field trip/chaperone?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by kymmie, May 8, 2009.

  1. kymmie

    kymmie New Member

    difficult child has a class trip to the art museum coming up and his teacher basicallly said she isn't comfortable taking him without my husband or I coming as a chaperone. His behavior has become more violent in the last couple of weeks, which included throwing a chair in the classroom. I just don't know that I can continue to go on every class trip with him, as I just went with is class to the zoo. And if I go with difficult child on every class trip, it would only be fair to also go on every class trip with easy child. My husband cannot go because of work. I can ask Grandma if she would like to go and I can go also, but I was hoping to save up some time off for doctor's appointments and days difficult child gets suspended (no daycare, I'm sure you understand).

    I am a little conflicted because I feel that he should learn that there are consequences to his behavior (such as not being allowed to go on class trips). But I also know that he doesn't understand punishment like other children and keeping him home won't change his behavior.

    How have you all handled this with your own difficult child?
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I use intermittent FMLA to deal with my difficult child at school. Last year, I had to attend all outings with him or he didn't go. This year, I am acting para for specials at school, when the regular para is out, and on occassional outings.
    My difficult child knows he's "bad". He doesn't need punishment to reinforce it; nor will punishment help him change it. If there's a way I can possibly work it out to go with him to give him what he needs, I do it.
  3. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    Sometimes you do what you do, just because it is what you have to do. You only have so much time, and you must save some of it. His teacher can not manage him with out the support. So leaving him at school, when you have to, is not intended to be a punishment. It is a reality. It is some thing you simply need to do. Approach it as an effect of the disability not a punishment. Talk with him about why. Look for interesting alternatives for him. If possible take a similar trip with him on the week end. Find what ever way to lessen the feel of a punishment.

    My easy child once ruptured his spleen. He lost out on a lot of fun activities and had to spend every recess and gym class in ether the detention hall or the nurse's office. I was able to talk the school into letting him play his gameboy in the nurses' office. A treat that he alone got as normally gameboys were not allowed.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Another thought I had, our school has a mentor program. Actually, its statewide - if high school seniors have a certain attendance rate, GPA, and do so many hours of mentoring at the primary school, they can get college money. In the past, mentors have been able to swap hours around to help with primary activities. I don't know the size of your district - we are small so we know or at least know of most of the student body, and my difficult child does well with high school age kids, particularly boys - could you possibly talk to the guidance counselor and see if anyone, particularly a senior looking into SpEd teaching, would be interested in this as a "job"? Its worth a shot. We've gotten a lot of good people for our difficult child thru the high school guidance counselor.
  5. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Does he have an IEP at school?

    Gosh, it's been eons since my difficult child had the opportunity to go on a field trip.....thinking back, I think he may have always been banned. Sad, hunh? Anyway, I think since it is a school sponsored trip that the school should supply the teacher with the support she needs in order for your son to go. At least, I think that's probably the direction I would take... My answer is colored by the fact that my difficult child usually was worse when I was around, so me going on a field trip wouldn't have helped at all. ;) But if your son responds positively to your presence, if the SD really pushed it, I'd take the day and go. The days of field trips are over before you know it.
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I think that you may want to push for a 1:1 aide in the future... I'd document that you've been advised he cannot go on a trip without a chaperon. I think most schools pull field trips as a punishment for behavior, not to be preemptive. I think I'd ask for an IEP and a BIP.

    I go on all field trips as well, but I work very part time so it's not impacting the family's income. I've never been told I have to attend, I choose to do so because Duckie carries an inhaler & Epipen. My understanding (at our school) is that children spend time in the library if they do not attend a field trip.
  7. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I'm also asked to attend field trips for safety issues and it can be hard to arrange your schedule to make it happen but in the end, I would not feel safe sending my son if I didn't think that adequate support was in place. Better to be cautious if there is a chance of a meltdown. Fair isn't always equal and this child needs more support. It's something to discuss with his siblings as situations will probably frequently occur where difficult child will need more attention. Pursuing an iep and possibly a 1:1 aid is probably a good idea but the school still may not feel comfortable taking a child out of the school setting without a parent due to legal/safety issues.

    Good Luck,