he change the shoes, we just let him be.

    We've explained that certain outfits make him more "tease-worthy" than others, and left it at that. He's the one that has to live with the funny looks from people, and as long as no one is actively heckling him about his eccentric wardrobe, we don't step in. It's just not a battle we're prepared to fight.

    Daisy, I feel for you, but your difficult child is certainly not alone. does get better.
    difficult child has become Mr. Fashion Conscious of late. Everything fits, everything matches, he no longer wants to borrow my's WAY better.

  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    We just let the kids dress however they want, within reason.

    difficult child 2 went out a week ago to his mother's wearing long underwear - waffle type that were MINE as a child - a paid of shorts - a sweatshirt - and flipflops. He likes jeans & long sleeves when it's 85 out and shorts when it's 20. Sigh.

    difficult child 1 is always cold, except in the winter. She wears some strange combinations but at least she quit rubberbanding her t-shirts like a tail to make them skintight. And she doesn't like really short shorts anymore!
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I'm glad you laughed. Many times, it is the humor that keeps us going when times get tough....


    PS--I can't believe your son wanted to wear your shoes! Not heels, right?


    Boy does that sound familiar! difficult child complains that she's hot when it's all of 20 degrees--and in the summer she piles on extra layers 'cause she feels chilly (or to make me or the other).

  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Well, given that I don't wear flat shoes...yes, they were heels. Thankfully, wedge heeled slip-ons with a fairly thick platform in the front, but still...CLEARLY women's shoes.

    difficult child used to "borrow" his sister's shoes and nana's galoshes all the time too. Fortunately, Step-D goes in for more industrial-looking footwear than I do so it wasn't so obvious difficult child was wearing girls' shoes. And galoshes, well they're galoshes. When the weather's that bad, I think people stop caring...

    Daisy and Step, as for the winter/summer thing...
    A lot of people with Sensory Integration issues have trouble interpreting the brain's signals for hot and cold, and it's pretty easy to get them mixed up or reversed entirely.

    I suffer from this to a degree, and usually check the weather report in the morning to know what kind of clothes I should be wearing based on the temperature, rather than how I feel.

    As a teen, I used to live in shorts with tights or long-johns under them during most of the winter. I also used to wear my school uniform kilt with the knee socks rather than those unbearable woolly stockings they had for us. Ick! My bare legs always felt boiling hot in the winter. Might be worth exploring Sensory Integration Disorder (Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)). There are lots of resources available to help with this.

  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    difficult child 2 just puts on whatever comes to hand - he really doesn't care. And then, overdressed, he's "too hot", or underdressed, he's "freezing". We have to have him change a lot of mornings because he just isn't paying attention. Though I am positive there is some amount of Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) there too.

    difficult child 1's issues appeared in the same time frame as when all of the abuse started. So about 2 1/2 years ago. I think hers is related to that. Sometimes she appears to get it right...

    Then again, Thursday I wore a broomstick skirt, nice tank top, eyelet lace shirt, and sandals. None of which matched or went together. And I got a lot of compliments and "how did you ever put those together? They don't match but it works!"... That's me. If I am comfortable I don't care.
  7. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Wow, I have a difficult child who is starting a bit of an obsession with clothes and appearance. A teenage boy in search of a girlfriend.

    Now my daughter on the other hand............sometimes I am just plain embarassed. And now she has taken to drawing tattos on her hands and legs! One day she is a 'boy' then 'an 80's version of madonna' then she has on the little shorts and tank tops. and she is no small girl.

    this battle I don't choose!

    I just shake my head!
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    :rofl::rofl: I can't help but laugh, sounds like something my easy child or difficult child would do!