LMS, you are a good, loving mother and a special woman with a heart of gold. the decision you made to try was done with a mother's heart and I'm not so sure most mothers would not have tried it as well. DO NOT FEEL BAD. Continuing...
I have no idea why, but I am fascinated by books about crime, certain types of psychological problems, and addiction and I've recently read quite a few about heroin addiction. It is NOT as hopeless as it used to be but it is also not something your son can just decide to quit. The addiction is very strong. You get very "drug sick" I think they call it when you try to quit so it is best not to try it alone.
I want to tell you about one book I read called "Mom, I Need Your Help." Although I can't remember the author you'll find it on Amazon. It was a great true story about a woman whose two children both did heroin. On top of telling their stories, the book explains how you can actually treat heroin addiction.
The daughter does very well, although she has a few relapses. But basically she does yearn to quit and her life has been very good and her mother worked closely with her and it helped.
Now the son. I did not expect him to quit. The story about him sosunded so hopeless...so much like the kids I read about here. I thought, "He won't make it. No way." I was very sad. Remember...this is true. Well, he disappeared on and off and the family, caring people that they were, did not and could not help him anymore. One day he returned with a clean cut girlfriend and he too was clean. Clean. Sober. It took several years and he did it himself. It shocked me as a reader. I do not remember all the specifics as I read so many books,s but this one was so full of hope and joy at the end that I had tears in my eyes.
I can not recall for sure, but I believe in the epilogue both kids are still clean and doing well.
LMS, your son CAN make it. No matter how bad it seems, he can make it. He has a bad disease, an illness that makes him crave something that is very bad for him. And at one time, like in my day (the dinosaur ages), we believed heroin addiction was incurable. But that isn't true anymore. The daughter took a particular drug for a while to help her quit (not methadone), then weaned off of it and is still clean. I don't think the son took anything. Again, my memory fails me a bit.
If you want to get the book just go on Amazon and don't get upset when the boy is doing so poorly. Remember that as bad as he is doing...HE QUIT.
I know you pray so I will send Christian prayers to you and your son with every bit of my heart. I hope you don't give up and I don't think he has really given up. Relapse is just a part of recovery.
I have been cheering for your boy for a long time. His story isn't over. He's young and they are working hard on helping those addicted to heroin now as it has become very common again, sadly.
Please keep the hope and see what he does.
Hugs to you and your poor hurting heart.