First now second....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Jan 20, 2010.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    ktbug incident.....I can see kt falling apart right in front of me. I've a call into mental health CM.

    I'm giving kt some small freedoms but with those come responsibility. Late curfew - she lost her cell phone for the day. Soooooo, ms kt decided that she would use my cell phone to call a boy at 1 in the morning & talk for 2 hours.

    This morning - wouldn't get up for school. I saw it coming last night already.

    There aren't high expectations but I told the team that it was wrong to let kt know about Plan B. She's sabotaging herself & is ramped up with anxiety.

    I'm not pushing her one way or the other. We sat down & discussed consequences for certain decisions; we discussed the freedoms & responsibilities that would come with better decisions & family work.

    We have our daily check in - she didn't like yesterday's because I got a call from a weird number & it was this young man. Ick.

    All in all an ugly situation already. Or maybe it's just that I'm not as conditioned as I once was to this nonsense.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'm so sorry, Linda. It's hard to be disappointed, even when we know the odds aren't so great for someone. I agree, they should not have told her about Plan B. That's too distracting for someone like her.

  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Yep, knowing there is a plan B, she is probably figuring on getting there sooner rather than later. That would be Kanga's response.

    I hope she gets it together.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I'm so sorry. I agree....letting her know about plan B was probably not a good idea.

  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    So sorry you're having a rough time already. Many hugs.
  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    We attended a therapist appointment this afternoon ~ good timing. therapist, kt & I were able to discuss the house rules; what is expected of kt & why she cannot be here with-o services.

    kt has been fighting the services even though she was all for it before discharge. Saying that, therapist was able to objectively remind kt of the dangers she has put herself in & that the job I'm doing is that of a parent.

    I commented on Plan B & how it maybe shouldn't have been shared with kt. therapist said at this age kt needs to know some of this; she also stated that being honest with a kid like kt with the trauma she's suffered & all the loss in her life may not have been the best thing.

    kt is accepting the services now - she has to if we are able to make it as a family. Additionally, there will be weekly appts for the next month or two until kt is settled & feels more comfortable at home.

    Thanks all - as always I appreciate the support & responses. It's been a long road & I have 2.5 years to finish here. Whatever it takes to get the tweedles to their highest level of functionality has always been my goal.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry that she is making Plan B seem like more of a reality than a possibility. It was not a bright move on the part of those who must be smarter than this to work effectively with parents and patients like kt.

    I know that for years Wiz felt that we were planning for him to fail because the therapist told us that "he could always come back and be admitted again if it didn't work out at home" - with us being husband, difficult child and myself. To HIM that meant that we were planning to re-admit him and nothing he did would work to keep him out of the psychiatric hospital.

    So kt may think that by having a "Plan B" that you don't think she can succeed outside of the psychiatric hospital. Maybe clarifying that would help?

    It is sad that she is pulling these kinds of stunts right away. I hope she stops doing this kind of thing and does NOT try any of the unsafe things that she could do.

    It seems that it would be wise to keep your purse and all financial info locked up as well as your phone. Kids in the psychiatric hospital will have told her how to sign up for a credit card from an offer in the mail. A scary thought, in my opinion.

    Many hugs and prayers for you and ktbug.
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2010
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I really like the idea of weekly visits for now. Good plan, helps her see that this is "real".

    It would be so nice for our kids to have training with a boy who was approved and only in the presence of care providers. For years!
    I would still have my doubts even after that. Sadly
  9. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Update .... kt is still pushing. Left for school in one outfit, apparently changed on the bus & walked into school with 5" heels on & tarty makeup.

    kt changed into "regular" clothes willingly & washed her face. I cannot understand what this girl is thinking right now.

    Services are not up & running - I protested the pushing of discharge up a week just because of this. This is the week I would be hiring on staff & having people already here. kt got home with no staff & is having a gay old time, sinking into old behaviors even tho I have the same standards on most thing & tougher on others.

    I don't mean to sound so discouraged already ~ guess I was just hoping for a honeymoon period.
  10. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Ugh....I'm sorry Linda. Hugs.

    Not that I want her to hurt herself but it's almost too bad Little Miss Tarty pants didn't twist an ankle or two in those shoes. :tongue:

    I hope things get in place soon and Kt pulls her head out of mean out of the clouds.

  11. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Ugghh! It sounds like are daughters are wearing the same outfit...

    Some of this is partly the "fashion" right now...those ridiculously high heels and the boots--but I understand that you don't need this right now. Not on top of everything else.

    Hopefully, those services start ASAP!!!